Another Newbie here!

Old 03-06-2010, 02:53 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Fighting my Demons
EllaBella's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: London, UK
Posts: 60
Welcome Emmy, I also do it 'on my own' for now, 15 days sober. What helps me great is this forum and writing, kind of self-(re)discovery process that I am going through. Wish you the best and remember "You have failed only when you quit trying. Until then, you're still in the act of progression. So, never quit trying and you'll never be a failure”
Tommy Kelley
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Old 03-06-2010, 04:39 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by Emmy69 View Post
Thanks HPS, those are all good points. Your reply along with many others give strong arguments for AA and probably at some point I'll try it. One other concern I have I hesitate to bring up which is confidentiality. I know that it's strictly against the rules for attendees to ever discuss who else attends but...... I live in a small town. I may be paranoid about it but like I said I live in a small town and I don't want other people knowing my problems unless I want to tell them.

Hi and welcome to SR.

I work the AA 12 step program and I believe in God. I do not go to church. I don't think you will ever find me in a church (although never say never) as that type of God is not something I can relate to. I thank God, that AA is not religious!

You have have your own concept of God. There are lots of AAs, who won't even mention God because the term doesn't work for them - they will talk about their Higher Power. Or in other words a power higher than themselves. All you need to ask yourself is, are you the greatest power there is? If not, then surely you can believe in a power greater than yourself.

There are AAs who also go to church but I have also heard them share that they are lonely in church but in AA they never feel alone. Being with people who understand exactly what this disease is that we suffer from is very important.

Steps 4 through to 9 are the ones which help us to remove the things which block us from our higher power and enable us to recover from alcoholism. I have learned so much from working these steps about me and how I think and why I do the things that I do which I would never have learned with counselling/therapy.

A lot of AAs have tried this route and even if they found it useful, they still needed AA. AA has people working its program from all walks of life and that includes counsellors and therapists. Why would they be working the 12 step program if counselling and therapy could solve all the problems?

If you do choose to go to therapy, I would suggest you research the therapist and find one who has a good reputation for working with alcoholism.

As to sharing in a meeting, you don't have to. Even if you do, you don't have to share everything about yourself. We share our experience, strength and hope and we share our story in a "general" way. Yes, some people share everything in the rooms and that is fine but I share the private things in my life only with my trusted sponsor.

Many are reluctant to share and take quite some time before they feel able to talk in front of people but when they do, they are relieved and excited about how they feel. Sharing is very powerful.

Do you ever get out of town? If you do, why not try some meetings in an area where you know you are not going to know the people.

However you choose to recover, please keep posting here at SR. It's a fantastic resource.
take care.
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Old 03-06-2010, 03:51 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
wichitalineman's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Seattle!
Posts: 211
Hi Emmy,

Welcome to SR! I am glad you are here!

You have gotten some great advice here. I'd say give AA a try sooner than later. If you are too worried about seeing people you know in your town, you could always try another someone close-ish to you, but as previously mentioned here, I don't think you have a ton to worry about with people in the meetings spilling the beans. Talking face to face with people is just an additional resource you can add to your list of resources, along with SR and any counseling you arrange. Every little bit helps!

I'll let everyone else's advice stand on it's own; I just want to throw out there that the word God and every iteration of it is used by many different people in virtually unlimited ways... too many to mention. My point is do not let the word God psyche you out from doing something that will completely revolutionize and improve your life in every way. No one is going to force you to read bible verses and pray or anything like that. It would be very unfortunate to let the word God get in the way of your recovery. When you hear the word God come up in discussion, just substitute the God/higher power of your choice. This week, my higher power is Cherry Coca Cola. Because I just made that up. Because it is fun to say. It's up to you!

Welcome to SR! I am looking forward to hearing more from you, keep posting!
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Old 03-07-2010, 06:25 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 73
Thank you all so much for your support and information. This site (and the links it provides) is so rich in resources for folks like me it's amazing. I've read alot more about the 12 step program, found a couple local counselors that specialize in addiction recoveries and really feel much more "empowered" to be successful. I'm actually looking forward to next week and making some contacts to talk to. Wow, I never thought I'd say that.

Thanks SR and all the public (and private) advice and support I've been getting. Tomorrow is day 7!
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Old 03-07-2010, 10:11 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 100
A few things;
1. It is easy to quit drinking but it is extremely hard to stay sober.
2. It is easy to admit that we are alcoholics but it is extrmely hard to accept it.
3. It is easy to want to change but it is extremely hard to actually change.

I could go on and on, but without AA I would still be out there stopping for 3 weeks at a time and starting again. Admitting I was a drunk but somehow drinking again because I had no tools to help me to stay sober. Why do this alone when there is a better way. I suggest you go to AA and don't think too much about anything other than not taking the first drink and listening to people with the exact same stories as yours. I was blown away to find that these people could relate to my problems. I also thought I was different and alone in the world, but that was not the case. Do yourself a huge favor and give it a try and tell the group about your reservations about AA. They will not be offended because probably 75% of them had the same issues coming in.

Best of luck and keep posting!
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