another new sobriety date
 

it's been a while since i've been here. i've had so many new sobriety dates, damage control, and continued waste and selfishness.

I'll try again. last use 3-25-10.

I'll stay in today; say the serenity prayer in my head. listen much more than I talk.

I don't have many words in me. This using is so old. it's not fun and it don't feel good. but it numbs my fear, for a little while, and then the next day the fear is still there; often it's a little more.

i keep looking for things outside of me to fulfill me--to make me happy. but happiness and peace and love is an inside job; i got the knowledge but not the action.

i will take the right actions today.

ks,

I've been wondering how you were doing. I'm glad you're back!

Love,

Lenina

Gosh, Ksplash, I could have written those same words myself. The endless fear! But, you know what, you can take the leap of faith that you need to recover.

I'm glad you're back.

Welcome back Ksplash :)

What's your plan?
D

Glad you came back!! Always good to see you. I wish you much success. :grouphug:

Welcome back!

Any new plans on your recovery program?

Welcome back!

Welcome back KS :ring you can do this, we are all rooting for you!

Good to see you here again.....:hug:
All my best as you start fresh on your journey

:welcome

Welcome back, ((Kslplash))! Thanks for the reminder that going back out there is something I really don't wanna do.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

i appreciate the responses. as far as a plan; you know i really don't have a plan. I don't even know if i'll stay clean to be honest. it's important for me to stay in today, go to meetings and not have too much time alone. those are things i can do. I also need to write everyday (which i haven't done in a long time), and also meditate twice a day (which i haven't done in a long time), and pray (which i've been very inconsistent with).

there are other things but those are enough for now. i need to keep it simple that's for sure

Day 3. I'm paying attention to my mind chatter and noticing how much i talk bad to and about myself. I don't feel good about myself right now. i'm at the AA club and will be going to a meeting later.

i'm going to check out the forum a bit