Update: Back from my stay in the psych ward
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Somewhere along the Delaware River, Pennsylvania
Posts: 137
Update: Back from my stay in the psych ward
I thought when I got sober that life would be a beautiful bed of roses. I thought actually stopping drinking would be the hardest part.
I was so wrong.
I don't know how to deal with even mildly upsetting things because I have been numb for so long; I lack any kind of problem solving skill.
One day I just woke up and realized, "Wow, I have had a dramatic change in my lifestyle and I don't feel good at all. In fact, I feel really depressed."
The depression progressed to suicidal thoughts and my doctor directed me to go to the hospital, where I spent a night in the ER before a bed opened up in the "behavioral health" unit, as they like to call it. I met with numerous doctors and nurses, explained that I was in early sobriety and had been prone to depression for many years. The psychiatrist determined that I was too highly functional and insightful to need to be in a locked unit. So, I stayed only three days and was then transferred to an outpatient program known as Alteratives. I can go home every evening. Not such a bad deal.
Giving up alcohol is one thing; dealing with life sober is a whole other road. Not what I was expecting. Who knew?
I was so wrong.
I don't know how to deal with even mildly upsetting things because I have been numb for so long; I lack any kind of problem solving skill.
One day I just woke up and realized, "Wow, I have had a dramatic change in my lifestyle and I don't feel good at all. In fact, I feel really depressed."
The depression progressed to suicidal thoughts and my doctor directed me to go to the hospital, where I spent a night in the ER before a bed opened up in the "behavioral health" unit, as they like to call it. I met with numerous doctors and nurses, explained that I was in early sobriety and had been prone to depression for many years. The psychiatrist determined that I was too highly functional and insightful to need to be in a locked unit. So, I stayed only three days and was then transferred to an outpatient program known as Alteratives. I can go home every evening. Not such a bad deal.
Giving up alcohol is one thing; dealing with life sober is a whole other road. Not what I was expecting. Who knew?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 100,252
I'm sorry you're having such problems. Sober makes our lives simpler, not easier. Be kind to yourself. Early recovery can be a bumpy road but a day at a time you can get thru it. Please take good care of yourself. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
Yes, who knew. I'm finding new things out about myself and the workings of the world. I'd been drunk so long all I was was procuring booze, drinking it or recovering from it.
You have a lot of great things to look forward to.
I wish you well,
Ghost
You have a lot of great things to look forward to.
I wish you well,
Ghost
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,041
I am so proud of you for seeking help instead of feeding into the depression!!! It is really hard when we first stop drinking....life has a way of creeping up and biting us on the butt when we least expect it. 
Reaching out for help is a huge part of recovery, we don't have to go through anything alone....the saying "A problem shared, is a problem cut in half" is very valid...keep talking, better out than in!!
Cathy
Reaching out for help is a huge part of recovery, we don't have to go through anything alone....the saying "A problem shared, is a problem cut in half" is very valid...keep talking, better out than in!!Cathy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 62,373
How brave you are to be dealing with everything as well as you are, and to be seeking the help that you need!
You have done the right thing by getting help with your depression. I found the same thing, that stopping drinking was not the hard part. But, it gets easier and it's so worth it.
You have done the right thing by getting help with your depression. I found the same thing, that stopping drinking was not the hard part. But, it gets easier and it's so worth it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 213,274
I agree with Anna - that was a gutsy thing to do, LMW - and a good move to take your own welfare in hand.
Yeah it's the staying stopped - and the relearning who we are - that's the hard bit IMO...but it does get easier
I've never regretted my decision to get sober..I'm sure you won't either
D
Yeah it's the staying stopped - and the relearning who we are - that's the hard bit IMO...but it does get easier
I've never regretted my decision to get sober..I'm sure you won't either
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 52,360
I'm sorry for all you've had to go through. It is true, the intensity of being newly sober will lessen. I was a mess for months, and still keep changing and growing after 2 yrs. We were numb for a long time and have to learn to live again.
You're doing the right things to help yourself, and I'm sure it will pay off. I'm glad you're coming here to share how you feel - we all care.
You're doing the right things to help yourself, and I'm sure it will pay off. I'm glad you're coming here to share how you feel - we all care.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
Lostmyway, sorry to hear you have been going through the depression, but congratulations on making such wise and important choices! You chose:
1. Not to reach for that first drink.
2. A new way of dealing with your problems.
3. To reach out for help.
That takes a lot of courage and a lot of hard work! Telling us what you have been through is an inspiration.
1. Not to reach for that first drink.
2. A new way of dealing with your problems.
3. To reach out for help.
That takes a lot of courage and a lot of hard work! Telling us what you have been through is an inspiration.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I too am glad you are taking action in the right direction.
I know I learned the hard way that theres more to it than just setting the stuff down.
Keep working toward a better way.
I know I learned the hard way that theres more to it than just setting the stuff down.
Keep working toward a better way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Somewhere along the Delaware River, Pennsylvania
Posts: 137
Thank you all for your support. Support means the world to me. It is amazing that we are strangers - probably all very different from one another - and from so many different places, yet we are able to come together because we have all had the same struggles.
The ladies from my home group sent me a card signed by all of them when I was in the hospital. I cried like a baby.
Why I ever thought life was supposed to fit into a neat little package is beyond me. We all have our trials and tribulations. My trouble is learning how life can go on while I am dealing with them.
Again, thanks to all of you.
The ladies from my home group sent me a card signed by all of them when I was in the hospital. I cried like a baby.
Why I ever thought life was supposed to fit into a neat little package is beyond me. We all have our trials and tribulations. My trouble is learning how life can go on while I am dealing with them.
Again, thanks to all of you.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
SOBER SINCE DECEMBER 28, 2009!
I didn't know all those things you have expressed when I got sober either. It is difficult, painful, and confusing to realize such things about yourself but it is so worth it to work through them. You will be a much stronger person as a result, I promise you. Just keep going back!!!! You can do this!
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