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Old 01-31-2010, 05:02 PM
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Newbie Saying Hi

Hello all...I'm new to SB. I've been lurking for a week or two and decided to sign up and start posting.

It's only been a few days for me. It's a miracle I made it through the weekend.

Some of the following has been posted in a different forum:

I've been drinking non-stop since 1990. The longest I've been sober is about 45 or so days. My demon is the beer. I love the beer. I went through a beer with some vodka phase, but grew out of that. I pretty much have been walking through life drunk for 20 years now (really longer, but 20 is a nice even number).

To sum it up - I'm really a failure at life. Never been married. Never owned a house. Always was/is broke. I live in an attic apartment with no furniture, just a cheap couch and a broken tv. I spend most of my time at my girlfriends house (why she stays with me I'm not sure).

I used to sit around for hours in a bar trying to figure out exactly what day or event turned my life into a failure. It never dawned on me until recently it might be the alcohol. To be honest...I'm still not convinced that it's entirely the alcohol. I think other issues encompass my being. I think maybe I'm just broken or something. I believe there is something deeply wrong with me.

I have to stop drinking due to health concerns anyway. There not major, but it's time before they became a big deal. I think alcohol has effected me mentally more than physically. I'm depressed. I can't hold a thought

I've been reading about the 12 steps, but haven't attend a meeting yet. I'll probably go to some next week. I know one thing - I can't keep living like this.
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:09 PM
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Welcome!

I would suggest you attend a meeting as soon as possible, while it still sounds like a good idea.

There might be a chat meeting tonight, I'm not sure. But, a face to face meeting should probably be your first introduction anyway.

Please keep posting how you're doing. There's plenty of us who have experienced everything you're going Through.

Good luck!
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:14 PM
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bona fido dog-lover
 
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Welcome to SR! I'm glad you joined us. Lots of support and good info here. As far as you're being "a failure", I don't believe that anyone is a failure. I've felt that way a lot in my life but now I choose to believe Im here for a reason, even if I don't know the reason.

Lots of people have gotten and stayed sober with the help of AA. Try some meetings to see what they offer. There are other recovery programs too. Try until you find one you like. There are also people here who have gotten and stayed sober just using this site. Whatever way you choose to get sober just remember to take it one day at a time, and do it for yourself.

Good to see another Buckeye here!
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:20 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Hello again....

I just replied to your 1st post....please click
on the link/line below to see it

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2502466

Don't be concerned...many of us use several Forums
Good to see new member...
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:27 PM
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Thank you everyone. Thank you Carol. Didn't think I'd get a response so quick. I will update everyone with my progress.
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:33 PM
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Drk
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Originally Posted by mrfurley View Post
To sum it up - I'm really a failure at life.

I used to sit around for hours in a bar trying to figure out exactly what day or event turned my life into a failure.
I too suffer from the 'maybe I'm just a loser syndrome', but after quitting, I find I'm clear-headed enough to start changing my life.

You'll be pleasantly surprised at how much more motivated you'll feel after the booze is gone...
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Drk View Post
I too suffer from the 'maybe I'm just a loser syndrome', but after quitting, I find I'm clear-headed enough to start changing my life.

You'll be pleasantly surprised at how much more motivated you'll feel after the booze is gone...
That made me laugh out loud. Glad to talk with people who understand. I guess that is the thing. I've been in a haze for a long time.

I read somewhere that after a few months of sobriety, a mental shift occurs. It would be insane to think that after years of drinking my mental abilities (decision skills too) are still intact.

Something for me to think about.
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Old 01-31-2010, 06:27 PM
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We Do Recover
 
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Welcome to SR! Glad you are here.
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Old 01-31-2010, 07:14 PM
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Attitude of Gratitude
 
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Glad you took the plunge and decided to join. When I was drinking, I used to sit around wondering what was so wrong with me that I just can't have the one simple thing in life that I was searching for, happiness. I wasn't asking for a new car, a nice big house, a job making tons of money, I just wanted to be happy. Why couldn't I be happy?

It took me many years to realize that the drugs and alcohol were the problem, the reason that happiness had eluded me for so many years. When I surrendered, my life soon began to change for the better. No, I don't own a big house, drive a new car or any of that. To me, those things aren't that important. What is, is the happiness that I've finally found in myself. I owe part of that to AA because the Program and the people themselves showed me the way. I found a Sponsor, someone who had what I wanted in my Recovery, she helped me work the Steps and today, I am happy!

It's all One Day at A Time. I'm sure the Steps may look overwhelming, but they are One Step at A Time as well. If this fellow Buckeye can do it, you can too!

God Bless and hope to see you around here on the boards!
Judy
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Old 01-31-2010, 10:46 PM
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Don't resist, allow
 
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Hi and welcome.

It's impossible to see a way out of your current life while you are drinking but it can get better in ways you could never imagine.

I really hope that you do get to an AA meeting and read the experiences here from people working the 12 Steps about how their lives are so much better without the drink.
Take care.
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