Update: Back from my stay in the psych ward
I thought when I got sober that life would be a beautiful bed of roses. I thought actually stopping drinking would be the hardest part.
I was so wrong.
I don't know how to deal with even mildly upsetting things because I have been numb for so long; I lack any kind of problem solving skill.
One day I just woke up and realized, "Wow, I have had a dramatic change in my lifestyle and I don't feel good at all. In fact, I feel really depressed."
The depression progressed to suicidal thoughts and my doctor directed me to go to the hospital, where I spent a night in the ER before a bed opened up in the "behavioral health" unit, as they like to call it. I met with numerous doctors and nurses, explained that I was in early sobriety and had been prone to depression for many years. The psychiatrist determined that I was too highly functional and insightful to need to be in a locked unit. So, I stayed only three days and was then transferred to an outpatient program known as Alteratives. I can go home every evening. Not such a bad deal.
Giving up alcohol is one thing; dealing with life sober is a whole other road. Not what I was expecting. Who knew?