Well, here it is

Old 01-26-2010, 04:05 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Follow Directions!
Tazman53's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
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Welcome to SR Jan, glad to hear you have started to go to meetings before having to go through detox or rehab.

May I suggest you start going to one of, or both of the following type of meetings, beginners meetings or even better to start out with ladies meetings.

I totally agree with Alizerin:

My home group is a women's group. Just wanted to point out that those do exsist (although some don't like the whole gender seperation thing tho). I think it takes some of the dreaded fear away from some women in the beginning (like me).
A meeting full of men and very few women can be intimidating I have heard for lady newcomers, we have several ladies only meetings in my areas and I have heard many of the women who attend these meetings that in early sobriety they were life savers.

Now that day 3 is almost over I am getting restless- I've been putting off dealing with so much stuff that right now I just want to deal with it all at once. I have been a master of ignoring my feelings and problems, and consistently hide behind alcohol, humor, and sarcasm. I know I am just beginning a long journey and logically I cant solve everything all at once, but I am both impatient and determined to beat this cycle once and for all.
Day 3 is a real "B", I will suggest to you what my first sponsor suggested to me, he suggested that I get as many mens (Ladies for you) phone numbers as I could at every meeting I went to and to call him and 2 other AA men EVERY day, even if the call was nothing more then "Hey how you doing today, I am doing pretty good."

Many of these conversations helped me through some darn tough times, I found it very comforting to learn that I was not alone in all the crazy stuff that was going on in my head, that what I was going through was pretty normal and it gave me hope that I could make it through them sober because they offered me suggestions of how they did it. For me it made one heck of a difference simply talking to some one else who REALLY understood what I was talking about.
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Old 01-26-2010, 06:45 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 113
Hi Jan!

First, HUGE congratulations on making a big step by going to your first AA meeting. They always say that the just walking through that door is a massive act of courage and I agree with that.

I'm on Day 7 right now, so just know that you are NOT alone and in good company. There are a lot of people on here who have been sober for a good while now and their words of wisdom has been priceless for me.

One last thing - have you thought about trying to get into one-on-one counseling as well? Might help with dealing with all the emotions you are feeling right now. I think this happens once we stop masking all of our 'stuff' with alcohol.

God Bless and good luck!

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Old 01-26-2010, 10:30 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
Hi Jan, and welcome

I also read your other post.

Alcoholism is progressive.

I used to go clubbing... hit the bars.
My friends were all people who were at least as 'bad' as I was.

It eventually got to the point where I had to totally gave up on the bar scene though.

You see, I couldn't ever get as much to drink in a bar as I wanted.
I thought it better just to stay home where I could drink my face off
every night with no worries. This went on for years.

So, I ended up become somewhat of a recluse.

I would find any excuse to pass on any social outing or family gathering because I wouldn't be able to drink the way I wanted plus I was usually much to out of it or hungover to do anything anyway.

At home I could drink my face off every day as much as I wanted.

Like I say, alcoholism is progressive. You're very wise to recognize your problem and even wiser to want to do something about it.

If you keep going the way you have been alcohol will end up robbing you of your youth, your looks, your sanity, your job, your family, and steal years of life from you.

Fairweather friends are just that Jan.

Once you are sober for a while you'll recognize you really have very little in common with those people besides drinking and drugs.

Best of luck on your journey Jan.

You can change.
It would be so worth it for you.
It will just get worse and worse as years go by if you don't
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Old 01-26-2010, 01:10 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Jan, congratulations on making what could likely be the wisest decision of your life! I remember the first AA meeting I ever went to, seemed like mostly old men who looked and sounded (and smelled) like they were living on the streets, I wasn't like them...I then tried another location and a women's only meeting...again these women had criminal records and stories that I could not relate too..."I wasn't that bad"....heck I was just looking for new friends and these were not "my kind of people".... over the following 4 yrs I went wayyy downhill, sure I still had a job, a home, no arrests (mainly because I drank alone at home) but I was the most miserable drunken idiot and I hated myself and decided to end everything. Obviously I survived and ultimately found my way into another AA meeting and this time instead of hearing what I couldn't relate to I listened for what I could relate to. I found some of the stories from people that had been in and out of jail, literally living in the streets or in a car, from people that lied/stole/cheated to be the stories that hit me the closest; because it made me realize that "there but for the grace of God go I" and there was almost always something in every story, maybe just a small bit, that I had experienced and I learned from these people. Stay strong you will never regret not drinking.
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Old 01-26-2010, 07:37 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Location: Australia
Posts: 211,697
Haunting the forums is a good thing to do, sometimes Jan

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Old 01-26-2010, 07:50 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 256
Just want to say hello and welcome to Alice 11!!!!!

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Old 01-27-2010, 02:18 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
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Location: South East of England
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Originally Posted by jan24 View Post
It is RIGHT now at this moment I just realized how much I want a sponsor. I swear next AA meeting I am going to actually talk to someone. Tomorrow.
What a good idea !!

I look forward to your update on this
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Old 01-27-2010, 04:01 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
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It is RIGHT now at this moment I just realized how much I want a sponsor.
Having a sponsor and taking the steps with him saved me. I for now would suggest that you ask a lady to be your "Temporary" sponsor to start with. The "Temporary" eleminates any obligations on you or her. Speak at length with her, ask her what she feels you should look for in a sponsor, let her know what you would like in a sponsor.

The most important thing I found I needed to have in my sponsor was "Trust", I needed to know that what ever I spoke about with my sponsor stayed between the 2 of us.

I did not seek out some one to be a friend or buddy, I sought out some one who had thier act together, who not only talked the talk, but walked the walk!

Next meeting you go to perhaps should be either a newcomers meeting or a ladies meeting, when they ask for a topic, speak up, simply say "Hi I am Jan and I am seeking a sponsor and would like to hear what I should look for in a sponsor & how I go about getting one."

I can assure you that you will learn a great deal about sponsors and will stand a strong possibilty of having a sponsor after the meeting ends.

One VERY important thing to keep in mind is you decide who will be your sponsor, if you get a sponsor and things just do not seem to be right, as tough as this may sound, just tell her things do not seem to be right and ask if she will help you find a sponsor that may be a better fit.

Trust me, any one with good recovery will not be hurt by you seeking another sponsor, they will understand. I have had a "Temporary" sponsor and now have had the same sponsor for 3 years, I am considering getting another sponsor, not because there is anything wrong really with my present sponsor, but I simply feel I would like some one elses take on things.
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