Does sobriety get easier?
 

I've only been sober for two weeks and I'm newly throwing a pity party for myself. Everyone in my ENTIRE life drinks. Its unavoidable, and thats fine, but I just cannot seem to understand why I am the only one with a problem. I was a weekend warrior (and some week days scattered) for 3+ years. i usually could keep it together, but I had a handful of blackouts over that period of time and EVERYTIME I black out I made bad decisions. Whether it be sleeping with someone or just making an ass of myself. Blackout+hookup=disasterly guilt the next day, lowered self esteem, INSANITY! However, I have had a very fun side of me while drinking. And yes, I do drink to get drunk. Not to blackout, but since I cannot control whenever that is going to happen, abstinence seems the only real safe way to live. I am afraid, sad and I feel very naked without being able to party. I have still been going out to clubs?bars to dance and mingle. I am 25 and honestly, I do enjoy that scene. I love to dance and mingle...that scenery provides that for me. I don't even mind not drinking when I am out. However the boring nights, week nights, happy hours, dinners, lounging around time is whats eating away at me. Its like when theres nothing to do, I miss alcohol. I'm rambling...I hate AA....and honestly I really do not know what is happening to me...I feel better about myself because I look?feel better but Im terrified at the same time. Clarity anyone? Does being *not fkked up* get easier? Cause I'm so used to being *fkked up.* =(

Yes, it does get easier.

I found new friends, new activities, and my freedom.

I'm glad you are here.

I do hope it gets better for you.

My experience is that when I tried to quit without a program of recovery I was miserable. I would recommend checking out the list of recovery programs in the alcoholism section of this forum. There is a sticky at the top of that section with a list of many of them. Personally, AA happens to be the program that has worked for me but there are many others out there who have had success with other programs.

I was terrified of leaving my life behind - I was a musician....drinking and partying was all I knew.

But it was literally killing me, and in more ways than the physical.

I took the leap - I figured it had to better than the hell my life had become.

It hasn't always been easy but it was the best decision of my life and I'll never regret it.

There's fun and joy and happiness and fulfillment to be had, Barbie - I just don't drink anymore :)

It does get easier - support helps.

There's a lot of that here - and a lot more available out there too besides AA if AA is a sticking point for some reason.

Here's a list of some of the main players
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

Welcome to SR! :)

D

Yes, although there are still days when life gives you crap.

Being sober doesn't make that go away. But I've found that it's better to have a lousy day sober, than a lousy day with a horrible hangover with guilt and shame to boot.

Hi Barbie

I'm just over 6 months and it got alot easier around the 3 month mark. It was a total lifestyle change, to the core. The Dalai Lama talks about the difference between pleasure and happiness. The party lifestyle for me, is chasing pleasure but it's always short lived. Happiness is constant and it's much better! The world is awash with traps and pitfalls and most of us trip up but it IS possible to change course, for the better!

All the best and my the strength be with you.

Rosco.
Life=Fun; Alcohol=Devastation.

Yes it does get easier, without doubt!

In my experience though, not until I reached out for help and support, and not until I made a true effort to change the things about myself that were making me drink. I was not able to do it on my own.

Stay sober, find support(face to face I think is vital, and doesnt have to be AA) and work at it... One day at a time.

Hugs and best wishes

I think we do need to change some of our parameters, I notice people months into recovery who haven't really moved their mentality away from the scene they were involved in, and they don't seem very happy. Really, you have to be open minded and willing to give recovery in all earnestness a fair go. I was willing to do whatever it took because I knew that the choice was between life and death, and this was not the way I wished to go. It does get better, not in two weeks, but as you work at stable recovery over the long term.

We live in a culture which glamorizes drinking, there is an ugly side.

Sobriety Gets Easier!
 

Hi Barbie,
I used to black out when I drank and the last time I did, I got into my car & came to in an ICU after colliding head-on with another car. I thankfully did not injure anyone else. You black out too, and sooner or later that can lead to a disaster - it's not something you'll ever be able to control. Ever. Please believe that. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and you'll never be able to revert to being a "normal" drinker.
Yeah, it gets much easier though. If you keep hanging around places/people where drinking goes on, you might eventually give in to temptation. I'd change that asap.
Have you looked up AA meetings where you live? If not, please do...the misery you're feeling will fade with the realization that you're not alone!

It gets easier...but the people who seem really amazingly happy in sobriety all seem to have taken sobriety as an opportunity to actively workin themselves.

Welcome to SR!

Hi Barbie-

Go back and re-read your quote above.

I used to hang out in bars and clubs all the time. I did shots, did coke, and mingled my arse off for years in Virginia.

Sure, some of it was fun, but as my alcoholism got worse, so did the pain, the shame, the regret, the remorse, the guilt, and then cam the consequences (and trust me, they will come).

In my experience, it's only going to get worse.

I also found out that once I quit drinking, my drinking friends didn't really have much to do with me b/c we weren't really that good of friends anyway.

...but I've met great people in AA. We go bowling, running, swimming, we go to sports bars and watch the games, eat out, and of course help each other with out alcoholism.

Sobriety rocks!

Kjell~

Good news: Sobriety does get easier.

Bad news: Life doesn't.

That's where I went wrong. :cool:

It got easier for me once I started practicing gratitude every day. When I am truly grateful for my blessings I have no desire to drink.:)

For me sobriety sucks when I define it as doing without. Sobriety is wonderful when I define it as giving myself the gift of freedom and life.

I first resisted sobriety because I had decided in my mind that it meant a boring life of strict self discipline, deprivation and white knuckling through each day.

Then one day it dawned on me that sobriety was HAVING life, being more fully engaged with and available to relationships, experiences, satisfaction and joy.

Sobriety isn't about what I can't do, it's about all the things I can do. It opens up so many opportunites that were unavailable to me in active addiction.

To me, the ability to say no to alcohol is like a muscle; it gets stronger with use. The more you are able to say NO!, the easier it becomes the next time. You may not notice any difference at first but after a few months, if you look back, you will see a lot of gains have been made.

It is also a lot easier if you "deliver yourself from temptation" by keeping away from your past drinking places and companions and find new friends and activities. Starting an exercise and healthy-eating routine will give you positive feedback and a renewed sense of personal virtue. There is nothing like feeling a bit smug about oneself to make life a little better.

Changing life up and taking action during down time worked for me. When I was heading out to la-la land I'd come here or take the dogs for a walk. I've changed the way I do things...I don't have a big 'social following' so changing was easy. I didn't have to explain anything to anyone or have them worry about what happened.

I would think that after you are settled in your sobriety (like 5 years LOL) going out and mingling could be an option. But I would think that as we grow we'd want to cut those things that made us uncomfortable and obviously drinking and partying is not good for you. Find other things in life that can be satisfying. No one said it was easy but its do-able. Really.

Leo - that's awesome!

I am not giving up the friends I have to spend Friday nights at the diner with a bunch of AA people. I do enjoy going out on the weekend nights, and I'm not going to stop that. I dont like staying home, going to movies, or any of that stuff. I genuinely enjoy clubbing, dancing and hanging out in that atmosphere. And I have wonderful supportive friends and my boyfriend drinks too as well. I'm not cutting all these people out of my life....hello? In that miserable case, I might as well be drinking! I'm willing to not drink and get some support but I'm not cutting everyone in my life out. That's stupid. I have alot of ppl in my life who drink. I love them and BC they choose to drink doesn't make them bad ppl

^^Barbie all the best on your journey and hope things work out...if you can, keep reading and posting here on SR as it's a great place with a lot of collective wisdom.

I don't think anyone was suggesting you cut out everyone in your life