Class of May 2011
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Thank you all.
It seems this weekend was a toughy for a few of us - its great we are all still here though, not giving up.
I suppose the combination of it being my birthday and facing what I thought was going to be a difficult evening spent with my ex who I knew didnt really want to be there but was doing it out of a kind of duty because it was my birthday. I suppose the drinking did make it easier on the night and I actually had an ok time and managed to talk out the issues and we have agreed to put a proper end to our relationship and stop pretending.
So that done I should have stopped there. However, kids were away with their Dad for the weekend so as soon as they left I bought a litre of vodka and 8 330ml bottles of peroni and over Friday night and from about 4pm Sat afternoon drank it all expect two of the bottles of beer.
I just sat messing about on the pc, drinking and smoking and feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Im glad its over. I did enjoy the drink on Thursday and if I was a normal drinker I could have left it at that. However the Friday and Saturday drinking was not enjoyable at all and that is why I decided to stop.
So I guess ive had a reminder of the hell - it could of been worse Ive had much more debilitating hangovers than this but I still feel pretty cr*p and as I guess I deserve to feel.
I did post on here and I rang my sponsor before I took that first drink on Thursday so I didnt give up without a bit of a fight but there wasnt anything that was going to talk me out of it at the time.
I guess now ive moved on regarding the relationship with the ex things should improve although Im still sad and scared of being alone. If its not wise to start a new relationship until at least a year sober then ive got a long time to work on myself.
I expect the cravings will increase again once I feel better having put it back into my system. I know im not going to sleep well for a while. Just going back to the bottle for 3 days has caused me to lose alot. ITS NOT WORTH IT. I must reread this when I think about drinking. I dont think I could drink today if someone paid me - far too queasy.
Looking forward to day 2, anything is better than day 1.
It seems this weekend was a toughy for a few of us - its great we are all still here though, not giving up.
I suppose the combination of it being my birthday and facing what I thought was going to be a difficult evening spent with my ex who I knew didnt really want to be there but was doing it out of a kind of duty because it was my birthday. I suppose the drinking did make it easier on the night and I actually had an ok time and managed to talk out the issues and we have agreed to put a proper end to our relationship and stop pretending.
So that done I should have stopped there. However, kids were away with their Dad for the weekend so as soon as they left I bought a litre of vodka and 8 330ml bottles of peroni and over Friday night and from about 4pm Sat afternoon drank it all expect two of the bottles of beer.
I just sat messing about on the pc, drinking and smoking and feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Im glad its over. I did enjoy the drink on Thursday and if I was a normal drinker I could have left it at that. However the Friday and Saturday drinking was not enjoyable at all and that is why I decided to stop.
So I guess ive had a reminder of the hell - it could of been worse Ive had much more debilitating hangovers than this but I still feel pretty cr*p and as I guess I deserve to feel.
I did post on here and I rang my sponsor before I took that first drink on Thursday so I didnt give up without a bit of a fight but there wasnt anything that was going to talk me out of it at the time.
I guess now ive moved on regarding the relationship with the ex things should improve although Im still sad and scared of being alone. If its not wise to start a new relationship until at least a year sober then ive got a long time to work on myself.
I expect the cravings will increase again once I feel better having put it back into my system. I know im not going to sleep well for a while. Just going back to the bottle for 3 days has caused me to lose alot. ITS NOT WORTH IT. I must reread this when I think about drinking. I dont think I could drink today if someone paid me - far too queasy.
Looking forward to day 2, anything is better than day 1.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 148
Hope you all are having a great weekend!
Stayed up late with friends playing board games last night, but only drank tea
Roommate & friends have a bloody mary bar going on downstairs, I went for a run instead and will be eating some eggs soon. Not even tempted to drink and feels pretty good! Have a good one errybody
Stayed up late with friends playing board games last night, but only drank tea
Roommate & friends have a bloody mary bar going on downstairs, I went for a run instead and will be eating some eggs soon. Not even tempted to drink and feels pretty good! Have a good one errybody
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 267
Thanks for sharing PS.
I'm sure it was tough to be that honest with yourself and with us but we're here for support.
To be honest I'm starting to lose my motivation and in a weird way it helps to hear that giving in doesn't make the problems go away.
I'm sure it was tough to be that honest with yourself and with us but we're here for support.
To be honest I'm starting to lose my motivation and in a weird way it helps to hear that giving in doesn't make the problems go away.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
I had a lovely weekend and I'm feeling more and more like a non-drinker. I hope this continues...
I'm thinking alot about higher power stuff and handing my drinking over to this power. Its really helping especially as I'm less burdened by it all and trust that its going to work out step by step.
I need these good times because I'm very self-critical when I slip.
Best wishes to everyone in May!! We're in this together and the support means so much as drinking can be solitary and lonely. So at least in recovery we are reaching out to one another.
I'm thinking alot about higher power stuff and handing my drinking over to this power. Its really helping especially as I'm less burdened by it all and trust that its going to work out step by step.
I need these good times because I'm very self-critical when I slip.
Best wishes to everyone in May!! We're in this together and the support means so much as drinking can be solitary and lonely. So at least in recovery we are reaching out to one another.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Idaho
Posts: 87
Hi everyone.
Pumpkin,
I wish I could be a normal drinker too. I cant. I am powerless. Step one sometimes needs to be reinforced a few times before in sinks in...for me anyway. I realize I cant do it by myself. Thats why Im here. Im glad your here too.
Citylights,
I had to put down my cat that was 17 yrs old. It was very sad. Now My 15 yr. dog has cancer and I have to put her down. Its rough because they become family. But then to have your father in ICU... you must be going thru hell. I can relate somewhat to your pain. Ive lost friends and family (both grandfathers) because of alcohol. 3 weeks ago we buried my drinking buddy. Ive been sober since. Stay strong. I will say a prayer for you.
Hang in there Class of May. Unity equals strength.
Pumpkin,
I wish I could be a normal drinker too. I cant. I am powerless. Step one sometimes needs to be reinforced a few times before in sinks in...for me anyway. I realize I cant do it by myself. Thats why Im here. Im glad your here too.
Citylights,
I had to put down my cat that was 17 yrs old. It was very sad. Now My 15 yr. dog has cancer and I have to put her down. Its rough because they become family. But then to have your father in ICU... you must be going thru hell. I can relate somewhat to your pain. Ive lost friends and family (both grandfathers) because of alcohol. 3 weeks ago we buried my drinking buddy. Ive been sober since. Stay strong. I will say a prayer for you.
Hang in there Class of May. Unity equals strength.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 140
Thanks 3steeds, I really appreciate the kind words and prayers. And I am sorry to hear about your cat/dog--they are definitely family.
What's really hard is that my family has kept this secret, my father is drinking in hiding or when we aren't around, late at night, alone, and even now, my mother doesn't want to talk about it, and says that I shouldn't bring it up to him, he's too ashamed. So is it better to die than to bring it out in the open? The good thing is that he seems to be improving and he is being medically detoxed, so if he comes through this OK, he will have a foundation of sobriety. He just needs to acknowledge the problem or else he will die. It's very painful to watch, and as I say, gives me new resolve even though of course the way I deal with things this difficult is by drinking. BUt not today.
Thanks again for the support.
What's really hard is that my family has kept this secret, my father is drinking in hiding or when we aren't around, late at night, alone, and even now, my mother doesn't want to talk about it, and says that I shouldn't bring it up to him, he's too ashamed. So is it better to die than to bring it out in the open? The good thing is that he seems to be improving and he is being medically detoxed, so if he comes through this OK, he will have a foundation of sobriety. He just needs to acknowledge the problem or else he will die. It's very painful to watch, and as I say, gives me new resolve even though of course the way I deal with things this difficult is by drinking. BUt not today.
Thanks again for the support.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 224
Hi guys.
Wow. Some sad stuff on here today. I am really glad we are all here to support each other.
I think we should all repeat day 1 as many times as it takes. Don't sell ourselves short. We all deserve to change for ourselves.
I too had an alcoholic father in the hospital recently. He drank openly, but there is no chance of him stopping. He has many esophageal problems secondary to his life of being drunk. It is scary business. I too used that as an excuse for my last bender. It is such a flimsy excuse: to drink to not be like the drunks we're afraid of being? So odd.
I am sad to hear about the loss of pets : (
I love my cats, and would be devastated if something happened to them.
For the record: I would never fry my cats
I had to try to get a smile out of Class of May before I signed out.
Love you all.
Wow. Some sad stuff on here today. I am really glad we are all here to support each other.
I think we should all repeat day 1 as many times as it takes. Don't sell ourselves short. We all deserve to change for ourselves.
I too had an alcoholic father in the hospital recently. He drank openly, but there is no chance of him stopping. He has many esophageal problems secondary to his life of being drunk. It is scary business. I too used that as an excuse for my last bender. It is such a flimsy excuse: to drink to not be like the drunks we're afraid of being? So odd.
I am sad to hear about the loss of pets : (
I love my cats, and would be devastated if something happened to them.
For the record: I would never fry my cats
I had to try to get a smile out of Class of May before I signed out.
Love you all.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Mountains of W.N.C.
Posts: 198
Originally Posted by erikm02 
Hope you all are having a great weekend!
Stayed up late with friends playing board games last night, but only drank tea
Roommate & friends have a bloody mary bar going on downstairs, I went for a run instead and will be eating some eggs soon. Not even tempted to drink and feels pretty good! Have a good one errybody
Stayed up late with friends playing board games last night, but only drank tea
Roommate & friends have a bloody mary bar going on downstairs, I went for a run instead and will be eating some eggs soon. Not even tempted to drink and feels pretty good! Have a good one errybody
I passed on posting yesterday as it was what I would assume to be a "normal" day, other than Dinner with my parents it was nothing special.
This morning I woke early all bright eyed & bushy tailed, so I picked up my fishing pole for the first time in a year & hit a favorite hole. Was a beautiful morning to be out & I caught the second largest Brooke Trout of my fishing career. Finding my pole turned out to be great diversion & is something that I really enjoy doing, but let it fall to the wayside along with many other things.
The weight loss tapered off after shedding seven pounds, but a really good nights sleep still alludes me. Otherwise I'm hanging in there & spend a lot of time reflecting on poor decisions that I'm determined not to repeat.
For those who had a rough go this weekend, glad your posting & my thoughts are with you.
I wish all a brighter tomorrow!
So ends day eight & my first weekend without a drink in twenty years, thank you to everyone here at SR for, well for everything!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 400
Concor, that is wonderful. Glad you had a nice day.
Welcome to the new May folks!
Marria, glad to hear you are doing well!
I will be away from the computer for a few days, but I promise to come back strong!
This is a wonderfully active group. Thanks for all your posts and encouraging words to one another.
Welcome to the new May folks!
Marria, glad to hear you are doing well!
I will be away from the computer for a few days, but I promise to come back strong!
This is a wonderfully active group. Thanks for all your posts and encouraging words to one another.
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