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Old 01-28-2010, 08:07 PM
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Stu
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Hi I'm new

I'm 30 years old and I guess I've had a problem now for just under 10 years.

It really all started after I moved back home after having my own place for a year. I quit work due to stress and ended up staying at home most of the time. I started to drink in small quantities to begin with. I'd started to dabble in req drugs towards the end of my job and things just went from bad to worse. I was out of work for approx 1 year. Not due to drugs or drink but due to depression.

I got another job at a major company in the UK and quickly became a supervisor within the company. I was working very long and gruelling shifts which didn't finish until after midnight each day. I managed to quit the pills I was taking but the alcohol took hold. I started to drink regularly regardless of time of day, I even slept through a Christmas day because I'd drunk the best part of 24 beers on Christmas Eve after work.

I met my wife over the internet and to cut a long story short we ended up living together and getting married, moving home and having a gorgeous little girl. All the time I was drinking almost every day.

I quit in June of last year for around a month. Sadly I ended up slipping again and I carried on until the start of this year.

I've been dry for 3 weeks, until today when I bought a few beers. I didn't really want to buy or drink them, I felt a little let down when I did buy them. I'm sitting here now wishing I hadn't bought them and how much better it is being sober. I'm hoping that tomorrow I can stay dry again and carry on where I left off today.

Sorry to rant but I'm new and I've never really been able to admit my problem to anyone other than my wife and my brother.
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:15 PM
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Welcome Stu!

30 yrs old huh? sweet! I was just thinking about what i was doing when i was thirty...i go to AA and suffice to say it would have been a good move at your age for me to go, i am 38 now...actually i did go to AA at your age and stayed a couple of meetings and then, i think, i moved job and country to stop drinking...running away didn't work:-)
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:21 PM
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Stu
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I know running away will never solve anything, unless your in a race....

To be honest I've not really thought about AA. My wife is in a scheme called Arch where I live and that helped her out a great deal. I signed up but before my appointment was due up I was dry for around 2 or more weeks so I didn't think I needed it, silly me hey.

My wife is a great support to me as she's been/going through the same thing herself. My brother is normally the other person I would call on for support but I think he's got an alcohol problem himself and he doesn't seem to want to admit/address his problem.
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:22 PM
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Glad you found us & that you're admitting you have a problem. That's the first hurdle to get over. There is so much support here, I hope you take advantage of it. Check out the forums, share what you feel comfortable sharing & just remember this: No one in the real world is going to know that you're the guy on Sober Recovery who goes by the name of Stu. This makes it pretty easy to open up, get things off your chest so you can deal with the situations & move on.

God Bless,
Judy
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:25 PM
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Welcome to SR. Please keep reading and posting. Lots of good stuff here.
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:26 PM
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Glad you are here! Welcome and I look forward to hearing more from you.
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:27 PM
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Welcome Stu

You'll find a lot of support here, and a lot of suggestions on how not just to get sober but how to stay sober as well.

Read around and post as much as you like
good to have you with us!
D
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Old 01-28-2010, 09:46 PM
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Glad to have you here Stu. I had to do the "drink, dry-out, drink, dry-out" cycle many times before I became truly convinced I had ZERO control over the "drink" part. It takes what it takes. I'm glad you are searching for answers. You will find them. Welcome to the journey. We need you.
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Old 01-28-2010, 11:53 PM
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Welcome to SR Stu.
In order to stay sober I made a list of the goods and bads of drinking and as long as the list points to not drinking I will not drink. If I get an urge to drink, which I don't really get anymore I just refer to the list. For me it is easy as that.
Good luck for your continued success.
Maybe you could tell us a little about Arch. It sounds interesting.
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Old 01-29-2010, 03:53 AM
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Well, after yesterdays little slip I feel surprisingly good about it. It's made me think to myself "is this what all of the cravings where for? It's not worth it" and I really don't think it was worth it. I don't feel annoyed with myself or guilty just a sense of well now that's over I can't wait to get this out of my system and become dry again. I realise just how much I like being free of the beer.

Originally Posted by Fubarcdn View Post
Welcome to SR Stu.
In order to stay sober I made a list of the goods and bads of drinking and as long as the list points to not drinking I will not drink. If I get an urge to drink, which I don't really get anymore I just refer to the list. For me it is easy as that.
Good luck for your continued success.
Maybe you could tell us a little about Arch. It sounds interesting.
I'm going to make a list today and put it where I can always see it. I've been thinking of things to go on it all morning. Thanks for the idea.
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Old 01-29-2010, 04:32 AM
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Welcome to SR.....

Glad you are making a fresh start...sobriety is so rewarding.
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Old 01-29-2010, 04:50 AM
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Hi Stu and welcome. This is a great site

Many of us alcoholics found we were able to quit for days/weeks/months, even longer, but at some point we drank again.

From that experience we learned that we couldn't do this alone. It's great you have support but not so great that the support you have are two people, perhaps with a similar problem, but don't have a solution for you.

The 12 step programme of AA is a solution. I would really recommend you keep an open mind and go to some meetings and ask for help. You cannot do this on your own.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Some meetings (check schedules or phone prior ) are "open" which means others can attend too......so many you could check it out with your wife, even brother.

Take care.
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Old 01-29-2010, 05:13 AM
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Welcome to SR and congrats on your decision to live a sober life.
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Old 01-29-2010, 05:25 AM
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hello there stu,and welcome to sr.i tried many times to get and stay sober,and i couldnt do it.im alcoholic and im going to drink wether i want to or not against my will.when i got sober i discovered that i had used alcohol as my "solution" to life.so i was never going to stay stopped and live a happy useful life without something to replace my "solution".
i went to AA at the begining of last year,went to lots of meetings and called fol every day 4,5,6 times.after a month i drank again,i really didnt want to!
it was there and then that i realised i was never going to be able to do this alone,i needed something more powerful than me.i had no power as far as alcohol was concerned!
i knew i needed another solution.so i got a sponsor and got on the 12 step recovery programme of AA.my life now is how i never ever imagined it could be! it is wonderful.
all you need is an open mind,willingness and as much honesty as you can muster.
it is not for everyone,but for this alki it has given me a whole new life.
i wish you well.
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Old 01-29-2010, 06:19 AM
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Welcome Stu! It's great to have you with us. Maybe that last slip was just what you needed. I know mine was, though it almost killed me. Wonderful that your wife is so supportive and understanding - that will help so much.

Be happy that you're taking care of this now - you won't leave a trail of misery and chaos behind you like many of us did. Your little girl will never have to be affected by your drinking. Congratulations on seeing the light. Let us know how you're doing.
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Old 01-29-2010, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Stu View Post
Well, after yesterdays little slip I feel surprisingly good about it. It's made me think to myself "is this what all of the cravings where for? It's not worth it" and I really don't think it was worth it. I don't feel annoyed with myself or guilty just a sense of well now that's over I can't wait to get this out of my system and become dry again. I realise just how much I like being free of the beer.
Amen to that and welcome!

I had the same feelings and made the same error earlier this month. I think it's probably one of the many reasons alcohol is so baffling. I felt the same disappointment (and almost dread) when I bought the beer and began to drink it. It, as you said, wasn't worth it. I don't know why I ever thought it would be.

They have a saying in AA, (I think it's AA as I'm not a member just yet) "There is nothing worse than a head full of AA and a belly full of booze."

I think I actually felt worse when I was drinking than I did the next day - I was just so glad I learned from it, and I'm glad it wasn't enjoyable or I would probably have started trying to convince myself I didn't have a problem again (pretty counter-intuitive).

I'm glad you're here.
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Old 01-29-2010, 11:59 AM
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Hi untox

Originally Posted by Untoxicated View Post
I felt the same disappointment (and almost dread) when I bought the beer and began to drink it. It, as you said, wasn't worth it. I don't know why I ever thought it would be.
It is truly insane.....and baffling. I just thank God I no longer have to drink and go through that.
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Old 01-29-2010, 02:44 PM
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Welcome to SR Stu. Well now that it is out of your system you are off to the races. Good luck and I look forward to seeing more of you around here. Sobriety is definitely a good way to live in my opinion.
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Old 02-02-2010, 08:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Stu View Post
I've been dry for 3 weeks, until today when I bought a few beers. I didn't really want to buy or drink them, I felt a little let down when I did buy them. I'm sitting here now wishing I hadn't bought them and how much better it is being sober. I'm hoping that tomorrow I can stay dry again and carry on where I left off today.
That is the vicious circle. You feel a little bit down and try to cheer up using something. And make a wrong choice in favor of alcohol, although you know quite well that it will not really work. In the end, you feel even worse than before. What is the way of cheering up now? More beer? But you know it will not help, it will worsen it all even more. The only way out seems to be complete refusal of alcohol. You just have to decide that alcohol does not exist on Earth.


Originally Posted by Stu View Post
Sorry to rant but I'm new and I've never really been able to admit my problem to anyone other than my wife and my brother.
You have done absolutely right to have come here! You seem to have got rid of at least one reason for drinking: "feeling lonely and having no one to speak to at the moment". Even if your wife and brother happen to be somewhere outside your place, you will always find someone to exchange opinions (and experience) here. Just do not withdraw into yourself
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