Two Years Today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 246
Two Years Today
Considering how little I contribute to SR these days, I actually feel a little guilty and selfish posting about myself. Nonetheless, I mark two years of sobriety today, and I want to share it with someone. The good folks on this website helped talk me through those first challenging days and weeks, and I couldn't have survived then without their help. Thank you to everyone who has befriended me and helped me along this fragile path.
Alcohol still threatens me from time to time. We'll be at a family gathering, or even hosting one ourselves, and the icy bottles of cold lager look so benign. What possible problems could downing a couple create, especially since I've proven to myself that I can remain sober? I'm smart enough -- or have enough experience on SR -- to know better, but there is terrible danger in not being vigilant. Two years of sobriety means 730 "one day at a time"s, and it's amazing how a random Day 459 or 672 can suddenly feel as challenging as Day 1.
That said, I want to provide some positive energy for people new to sobriety. I thought about drinking, and not drinking, a lot my first couple months of sobriety. Then it became easier, and other more important things occupied the void and energy that booze consumed. It just happens as the days pass, and you forget what it feels like to be drunk or what physically motivated you to drink. I do, however, remember a feeling of "So this is it?" when 3-, 6-, and 9-month milestones arrived. Life's trials and challenges don't end when you're sober, and no one throws a parade on milestone days.
Had one tough period a few months ago where I had to fire a long-time coworker. Totally miserable experience that loomed for weeks, and in the days after it happened, I gave some extra long, loving looks to the liquor store as I drove past. Never stopped though... thank god. I've kept notes about my sobriety that I re-read on tough days, like how proud I am that my kids are growing up in a home where alcohol no longer is abused.
One other life lesson. I love sweets, especially chocolate, and I've generally kept weight problems at bay by exercising. Knocked 15 pounds off this spring, but have put 5 back on thanks to falling off the "no chocolate" wagon. Training for a marathon this fall, so I'll have my ups and downs, but the experience has reminded me how easy it would be to quickly degenerate into an abuser of anything. Cheating on a diet for me usually means a few too many days of too much junk food. The same thing would happen with booze, with one important distinction: It would completely destroy my life. I quick drinking before it destroyed my life, but if I resumed drinking, I shudder to think how fast I'd hit rock bottom. It wouldn't be months or weeks... it would be days.
These are the best days of my life, and all that separates them from the worst is that first, refreshingly cold beer. I can never forget that.
If I can ever provide any insight into my experience and how it could help other folks here at SR, please message me or reply. We're all in this together, and I will try to do a better job of participating here again. Thank you everyone who's helped me along this path.
Alcohol still threatens me from time to time. We'll be at a family gathering, or even hosting one ourselves, and the icy bottles of cold lager look so benign. What possible problems could downing a couple create, especially since I've proven to myself that I can remain sober? I'm smart enough -- or have enough experience on SR -- to know better, but there is terrible danger in not being vigilant. Two years of sobriety means 730 "one day at a time"s, and it's amazing how a random Day 459 or 672 can suddenly feel as challenging as Day 1.
That said, I want to provide some positive energy for people new to sobriety. I thought about drinking, and not drinking, a lot my first couple months of sobriety. Then it became easier, and other more important things occupied the void and energy that booze consumed. It just happens as the days pass, and you forget what it feels like to be drunk or what physically motivated you to drink. I do, however, remember a feeling of "So this is it?" when 3-, 6-, and 9-month milestones arrived. Life's trials and challenges don't end when you're sober, and no one throws a parade on milestone days.
Had one tough period a few months ago where I had to fire a long-time coworker. Totally miserable experience that loomed for weeks, and in the days after it happened, I gave some extra long, loving looks to the liquor store as I drove past. Never stopped though... thank god. I've kept notes about my sobriety that I re-read on tough days, like how proud I am that my kids are growing up in a home where alcohol no longer is abused.
One other life lesson. I love sweets, especially chocolate, and I've generally kept weight problems at bay by exercising. Knocked 15 pounds off this spring, but have put 5 back on thanks to falling off the "no chocolate" wagon. Training for a marathon this fall, so I'll have my ups and downs, but the experience has reminded me how easy it would be to quickly degenerate into an abuser of anything. Cheating on a diet for me usually means a few too many days of too much junk food. The same thing would happen with booze, with one important distinction: It would completely destroy my life. I quick drinking before it destroyed my life, but if I resumed drinking, I shudder to think how fast I'd hit rock bottom. It wouldn't be months or weeks... it would be days.
These are the best days of my life, and all that separates them from the worst is that first, refreshingly cold beer. I can never forget that.
If I can ever provide any insight into my experience and how it could help other folks here at SR, please message me or reply. We're all in this together, and I will try to do a better job of participating here again. Thank you everyone who's helped me along this path.
And thank you for the positive message of hope.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Dont feel guilty for posting your own birthday. With
20 yrs. sobriety it is my own responsibility to share
it with others. And Im grateful for every one day at
a time to get me where I am today.
So I'm happy to humbly celebrate
everyday.
20 yrs. sobriety it is my own responsibility to share
it with others. And Im grateful for every one day at
a time to get me where I am today.
So I'm happy to humbly celebrate
everyday.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Congratulations and thank you for the information. Those of us early in the process really need to hear from you--especially that last line. I know right now that I cannot have a beer or it's over, but to hear that that is the way it will always be is, well, sobering. It's a little sad,but what I really need is to know that I must ignore my fantasies that I can drink again.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
I remember well, those early days, when the bottles seemed to have a heavenly glow, glistening with their little halos and the sun bouncing off of their smiling little pearly white teeth.....
and then I'd think of the sleeping tiger that lies within...just waiting
Congratulations on two years. Hell, Why Can't We Have A Parade For Freeport?
If you're on the Nautical Mile, I can be there in three hours!
WTG...
and then I'd think of the sleeping tiger that lies within...just waiting
Congratulations on two years. Hell, Why Can't We Have A Parade For Freeport?
If you're on the Nautical Mile, I can be there in three hours!
WTG...
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