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another new sobriety date

Old 03-26-2010, 02:48 PM
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another new sobriety date

it's been a while since i've been here. i've had so many new sobriety dates, damage control, and continued waste and selfishness.

I'll try again. last use 3-25-10.

I'll stay in today; say the serenity prayer in my head. listen much more than I talk.

I don't have many words in me. This using is so old. it's not fun and it don't feel good. but it numbs my fear, for a little while, and then the next day the fear is still there; often it's a little more.

i keep looking for things outside of me to fulfill me--to make me happy. but happiness and peace and love is an inside job; i got the knowledge but not the action.

i will take the right actions today.
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Old 03-26-2010, 02:51 PM
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ks,

I've been wondering how you were doing. I'm glad you're back!

Love,

Lenina
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Old 03-26-2010, 03:03 PM
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Gosh, Ksplash, I could have written those same words myself. The endless fear! But, you know what, you can take the leap of faith that you need to recover.

I'm glad you're back.
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Old 03-26-2010, 03:03 PM
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Welcome back Ksplash

What's your plan?
D
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Old 03-26-2010, 03:04 PM
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Glad you came back!! Always good to see you. I wish you much success.
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Old 03-26-2010, 04:24 PM
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Welcome back!

Any new plans on your recovery program?
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:05 PM
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Welcome back!
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:11 PM
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Welcome back KS you can do this, we are all rooting for you!
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Old 03-27-2010, 08:29 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Good to see you here again.....
All my best as you start fresh on your journey
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Old 03-27-2010, 09:49 AM
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Old 03-27-2010, 12:54 PM
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Welcome back, ((Kslplash))! Thanks for the reminder that going back out there is something I really don't wanna do.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 03-27-2010, 02:04 PM
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i appreciate the responses. as far as a plan; you know i really don't have a plan. I don't even know if i'll stay clean to be honest. it's important for me to stay in today, go to meetings and not have too much time alone. those are things i can do. I also need to write everyday (which i haven't done in a long time), and also meditate twice a day (which i haven't done in a long time), and pray (which i've been very inconsistent with).

there are other things but those are enough for now. i need to keep it simple that's for sure
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Old 03-28-2010, 02:36 PM
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Day 3. I'm paying attention to my mind chatter and noticing how much i talk bad to and about myself. I don't feel good about myself right now. i'm at the AA club and will be going to a meeting later.

i'm going to check out the forum a bit
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