Lipitor

Heelooooooo Slimey fish..........




KEN: The C ..THe C ...the C .......

Archie; , Cathcart Towers Hotel ?

KEN. Cathcart Towers Hotel (stares at camera)



One of mine too. Slightly off topic. but thanks.

L

Lipitor

This sober time status thing should only be an issue to ourselves if we let it be one.

Good question Lipitor (or should I call you atorvastatin, it's going off patent soon ).[/QUOTE]


I would be just as happy with that as I am with simvastatin.
Call me anything except late for dinner.

Thanks for the feedback

L

stephnc

I think you're correct, Jay. I suppose you could find an upside to the 'hierarchy' phenomenon - maybe groups want to know who's newer so that can give them the proper attention they need, and likewise it could be that more is expected from a long-termer who not might be needed to take a sort of leadership role (whether mentoring/sponsoring newcomers, handling the business end of things, etc.)

This topic is particularly interesting to me because last week, less than a month from what would have been my first year sober, I had a 'slip' and drank again. I'm curious and a little wary of how my fellow aa members will put me into our group's hierarchy. The thing that particularly bums me out is that I doubt I'll be able to chair again until I've got 6 months (I think that's our rule), and I really enjoy chairing.

My group also takes a closed meeting to a nearby treatment facility every month and they require at least 30 days of sobriety for us to attend. Not that I'm going to be heartbroken if I miss one of those meetings, but it is a little discouraging to be identified as a newcomer again.

I think the whole idea of counting days versus 'one day at a time' is pretty inconsistent and does send a mixed message. But on the other hand, I can also appreciate the desire to have someone with longer sobriety take care of the administrative stuff (handling money, serving on committees - GSR or whatever that is).

OK, enough babbling from me.

AllLiesAndJest

Gosh, this has been a fascinating thread for me.
I'm just 12 days into sobriety (and counting!). This is my first serious attempt, after a lifetime of heavy drinking that has clearly slipped into alcoholism in the last year or two.
To me, each day (or especially 'night time') has been a major battle. So each morning, when I wake up, I give myself a little pat on the back 'cos I've managed another day.
I put another tick on my wall calendar. So what?!
The absolute number in total is growing, and I feel that to be important because I believe the further down this journey I travel, the easier it will become. I have to believe that's so. It's what helps me get through the now.
In the longer term, I hope sobriety will become such a normal state for me that it won't be necessary or relevant to count the days, weeks or months.
In the meantime, I find it very helpful.
The conversation I have in respect of the number of days so far is with me and with God. Plus SR members, in the hope of finding additional encouragement.
The cynical views expressed about AA's focus on 'how long?' saddens me. I've only been to two meetings so far, and no-one asked me that question. My perceptions so far are that AA members are focused on providing mutual support. I have every intention of continuing to draw on that support and, God willing, be in a better position to offer support to others in return, over time.
I guess it's inevitable that a forum like this will attract a very wide range of experiences and views. I would invite those contributors who are much further down the road of sobriety to give thought to the more naive and inexperienced of us who might need to cling to small crumbs of comfort, by counting the days.

LSNP

I don't choose to count, really. I'm not striving for one month, one year, a lifetime. I don't know if I will ever drink again. Right now, I'm just choosing not to and enjoying life. Counting? Heck, one can count days til they die. It's irrelevant. What's relevant is what's in one's head.

slugger9787

I have, as does everyone, a bellybutton birth day, as the day that I was delivered from the womb into the world. This day is celebrated each year, sometimes with trepidition, as age and time march on relentlessly.

I have, as do a select group of people, a sobriety birthday, as the day I was delivered from the tomb back into life. This day is meaningless to most people, due to their not having the disease of addiction, or understanding the significance.

This sobriety birthday is important for me due to several reasons. It is the date of my last drink and my last drunk. I never, never want to forget the animal that I had become. Or how I behaved like that horrible/wonderful day, for if I forget what it was like, and what I was like at the end, I will entertain ideas along the lines of "I was not that bad......yet, maybe I can drink again."

That day was a EUREKA for me. It was an EPIPHANY. It was the ABSOLUTE ANSWER AND SOLUTION to the living hell I was existing in. For what reason would I in my sanity want to forget that day? The disease of addiction definately wants me to forget that day, that turning point.

I no longer oblige my disease, and my disease is, on a daily basis, constantly attempting to con, fool, outsmart, convince, connive me into believing three things, one won't hurt, it was not that bad, or I know enough that I can control my drinking.

So take it or leave it, my own experience as I aped and mimicked the people who sponsored me, and they certainly professed a strong inclination to count days and weeks and months and years, both in their actions and their speech. I do not in my minds magnifying eye overanalyze why we count the time, I simply utilize it as one of the tools that is there to use.

FrothyJay

Not babbling-- real honest stuff.

Hopefully all of this doesn't derail you from looking at why you drank. And there should be people from AA who are less concerned with what this means to your commitments and status and more concerned with helping you recover.

I viewed my last drink as critical to my recovery. It was an epiphany about hopelessness, not a failure of willpower.

When I got into the actual work of the steps (which perhaps you are), I found my interest in how much time I had faded, and I became much more cognizant of the change that was happening in me. And I think time becomes far less important when you believe you've recovered.

FBL

I did keep track of the days, especially for the first few months. After awhile, I focused more on my recovery and less on the number of days, weeks, months. I'm a "numbers" guy, so I do check the sobriety calculator once in awhile. I find it gives me a great sense of accomplishment, but I don't dwell on it and I quickly go back to living my (sober) life. I'll never forget my "day one" (June 22, 2009), as it was the first day of my wonderful new life

Enoy

I kind of agree with this and the idea that as time goes on we don't think about it constantly but are aware of when we get the urges to drink as a reminder to NOT drink.

It does freak me out a little when people in meetings will say "I have 1248 days sober and today I wanted to drink " Rather than saying " I have almost 3.5 years "


I think it's a mental trick to to amplify the length of time even if in our own heads. I currently count the days and probably will until I hit 30 or 60. Then it will likely be weeks that I'm counting until 6 months. By that time I will be counting them as months ( or plan to be if I make it that far ). I believe in simplifying the math and don't need the big number to look better. To me the higher label is in the day/month/year progression.


Kind of like sales pitches of $29.99 instead of $30. Or gas pumps that say $3.79 in big numbers then the 9/10 in small so you don't see that you are 1/10th of a cent less than $3.80

Humbled77

If it helps someone stay sober by constantly counting the days, then more power to them. I quit drinking so I could fully enjoy life and be healthy. For me, obsessing too much about the past and the minutia of not driking is like going through a nasty divorce and then stalking your ex, a bad situation is still ruling your life. Though I do have to count when posting on SR, for reference.

Humbled77

Though I should add, I understand that we are all different and when it comes to sobriety use whatever tools you need. I was just stated how it works for me.

cabledude

Any excuse for cake.

FrothyJay

Untreated alcoholism

FNB3

Yeah, free food is good enough for me too...

Enoy

I would venture to say that since they were long time AA members that they were treating it by being there and talking about it.

Eagles Fan

My sponsor says that we count days and celebrate our time as a way to deliver the message to newcomers that it can be done.

FrothyJay

If we're treating our alcoholism we shouldn't want to drink after 1248 days. That we want to drink suggests we haven't taken the necessary steps to treat it.

And talking never relieved my alcoholism. It just gave it a voice with which it could annoy the outside world.

Enoy

If that's the case then why would anyone be in AA more than 3 years ?


If it's a daily, lifelong struggle/commitment and incurable disease (like you see everywhere especially in all of the AA quotes you mention in your signature) Would that not mean a lifelong treatment process ?


His particular comment was " I didn't feel like coming to a meeting tonight.... but even after 1284 days, I wanted to drink today. So I came here anyway and I'm so glad I did "


Either way. I don't want to make this about his treatment, I was using the example of the "Days counted" rather than in months or years.

FrothyJay

To expand their recovery and spiritual life by carrying the message to other alcoholics.

Yes, insofar as carrying the message is part of your treatment. But AA does not say anywhere that alcoholism must be a lifelong battle against urges and other forms of alcoholic madness. It says we can recover, for good.


I understand, and I don't want to hijack the thread either. But AA is unfortunately filled with many myths about what AA is, and what it promises. Reading the Big Book should help clarify that. Otherwise, we're usually handed a lot of ideas and slogans that have no basis in Alcoholics Anonymous.

CatFry

I hear you! I'm one of those who would rather not think about it, nor count days, weeks, etc. Of course this attempt of sobriety started yesterday. How do I forget that my first day was Cinco de Mayo? In case you don't have that in Australia, it is traditionally a day dedicated to drinking Mexican beer, Mexican tequila, maybe eat a burrito, and back to the beer. Arrgh!

Ps. L-l-love A Fish Called Wanda : )