Valentines Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 48
Valentines Day
So I won't bore everyone with the details but I am single this valentines day. It is the first time in about 6 years. If this was occurring pre-sobriety I would be getting **** face drunk on something evil with my single friends bitterly lamenting about life and love.
I have to work so I really only have the evening and am not planning on doing anything I suppose. If I did have the day off I would go to the range but that's not possible.
So bearing in mind I did not start this to hear cutesy love stories, what are all my fellow single people doing this valentines day?
I have to work so I really only have the evening and am not planning on doing anything I suppose. If I did have the day off I would go to the range but that's not possible.
So bearing in mind I did not start this to hear cutesy love stories, what are all my fellow single people doing this valentines day?
On my path.
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Home
Posts: 330
Well...we always give our kids a small stack of red/heart things like socks, pencil holders, candies, notebooks, t-shirts and undies with breakfast.
My husband and I are lucky enough to have everything we need so we give back in honor of each other. This year we are each donating a cow to a family in a third world country.
Too cutesy?
55438
My husband and I are lucky enough to have everything we need so we give back in honor of each other. This year we are each donating a cow to a family in a third world country.
Too cutesy?
55438
Last edited by 55438; 02-11-2010 at 10:48 PM. Reason: typo
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I do not celebrate Valentines Day.
Luckily neither does my partner LOL.
I get a little annoyed at the Hallmark Holidays - 'specially this one... I think it puts pressure on a lot of people, single or not.
There'll always be people to chill with here tho
D
Luckily neither does my partner LOL.
I get a little annoyed at the Hallmark Holidays - 'specially this one... I think it puts pressure on a lot of people, single or not.
There'll always be people to chill with here tho
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Glad to be single this valentines! Since getting sober it is amazing to see how i always needed to be with someone, dont get me wrong in time i will want to do all the romantic stuff and i love these times of the year...but being with someone for the sake of being with someone is definitely over for me.
Hope everyone is buying their spouses dozen red roses, out for meal, sparkly gift, night of passionate love making as i am not this year...mind you when the **** did i ever do that anyway lol more like send dozen red roses to her work, organise meal, buy gift, start drinking, leave gift at home, drink instead of eat and cue massive argument by some crappy making up sex...shudder...
Like i said glad to be single at this stage of sobriety!
Dee at least make her a cup of tea or something to token celebrate the day
Hope everyone is buying their spouses dozen red roses, out for meal, sparkly gift, night of passionate love making as i am not this year...mind you when the **** did i ever do that anyway lol more like send dozen red roses to her work, organise meal, buy gift, start drinking, leave gift at home, drink instead of eat and cue massive argument by some crappy making up sex...shudder...
Like i said glad to be single at this stage of sobriety!
Dee at least make her a cup of tea or something to token celebrate the day
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
My sponsees that are single do not even worry about Valentines day if they are in early sobriety & single, they are way to busy focusing on the one thing that could make thier future Valentines days possible............... thier sobriety!
Me????? Well I gotta keep momma happy! LOL
Me????? Well I gotta keep momma happy! LOL
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
I hate marketing promoted money grabbing holidays and Valentines is on the top of the list.
Christmas is a close second.
I used to like Scrooge until he turned into a softee.
In Ontario Canada we have a statuatory holiday around mid February called Family Day bought to you by the provincial government to get votes at the expense of businesses.
I don't like that either. I think people should work 5 days a week every week and not clutter up my gym on these unproductive days off.
Next thing you know the Grinch will give back Christmas to all the Whos in Whoville.
Christmas is a close second.
I used to like Scrooge until he turned into a softee.
In Ontario Canada we have a statuatory holiday around mid February called Family Day bought to you by the provincial government to get votes at the expense of businesses.
I don't like that either. I think people should work 5 days a week every week and not clutter up my gym on these unproductive days off.
Next thing you know the Grinch will give back Christmas to all the Whos in Whoville.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Taz, although I think your grinch is adorable....I'm another Valentine Day non-fan.
Some single people wish they had sweethearts to flower them with chocolates. Many married people wish their spouses would show an interest.
I've been married over 30 years to my best friend. We don't do Valentines. And, I love him more than Hallmark could ever guess.
But, as the OP said they did, I used it as an excuse to bury myself in a beer bottle. I also used Presidents Day, Hat Day and Long Toe Nail Day.
Some single people wish they had sweethearts to flower them with chocolates. Many married people wish their spouses would show an interest.
I've been married over 30 years to my best friend. We don't do Valentines. And, I love him more than Hallmark could ever guess.
But, as the OP said they did, I used it as an excuse to bury myself in a beer bottle. I also used Presidents Day, Hat Day and Long Toe Nail Day.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,636
Whether I have a partner or not I always give everyone living at my house at the time something for Valentine's Day. I get gift bags and cards and then put a gift (nothing big -- maybe like a t-shirt or CD or earrings or a book, etc...), some candy (something different for each person, depending on what they like) and the card in people's gift bags and put them at their place at the kitchen table during the night, so that, when they get up on Valentine's morning, the stuff is there for them.
This year it's just me, my mom, and my partner.....but in years past it has also included my kids and anyone else who's staying here (At various times we've had people early in recovery, women escaping abusive relationships, and/or friends of my kids who were in town for special programs/events or just needed to get away from home for a bit.).
Yeah, it's cutesy -- but it's not a "love" story in the stereotypical sense. My family tends to really get into holidays....any reason to decorate a bit and to show the people with whom God has graced our lives that we care about them and recognize them for the blessings that they are is a good one, as far as I'm concerned.
...and none of this means that we don't so stuff for each other all the time either. I don't really get where this either/or mentality about holidays comes from. Sure, if you don't do anything for anybody any other time, then it's just hypocrisy to do something just because it's a holiday and it's expected or you're afraid you'll be guilted-out by someone if you don't...but if the feeling is real and sincere and acted-upon on a regular basis, that certainly doesn't mean it's not nice/fun/special/whatever to have a certain day to act on it more formally and more consciously.
freya
This year it's just me, my mom, and my partner.....but in years past it has also included my kids and anyone else who's staying here (At various times we've had people early in recovery, women escaping abusive relationships, and/or friends of my kids who were in town for special programs/events or just needed to get away from home for a bit.).
Yeah, it's cutesy -- but it's not a "love" story in the stereotypical sense. My family tends to really get into holidays....any reason to decorate a bit and to show the people with whom God has graced our lives that we care about them and recognize them for the blessings that they are is a good one, as far as I'm concerned.
...and none of this means that we don't so stuff for each other all the time either. I don't really get where this either/or mentality about holidays comes from. Sure, if you don't do anything for anybody any other time, then it's just hypocrisy to do something just because it's a holiday and it's expected or you're afraid you'll be guilted-out by someone if you don't...but if the feeling is real and sincere and acted-upon on a regular basis, that certainly doesn't mean it's not nice/fun/special/whatever to have a certain day to act on it more formally and more consciously.
freya
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 286
What am I doing for V-day?
Eating breakfast, going to meditation, going to the gym, making and eating dinner, check in to SR, watch a little tv (Amazing Race starts again), tea, then off the bed.
Valentine's Schmalentine's.
Eating breakfast, going to meditation, going to the gym, making and eating dinner, check in to SR, watch a little tv (Amazing Race starts again), tea, then off the bed.
Valentine's Schmalentine's.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 48
I liked to give my gf gifts at random times when I was with her. I also liked to make a gourmet dinner and surprise her with it. But she was so irregular with her schedule it didn't work. She would say she would be home at 6. So by 6 I had the swordfish cooked in a honey/teryaki/honey glaze served over wild rice and candles and the whole nine yards all ready to go. Sure enough by 8 she would still not be home, not answering the phone, and the food would be cold. Then I would eat it and pack the rest away for my lunch the next day.
That happened several times so I gave up on it.
I think I bought my gf a bong last year like two days before valentines day as an I love you present, maybe two years ago. Pretty sad but she loved it at the time.
I am hoping by improving my life through sobriety I can find someone who will appreciate me that i can lavish with love and tasty dishes of fishes.
That happened several times so I gave up on it.
I think I bought my gf a bong last year like two days before valentines day as an I love you present, maybe two years ago. Pretty sad but she loved it at the time.
I am hoping by improving my life through sobriety I can find someone who will appreciate me that i can lavish with love and tasty dishes of fishes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Good-bye Cupid, I'm not stupid.
I'm single right now too but even when I wasn't, I'd take putting the toilet seat down, taking out the garbage, and making me a simple cup of tea over $100 flower bouquets, over-priced Hallmark cards, and stuffed animals that turn into chew toys for my dogs.
Please no flames...just my anti-commercialized, single opinion...
I'm single right now too but even when I wasn't, I'd take putting the toilet seat down, taking out the garbage, and making me a simple cup of tea over $100 flower bouquets, over-priced Hallmark cards, and stuffed animals that turn into chew toys for my dogs.
Please no flames...just my anti-commercialized, single opinion...
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