Notices

Stepping out of my shell . . .

Old 01-24-2010, 12:28 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
trqtort's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Heaperia, CA, USA
Posts: 2
Stepping out of my shell . . .

Hello to everybody and thank you for a warm welcome!

I am bipolar, alcoholic, smoker and compulsive overeater. I haven't taken bipolar meds (laid off work, not enough budget to cover it) since September 2009, quit smoking October 2009, quit drinking Dec*13, 2009, and last but not least, started abstinence from compulsive overeating Jan 4, 2010.

I've been clean and sober for periods of time many times before but keep going back to my addictions when I reach a certain point of recovery. During those periods of sobriety, I've sought for help through Religion, AA, OA, Psychiatry, Counseling, Self-Help Books, and supportive friends and family, which have all resulted in staying out of legal, relationship or financial troubles, but haven't really helped with my life-long search for peace of mind and serenity.

So I'm back on the road of recovery again, using all the tools I have to stay clean and sober and trying not to beat myself up for the failures of the past. For now, I'm looking for answers to this question: What have you done to stay sober, healthy and happy? What gives you the ability to enjoy life? What gives you the ability to deal with the chaos and frustration of daily reality?

Thank you for the opportunity to share what's going on, maybe a first step in the right direction?
trqtort is offline  
Old 01-24-2010, 12:53 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 58,644
Hi and Welcome,

It sounds like you've taken on a lot of issues in the past few months.

For me, balance has been the key. When I began recovery, I started going for long walks daily, and it helped in many ways. I had to reconnect spiritually and learn how to listen to and hear my soul. And, I have to work on a daily basis to remain positive.

I have done my very best to avoid chaos in my life. I removed people from my life who caused me upset and I have made it a point to have 'alone time' and to not be busy all the time.

I know that you will find what works for you!
Anna is online now  
Old 01-24-2010, 01:07 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 97,268
Welcome to SR! I hope we can give you the support and direction you want.
least is offline  
Old 01-24-2010, 01:08 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Go ask the Multivax
 
Ceres's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Short answer: Other people. Specifically other people in recovery. There's a lot of cross addictions with my friends. Which is especially nice and quite common I'll add.

If I joined a self-help group for all my issues. I'd have no time to do anything else!

Friendship is something relatively new to me since I never knew how to be a friend. I'm still learning. I very much enjoy my friends and having lunch or coffee. But, sometimes I have to make myself pick up the phone. As isolation is a strong force with me. So, I'm constantly aware of the fact I have to nurture my friendships and double check that I haven't negelected any.
Ceres is offline  
Old 01-24-2010, 01:50 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,844
Hi trqtort

For now, I'm looking for answers to this question: What have you done to stay sober, healthy and happy? What gives you the ability to enjoy life? What gives you the ability to deal with the chaos and frustration of daily reality?
I'm not sure I can answer those questions for myself, let alone give you any template trq

Balance is certainly a component like Anna said, and for me helping others is a major part of my life now - but it all started for me with stopping drinking.

Once I stopped assaulting my mind and my body, I found I could start to tackle the things 'wrong' with me - the underlying reasons why I drank in the first place.

Working on me, and plugging into others, not tuning out - rather than drinking to self medicate - is what has made me happy anyway.

I think it's the journey that's important for each of us - whatever *you* discover is obviously the most important thing for you.

I hope you'll find something here at SR to help you work out what works for you
Welcome

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-24-2010, 03:17 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Trqtort,

Originally Posted by trqtort View Post
For now, I'm looking for answers to this question: What have you done to stay sober, healthy and happy? What gives you the ability to enjoy life? What gives you the ability to deal with the chaos and frustration of daily reality?
For me it has to be the 12 Steps. When I am working the 12 Steps I feel happy, at peace, serene, I enjoy life and I easily manage the 'chaos' of daily life.

If I am not working ALL of the 12 steps, it's a different story.......

I'm a compulsive overeater/carb addict, been OA since 1999. Having realised I am powerless over alcohol, I have now quit drinking and go to AA.

I've learned (the hard way) that my addiction to food and alcohol is one and the same. I have to put them side by side on a list, not one in front of the other. I tried for quite some time to list one in front of the other, debating all the time which I was most addicted to, which was my real problem.


While I focused on recovery from my No.1 addiction, No.2. sneaked its way in and got me using No.1 again. It was wicked viscious cycle into despair and dangerous games with my blood sugar where I would starve myself then ingest large quantites of alcohol very quickly so my blood sugar was really low for maximum effect and then quickly binge on sugar and carbs in a matter or a few minutes so my blood sugar went sky high and I passed out unconsciousness. Thank God the insanity brought me to my knees before it killed me.

So today I just don't drink alcohol. With the food it is a bit more complicated with rules etc, but basically I don't eat carbs (most), sugars, processed foods or anything which causes me physical cravings. I truly believe that this disease of the body and the mind and I must eliminate the physical craving for food before I can deal with the obsession of the mind.

Weight has always been an issue for me. When I am carrying extra its a sign that I am not abstinent or 'using' food. After a huge loss when I first got recovery in OA, I did gain a bit when the alcohol became a problem and sneaked the food back in.

I was originally 17 stone (238lb) and my recovered weight before the booze took a hold was 9st 11lb (137lb), so it was a big loss at 101lbs. Three weeks after quitting the booze and being abstinent again I am 1 stone (14lbs) heavier than that but its on its way down again.

I feel great. In the last 3 weeks I have been the most serene and peaceful I have ever felt ever despite experiencing recovery before.......it really is a journey. It's all down to the 12 Steps and not drinking and abstinant (from overeating).

It must be difficult with the Biopolar.I live in a country where healthcare is free so I can't imagine what it would be like to not get the meds you need.

You have done really well to stay sober and abstinence this time. I hope to you find a programme of recovery which suits you. If you need to talk, I'm here.
Take care.
intention is offline  
Old 01-24-2010, 03:57 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
trqtort's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Heaperia, CA, USA
Posts: 2
Realization . . .

After reading your posts and reading everybody else's on other topics during the day, I am realizing how isolated I have been. I am remembering how much I enjoyed going to meetings (especially the first OA meetings back in 1981) and talking to people. After reading intention's post, I cried and cried for the missing of hearing from someone who struggles with the same issues that I do.

I hear alot of mentioning of the 12 steps and remember the old days of doing the steps, reading the Big Book and going to meetings. I don't know, I left the program when I left the religious cult that I was in at the time and have many negative associations with the whole thing. But I'm thinking that I need to be willing to look at the 12 steps again with new eyes and help from other people? I am exploring other alternatives to gain recovery too.

Starting to think of things that I've put aside for so many years!
Off to a good start I guess, optimistic at least!
trqtort is offline  
Old 01-24-2010, 04:26 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,844
I definitely think it's good to be open to everything trq, and I'm glad you're thinking of looking at AA again. Support is important.

There's many ways to the top of the mountain tho - there are many of us here who are very happily recovered using non 12 step methods too.

here's a pretty exhaustive page of recovery related links

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...i-recover.html

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-24-2010, 06:28 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
ツ Over The Hill Member ☮✌♏❤🇺🇲🎨 🌠♒
 
Zencat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 9,418
Originally Posted by trqtort
What have you done to stay sober, healthy and happy? What gives you the ability to enjoy life? What gives you the ability to deal with the chaos and frustration of daily reality?
As I keep experiencing life free from addiction I keep learning new ways to deal with life just as it is. Zen philosophy and practice really helps me stay in the moment. That alone helps out much more that I expected. Many times when 'I just let go' and 'get back in the flow of life' without clinging on to how I would like life to act for me...many of the difficulty that I think as stumbling blocks actually become opportunities to grow.
Zencat is offline  
Old 01-25-2010, 12:55 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi trqtort,

Originally Posted by trqtort View Post
After reading intention's post, I cried and cried for the missing of hearing from someone who struggles with the same issues that I do.
Identification with others who have the same problem is so important for the person suffering and the person recovering. I hope you can get back to OA meetings...and AA as well. It will keep you busy.

There is a line in the OA 12 and 12 book which says "We procrastinated, we hid and we ate"

Such a simple line but in a few words it sums up my life with food.

I hear alot of mentioning of the 12 steps and remember the old days of doing the steps, reading the Big Book and going to meetings. I don't know, I left the program when I left the religious cult that I was in at the time and have many negative associations with the whole thing. But I'm thinking that I need to be willing to look at the 12 steps again with new eyes and help from other people? I am exploring other alternatives to gain recovery too.
You have an opportunity here to go into OA and AA with an open mind about what a Higher Power is to you. You can cast aside your old ideas linked with the cult and look for what your Higher Power is to you today. The past is gone.
Talk to you soon.
intention is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:20 AM.