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Old 08-02-2010, 04:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Anybody out there


I took my last four 10 mg hydrocodone this morning at nine. I'm already feeling like crap. My children are watching Nickelodeon in the room next to me, and noone knows....and I can't tell anyone because I know everyone in this freaking town. I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to quit spending money I don't have. I'm ready to not let this run my life. I'm ready to start running again. I feel like crying. I'm scared. I'm scared of not sleeping tomorrow night. I'm scared of having to go to work tomorrow with my legs and back hurting. I'm scared of yelling at my children because I'm angry and I can't control it tomorrow, and the next day. I've though about driving to my mother's house, and digging through her cabinets and seeing if I can find something....but I'm not going to....because I'm done...and it makes me sick that I'm even considering it. I'm scared of tomorrow, and Wednesday. I don't know when the feeling will start to get better, so I don't even have a day to look forward to....I just have pain and sleeplessness to look forward to. I don't know where else to turn. Is anyone up...anyone out there?
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Old 08-02-2010, 04:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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We're here. I don't have any experience with opiates (I'm even assuming that hydrocodone is an opiate). I'm an alchie, but I'm sure someone will be along soon who can be more helpful. Are you married? Do you live alone with your kids? Is there anyone who can watch you kids (your mom) for a couple of days while you go through the withdrawal? Can you take your kids to your mom's and then go to the ER? Sorry, but I'm just not knowledgeable about drugs.
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Old 08-02-2010, 04:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hey Austingirl,

I think its great you are done, and we are all here to support you. You are doing a very brave thing.

How long have you been addicted? Do you have any support? I don't know much about hydrocordone, but at least with alcohol we say the worst day sober is better than the best day drunk.

Rechin out to the SR community is a good start...I'm sending positive thoughts your way!
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Old 08-02-2010, 04:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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No. Just the children and I. I started crying here at my laptop when you posted. Thank you, it feels strange and lovely getting this off my chest. I'm really scared. If opiates aren't your crutch, then you wouldn't know about the pain of not having them, and the fatigue. It's what I'm most frightened of. Thank you for replying.
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Old 08-02-2010, 04:48 PM   #5 (permalink)
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You've picked your forum well. I'm an ex-boozer here for your moral support, but there should be some people along shortly with the experience to really help.

Good for you for reaching out!

Murray
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Old 08-02-2010, 04:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR AustinGirl
You should also check out our substance abuse forum as well

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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Old 08-02-2010, 05:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Austingirl.

Try not to fret to much. Stay as calm as possible. Did you seek any kind of medical advice? I think that might be the way to go. I've heard getting
off the hydro can be a bit uncomfortable. Any friends or family around? Don't know how much you've been taking but I think that's a factor when going through withdrawal.

Sorry I can't offer much help, alkie here too.

Best Wishes to You :ghug3
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Old 08-02-2010, 05:12 PM   #8 (permalink)
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We're (I'm) here. Assume you have these pills by prescription but would understand if you managed to get them otherwise. Have you a physician to help you through withdrawal? It's a good thing to think about doing this. What you have decided to do takes guts, courage and willpower but wow is it ever worth it! You bet it is! We're here to help you. Contact as many as you can who have experience with withdrawal from painkillers. I'm an alcoholic and I know how tough insomnia can be.But it gets better- used to take me about three to four days. Been sober now for 21 plus years. Good luck. Keep in touch with us and tell us how it's going.
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Old 08-02-2010, 05:12 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Definitely check out the Substance Abuse Forum here. You need people who know exactly what you're going through. And consider seeing a doctor for help with withdrawing.

I only know the exhaustion and insomnia related to alcohol withdrawal, but I think all of us alcoholics and addicts have a lot in common, too. Withdrawal is extremely uncomfortable and we have to find a way to get through the first couple of days before things start getting better. But I'll bet you that everyone who has done it will tell you it's worth every minute to get to the other side.

Just want to reach through cyberspace and give you a hug. You deserve a better life than this, and I'm SO glad you're here!!
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Old 08-02-2010, 05:21 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Thank you all do much. I'm finding myself coming back to check my computer every few minutes between cooking dinner and trying to maintain normalcy here. I'm in the service industry and do not have insurance, or expendable income, so a doctor is out. I will have to do this on my own. Thank you so much for your continued support.
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Old 08-02-2010, 05:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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there are plenty of ways to get professional help, free.

suggest you not do this on your own.....
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Old 08-02-2010, 05:46 PM   #12 (permalink)
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You CAN do this. You're a strong mama, and you can do this for yourself and your beautiful children. It won't be easy, but the physical withdrawal IS temporary. If you get through it (and you CAN do it!) it will be so worth it, maybe the best thing you have done in your life.
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Old 08-02-2010, 06:01 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Okay, I've posted in substance abuse. I am starting to figure this out. I'm hoping to have a pretty strong support system in place before the morning when it gets hard. Thank you guys
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Old 08-02-2010, 06:07 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Welcome, Austingirl!

We do understand how scarey and hard this is for you.

I hope that you keep reading and posting.
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Old 08-02-2010, 06:11 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I can't speak to your problem - 'cause I have my own, lol - but we're all out here with you so you're never alone in this.
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:11 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Thank you...it's so easy to feel alone, especially when the pain sets in. Dinner is done, and the children are winding down. I'm nervous about tomorrow....but I think I will just keep checking here, and reading and rereading your posts when things get hard....and they will
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:30 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hey, Austin,

I'm another dang drunk, lol, but believe me, withdrawal from alcohol is plenty painful and scary, too. You DO need to talk to others about withdrawing from your specific drug, so be sure to ask a lot of questions over at the substance abuse forum.

I don't know how physically dangerous hydrocodone withdrawal might be, but discomfort, anxiety, fear, can all be gotten through. It helps to be with others who really "get it". Can you possibly have someone stay with the kids tomorrow so you can go to an N/A meeting? It might make you feel less alone.

We've all been where you are, even though our "drug" might have been different.

Hang in there.
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:35 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Hi Austin

Another drinker here but I just wanted to post anyway. I know that sometimes it is just good to know someone's listening. You can get through this and we are all here to help.
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:40 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hey Austin. Another voice to say that I care about you too. I am a drinker but I understand fear.
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:52 PM   #20 (permalink)
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When I've gone through withdrawal (either for opiates or alcohol) I used to remind myself that every second of pain and discomfort was one less second of pain and discomfort. That each second, I was getting better. Each second, the poison was leaving my body, and my brain and nervous system was learning to do without.

That withdrawal was the body healing itself. Can you think of yourself as healing?

Conversely, I reminded myself that if I put anything back in my body (drugs or alcohol) I would immediately stop that progress, and hit "reset." And I would be forced to endure it again, and probably worse.

Yes, the lure of the short-term relief is maddening. But all it does is delay the pain, which must be paid.

So why not now? Pay it all, NOW. This time.
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