Hi everyone.
Thank you so much for your supportive replies.
It's sad to think that there are so many of us having similar experiences. I feel realy ashamed about my isolation and lack of social support and beat myself up about it being a flaw in my personality. I can see though that a large part of it is this terrible destructive cycle I have got myself into.
I haven't had a drink for 3 nights now....and very stressed yesterday so very pleased that I didn't drink. Im very anxious at the moment but sober and better able to stressful events in my life.
IT"S TIME!!!!!