Want Everything to Be Better...NOW
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 256
Originally Posted by redwine 
And I learned this: when I didn't want things, when I was happy enough with the wine, when the wine had dulled the pain a little, nothing happened.
Wanting is painful, sometimes; but without the wanting, nothing happens.
This is a cycle I repeated for years.
It is better to have the pain of wanting, than the drunken no-want-I'm-fine feeling. Because without the want, nothing happens. Nothing happened for me for ages. All because of the pain of the want. I got rid of the want with wine and ... no want, no happen.
It has been hard for me so see this about my use of wine.
Midwest - for now, just concentrate on being open to the experience of recovery. I always worry a bit when people say they "hope" they will not drink...as if some force outside the self will make this determination. It's up to you and only you to decide whether or not you will drink. And what you're willing to do to protect your new found sobriety. I'm not trying to be hard on you...just trying to point out that if you continue to think "I hope I won't drink" vs. "I will NOT drink, no matter what," you are already setting yourself up to give yourself permission for a relapse.
How do I know this? I did it to myself in all kinds of ways in the years before I finally stopped for good.
Take the bull by the horns. Make your destiny. I know you can...you've already started. You've already DONE it for several days. The only day you really have is this one day. So no matter when it is, just don't drink for this one day, and soon the days will add up, and your life will open up like a flower.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by Fluffhead72
It's posts like this that scare the crap out of me...and there are so many similar stories revealed by so many people every day.
I know it's defeatist thinking to worry about more than TODAY, but that's part of the challenge for me...knowing the recitivism rate, knowing how many people reach these huge milestones (months, weeks, years) and yet still end up sacrificing their sobriety, their health, everything they've worked & struggled so hard for, by giving in to the alcoholic urge.
Never has "one day at a time" made more sense.
I know it's defeatist thinking to worry about more than TODAY, but that's part of the challenge for me...knowing the recitivism rate, knowing how many people reach these huge milestones (months, weeks, years) and yet still end up sacrificing their sobriety, their health, everything they've worked & struggled so hard for, by giving in to the alcoholic urge.
Never has "one day at a time" made more sense.
My higher power doesn't want me to suffer so as long as I'm aware of my attitude the doors of willingness are always open. The steps do work if your willing to let them. "no matter what, picking up is not an option"
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