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Old 03-30-2011, 10:15 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Hi everyone.

I don't know how I got to this stage in my life....but alcohol addiction has been a long slow road and an insidious one.

Gone are the days when I would drink to have fun and to boost my confidence amongst people, today i often drink alone or with my husband behind closed doors. Today i seem to drink to alleviate stress and anxiety or to make me feel happier. I often drink until i pass out. I am then sick for a day or two and then have another night of binging.

I've just relocated to a new city where I have no social contacts and I don't work. The loneliness and the boredom is getting to me as my husband works long hours.

I've lost a lot of friends over the years as I'm not a "nice" drunk and strangely I've become increasingly socially phobic as the years have rolled by. This I don't understand.

Now reached the stage where i need a life style change. I need to stop the drinking completely as I know I can't control it any more. I hope that this site will help me in my endeavour.
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Old 03-30-2011, 10:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome Chris...this is a great place to find support!
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Old 03-30-2011, 10:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Oh I understand....I moved to the prairie from the east coast 6 years ago. I knew not a soul. The change of atmosphere worked for a short time. It wasn't long before I was back to my own tricks. But I spent alot of time getting in touch with my spirituality. Its funny how things happen...because when I got to the point that I entered rehab I already had that inner strength to help me thru it all. I was ready and I was successful.
Peace.
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Old 03-30-2011, 10:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome!!!
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Old 03-30-2011, 10:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Your story sounds like the same slippery slope I slide down, started out harmless enough so I thought but ended up with a big problem. I'm glad you found this site. Welcome!
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Old 03-30-2011, 02:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
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welcome Chris12

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Old 03-30-2011, 02:34 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to the family.
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Old 03-30-2011, 02:47 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR! Glad you are here.
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Old 03-30-2011, 02:56 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 03-30-2011, 02:57 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Welcome Chris! This is a great place for support, glad you are with us
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome to the forum - glad you're wanting to get sober. I remember the anxiety and social avoidance so well...... much of it went away after I stopped drinking.

We understand what you're going through, so keep reading and posting - you can do it!:ghug3
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Welcome!

I understand where you're coming from completely. I drank while trying to abstain for many years. My life was miserable, even when I drnak. It got to the point where I didn't even know why I drank. Then I figured it out: I'm an alcoholic.

Maybe you can get some help? A counselor? AA? Anything that'll help.

The first drink is the one that kills me. In fact, I've never had just one drink in my life.
I'm now over fourteen months sober, and living life again. I wish the same for you.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:37 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Welcome Chris. That was the stage I was at when I decided to quit. It was no longer fun or relaxing - just a living hell. A rollercoaster ride I couldn't get off, and had no idea where it would end.

I made it, though, and now have over 3 yrs. due in part to the people here who supported me and convinced me that I could do it. I was so scared when I started out, and my feelings were so raw - but when I realized I was no longer alone I began to feel the burden lifted from me. I finally had people who understood me, and weren't shocked at where I'd been.

Please stay and tell us more of your story - we are pulling for you chris!
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Old 03-30-2011, 06:05 PM   #14 (permalink)
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im new to this site Im glad im here I cant seem to get thru day one I want to but, somehow I mess it up. I have been going to AA for three months and cant get over the hump and let go. fear I suppose. Im not gonna give up but, Im frustrated
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Old 03-30-2011, 06:10 PM   #15 (permalink)
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welcome to you too meatmn

You'll find so much support here - it really made the difference for me - hope it will for you too

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Old 03-30-2011, 06:18 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Chris,

At the end of my drinking, two and a half years ago, it was the isolation that scared me as much as anything else. I'm over 50, and all I could see was the rest of my life (however long it might be) stretching out ahead of me with my world shrinking by the minute. I rarely left the house except for work and to go out to buy cigarettes and booze. And I always had to plan those trips so I wouldn't drive drunk.

Horrible way to live.

Being sober is so FREEING. Don't be surprised if at first you feel at loose ends and like you don't know what to do with yourself. It's kinda like letting an animal that has lived in a tiny cage for years and years, finally out. You will come to appreciate the freedom, trust me.

Glad you are here.
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Old 03-30-2011, 06:41 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR! I was amazed to discover how many people went through the exact same thing; a slow, insidious transformation occurred until one day I looked around and realized I had become isolated socially, and my whole life revolved around spending my evenings drinking.

It wasn't easy to stop that madness, but I'm so grateful I did. SR has been a huge part of that for me!
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Old 03-31-2011, 11:48 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Hi everyone.

Thank you so much for your supportive replies.

It's sad to think that there are so many of us having similar experiences. I feel realy ashamed about my isolation and lack of social support and beat myself up about it being a flaw in my personality. I can see though that a large part of it is this terrible destructive cycle I have got myself into.

I haven't had a drink for 3 nights now....and very stressed yesterday so very pleased that I didn't drink. Im very anxious at the moment but sober and better able to stressful events in my life.

IT"S TIME!!!!!
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Old 03-31-2011, 12:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hi Chris12, welcome to SR. I drank to be social and wound up being a hermit, the more I drank the more I pushed people away, heck I didn't even want to be around myself. On the surface my life is still the same as when I drank, still live alone, in same house, same job, etc. but everything has changed; I found myself and I like who I found.
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Old 03-31-2011, 12:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Hi Chris and meatmn1, glad you found us. Welcome
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