3 day binge
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
AA I got it. But what other ideas can I throw into my "plan"?
There are many other things you can do, and somewhere on this site there is a list of them. I'm not sure where to locate that but someone will probably be around shortly who does. You are early in your sobriety so just getting through the shakes and anxiety is a bitch and probably consumes your day right now. One thing you should consider is getting some medical help to deal with the withdrawal symptoms. In the past I've gone to "prompt care" type medical settings, explained what I was going through and was given some valium to help. The valium really helped and I only needed it for about 36 hours.
AA is only an hour long meeting but I usually feel better for the rest of the day when I attend one. Exercise can also help, especially with the anxiety. Put on an iPod and go for a run if you can.
There are many other things you can do, and somewhere on this site there is a list of them. I'm not sure where to locate that but someone will probably be around shortly who does. You are early in your sobriety so just getting through the shakes and anxiety is a bitch and probably consumes your day right now. One thing you should consider is getting some medical help to deal with the withdrawal symptoms. In the past I've gone to "prompt care" type medical settings, explained what I was going through and was given some valium to help. The valium really helped and I only needed it for about 36 hours.
AA is only an hour long meeting but I usually feel better for the rest of the day when I attend one. Exercise can also help, especially with the anxiety. Put on an iPod and go for a run if you can.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 228
My last 3-day binge almost put me 6-feet under. Just don't let it come to that, but if you don't quit, it might. Seriously, your brother should be the only reminder you need in order to WANT to quit. I lost a brother, too, so believe me, I know the feeling.
like a thunder bacon punch!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 76
Thanks for the support. I litterialy feel like im going insane and about ready to die over here. I almost feel like I'm on a bad acid trip and wondering if i need to go to the hospital which isint helping me with my anxiety. I've had worse hangovers then this though so I know in a few hours from now i'll feel better. Just wish I could sleep the rest of this day away.
Also should note how f'ed it is that I can feel this bad and swear off drinking but in a few days my mind will be all to willing to do this over again?? It's insane!!!
Also should note how f'ed it is that I can feel this bad and swear off drinking but in a few days my mind will be all to willing to do this over again?? It's insane!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
After my last (or next to last) stupid relapse, Ranger said to me, "We don't shoot our wounded."
Because I grew up with an alcoholic father who was destined to die, I feel a lot of guilt when I feel the aftereffects of alcohol. There is also, of course, the alcohol depression. SR has allowed me, surprisingly, to take a new stand.
On that first day off just take care of yourself. Do not drink. That is the one thing you must be sure of. Otherwise, I would call in sick. I would watch TV. I would eat anything I wanted. But do not drink. Then tomorrow will be your Day 2. Day 2 is a good place.
Keep reading and posting. Every one of us knows what you are going through.
Because I grew up with an alcoholic father who was destined to die, I feel a lot of guilt when I feel the aftereffects of alcohol. There is also, of course, the alcohol depression. SR has allowed me, surprisingly, to take a new stand.
On that first day off just take care of yourself. Do not drink. That is the one thing you must be sure of. Otherwise, I would call in sick. I would watch TV. I would eat anything I wanted. But do not drink. Then tomorrow will be your Day 2. Day 2 is a good place.
Keep reading and posting. Every one of us knows what you are going through.
like a thunder bacon punch!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 76
That's what I like about this site. Under my old account I know I came back after numerous trips off the wagon and I was welcomed back.
But God I hope this is the last time i do this to myself. Im a young guy at 31 but dammit im getting to old for this s**t!
Kind of afraid here, i called into work now for 3 days and they called mew right back saying they want a doctors note when i come back Monday. Hope I still have my job after this!
Also found a reciept for burger king that was around 1am.and i have zero memory of going there!! Just glad me and my truck made it home in one piece istread of getting another dwi or worse wrecking and getting myself or another killed! And iof i keep this lifestyle up its just a matter of time before that happens...
But God I hope this is the last time i do this to myself. Im a young guy at 31 but dammit im getting to old for this s**t!
Kind of afraid here, i called into work now for 3 days and they called mew right back saying they want a doctors note when i come back Monday. Hope I still have my job after this!
Also found a reciept for burger king that was around 1am.and i have zero memory of going there!! Just glad me and my truck made it home in one piece istread of getting another dwi or worse wrecking and getting myself or another killed! And iof i keep this lifestyle up its just a matter of time before that happens...
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 1,149
I've been in your shoes more times than I can count.
Yeah it is insane. And if you continue it will get even worse.
Don't hesitate to get some medical help today if you feel you need it.
As far as other things you can do besides 'an hour meeting':
Keep hydrated. Lots and lots of water or sports drinks.
Eat properly. Take vitimins.
Sleep. Get plenty of rest.
and...
Go to meetings.
I make lists of positive goals to achieve in the immediate future.
Simple things, benificial things.
Like go for a long walk.
Go to the gym.
Get a haircut.
Clean out a closet. Wash your car....etc...
Rather than spend the day drinking, first thing I do is make my bed.
Believe it or not that seems to get my day started on a positive note.
Then I do things on my list and cross them off as they get done.
Gives you a sense of achievement.
Change your routine. Next thing you know you will be driving by the liquor store and flipping it the bird.
Good luck and take care.
Yeah it is insane. And if you continue it will get even worse.
Don't hesitate to get some medical help today if you feel you need it.
As far as other things you can do besides 'an hour meeting':
Keep hydrated. Lots and lots of water or sports drinks.
Eat properly. Take vitimins.
Sleep. Get plenty of rest.
and...
Go to meetings.
I make lists of positive goals to achieve in the immediate future.
Simple things, benificial things.
Like go for a long walk.
Go to the gym.
Get a haircut.
Clean out a closet. Wash your car....etc...
Rather than spend the day drinking, first thing I do is make my bed.
Believe it or not that seems to get my day started on a positive note.
Then I do things on my list and cross them off as they get done.
Gives you a sense of achievement.
Change your routine. Next thing you know you will be driving by the liquor store and flipping it the bird.
Good luck and take care.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Soberviking - Everyone's said good stuff already. I'll just add that I think it's great you are trying to find a way out of this hell at your age. I went on another 20 yrs. drinking and trying to control it. I never once considered that I'd have to give it up entirely. What a different life I would've had if at 31 I'd come to the conclusion you are right now. It's poison to us - but we want so much to be able to drink normally - that's why we keep trying again & again to have "just a couple". There is no such thing for us, but it's damn hard to admit.
You never have to feel this miserable again. Once these horrible feelings leave you it can be over. Glad you are here talking about it. You're never alone.
You never have to feel this miserable again. Once these horrible feelings leave you it can be over. Glad you are here talking about it. You're never alone.
like a thunder bacon punch!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 76
I'm so ready for tomorrow!!
I keep wishing I could just go to sleep but heck maybe it's best I stay awake and remember every agonizing second of this.
But I'm just not going to put off AA and making up excuses for not going. I'm going to be there bright and early in the morning and maybe hit a couple different meetings.
And if I do lose my job over this I should have plenty of free time to hit tons of meetings!!
I keep wishing I could just go to sleep but heck maybe it's best I stay awake and remember every agonizing second of this.
But I'm just not going to put off AA and making up excuses for not going. I'm going to be there bright and early in the morning and maybe hit a couple different meetings.
And if I do lose my job over this I should have plenty of free time to hit tons of meetings!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I don't do AA, but from I'm told, it goes way beyond just sitting around talking for an hour. Those 12 steps have transformed a lot of lives in some really lasting, meaningful ways.
If AA isn't your bag—and how do you know that until you give it a try?—then you could also consider SMART recovery or an addiction counselor. The point is that what you've been doing until now isn't working. At all. You need to try new things. If nothing changes, nothing changes, and you will have a lot more mornings like this... and much worse. Going to a AA or SMART meeting and/or talking to a specialist could yield all kinds of other things to incorporate into your plan.
Nothing's going to magically solve this overnight. Hope alone sure won't do it. But taking a step now, followed by another and another, will help you reclaim your life. You really can do it.
Glad you're back here!
If AA isn't your bag—and how do you know that until you give it a try?—then you could also consider SMART recovery or an addiction counselor. The point is that what you've been doing until now isn't working. At all. You need to try new things. If nothing changes, nothing changes, and you will have a lot more mornings like this... and much worse. Going to a AA or SMART meeting and/or talking to a specialist could yield all kinds of other things to incorporate into your plan.
Nothing's going to magically solve this overnight. Hope alone sure won't do it. But taking a step now, followed by another and another, will help you reclaim your life. You really can do it.
Glad you're back here!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
BTW is it normal to feel like a giant wuss becuase I have problem I cant control. And I have anxiety so bad I can't even sit while typing this?
So what you are really saying is that alcohol has kicked your ass and you are waving the white surrender flag. Sounds like you have completed step 1 of AA, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable.
Now it's on to step 2.
So what you are really saying is that alcohol has kicked your ass and you are waving the white surrender flag. Sounds like you have completed step 1 of AA, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable.
Now it's on to step 2.
Wow! like a thunder bacon punch!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 76
Yeah Zeb you can pretty much say it's feels like Brock Lesner and Mike Tyson gave me a good old fashion ass whooping. I've kind of admitted I've been powerless over it for years.....just to stubborn to do anything about it.
And undone don't take this as discouraging...I'm a little down right now but hey the sun will shine again. I'm optimistic like that
Starting to feel a little bit like I'm part of the human race again. The thought of food isn't making me nauseous anymore....still don't want to eat though.
And undone don't take this as discouraging...I'm a little down right now but hey the sun will shine again. I'm optimistic like that
Starting to feel a little bit like I'm part of the human race again. The thought of food isn't making me nauseous anymore....still don't want to eat though.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 273
AA meetings won't "cure" you, but if you get a sponsor they will help you do this for yourself. You'll learn that there is no magic cure in this at all, you have to fight for this, and the 12 steps is a really good manual for all of us who have tried to quit but don't know how.
I had a crash course in the 12 steps, I went to rehab. If I had listened when I tried the meetings a year ago, it may not have gotten worse, but it did, I just wasn't ready to do it someone else's way.
Now I get it.
I had a crash course in the 12 steps, I went to rehab. If I had listened when I tried the meetings a year ago, it may not have gotten worse, but it did, I just wasn't ready to do it someone else's way.
Now I get it.
like a thunder bacon punch!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 76
I always say my stubbornness would be the death of me someday. That's why I always just wanted to get sober "my way"
Obviously my way sucks.
As a side note I like the idea that I'm on day one on Friday the 13th. I've had good luck on these days.
Obviously my way sucks.
As a side note I like the idea that I'm on day one on Friday the 13th. I've had good luck on these days.
Sobriety date April 19th 2011
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Salem, VA
Posts: 157
You know what's really strange to me ? And for me to be saying this ?
Hearing you saying these things sound like words from an AA. What you are saying are the same things we hear meeting in and meeting out... The book says the same things. I came to say the same things...
Only it took me hitting rehab first to get the chemical dependency out of my system.
Keep in mind that the first few meetings may feel uncomfortable , but try different ones , you will start to recognize faces and people and will find 1-3 that you really like and can really relate tot he group.
It's also not a damn thing wrong with saying " I'm xxx and I'm new here and just going to listen" if you so desire.
BTW , I'm 32 , and I was surprised at the ranging age groups in these meetings. Often anywhere from 20-70 although the groups I like the best ( and my home group ) is a smaller group with a good mix and all of them are great people.
Hearing you saying these things sound like words from an AA. What you are saying are the same things we hear meeting in and meeting out... The book says the same things. I came to say the same things...
Only it took me hitting rehab first to get the chemical dependency out of my system.
Keep in mind that the first few meetings may feel uncomfortable , but try different ones , you will start to recognize faces and people and will find 1-3 that you really like and can really relate tot he group.
It's also not a damn thing wrong with saying " I'm xxx and I'm new here and just going to listen" if you so desire.
BTW , I'm 32 , and I was surprised at the ranging age groups in these meetings. Often anywhere from 20-70 although the groups I like the best ( and my home group ) is a smaller group with a good mix and all of them are great people.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
Yeah Zeb you can pretty much say it's feels like Brock Lesner and Mike Tyson gave me a good old fashion ass whooping.
I once used that analogy in a meeting. I'm a bit older than you, and I remember a heavy weight fighter named Chuck Wepner (nicknamed the "The Bayonne Bleeder,") who had a 15 round fight with Muhammad Ali, along with several other "name" fights. No badly how bad he was bleeding he kept getting back up, only to get pummeled by punches again, he just never quit. In the Ali fight, in the ninth round Wepner appeared to knock down Ali, though Ali later contended that Wepner had stepped on his foot. Wepner went to his corner and said to his manager, "Hey, I knocked him down." "Yeah," Wepner's manager replied, "but he looks really pissed off now..."The fans loved the guy.
He is creditied as being the inspiration for the title character in the Rocky movies.
Myself, I would be down on the canvas struggling to get up while king alcohol would be over in the corner resting and waiting me to come back so he could knock me down again. It took me a long time to realize that I was never gonna win the fight.
I once used that analogy in a meeting. I'm a bit older than you, and I remember a heavy weight fighter named Chuck Wepner (nicknamed the "The Bayonne Bleeder,") who had a 15 round fight with Muhammad Ali, along with several other "name" fights. No badly how bad he was bleeding he kept getting back up, only to get pummeled by punches again, he just never quit. In the Ali fight, in the ninth round Wepner appeared to knock down Ali, though Ali later contended that Wepner had stepped on his foot. Wepner went to his corner and said to his manager, "Hey, I knocked him down." "Yeah," Wepner's manager replied, "but he looks really pissed off now..."The fans loved the guy.
He is creditied as being the inspiration for the title character in the Rocky movies.
Myself, I would be down on the canvas struggling to get up while king alcohol would be over in the corner resting and waiting me to come back so he could knock me down again. It took me a long time to realize that I was never gonna win the fight.
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