Saphie

Before I start, let me say that I'm not trying to cause some kind of controversy, but just want to put something down in writing.
I'm sure I'm not the only one that has been struggling during this, shall we say party time, good time, holidays etc.

Dangerously enough I came across an article yesterday regarding addictions.
It basically asked "Can overeaters ever eat fatty foods again? Yes of course they can."
"Can sex addicts ever have sex again? Sure they can. Good news for Tiger ."

You know where this is leading. Yes the next questions was:
"Can alcoholics ever drink alcohol again? And yes the answer was: Yes as long as they could control the out of control drinking."
Mmmmh, little struggling me was thinking: Don't drink hard liquor, just wine. Just drink at weekends and only have two. Yep that sounds like a plan starting Christmas Eve.

As I was sitting down to my sleepy cup of tea last night I started yawning and thought (I do a lot of that ) Would I like a glass of wine? Strangely enough the answer was: "No, not really".

My thoughts continued: Would I stick to the plan? Have just the two on a Fri/Sat and ignore the bottle (who am I kidding, it would be the biggest box I could find) in the kitchen for the remainder of the week? Heck no.
Fri/Sat - just the two? Heck no way. I'd be sneaking in a last one on my way to pass out.

I went to bed quite relaxed, because I didn't like my plan anymore. Good thing it wasn't Christmas Eve yet.

I wish everybody at SR a wonderful Christmas and an even happier New Year.
Marion

least

Somebody here once said "I've never woken up in the morning and wish I'd drank the night before". That's so true. Anytime I've drank I've always woken up to feeling like crap and regretting my drinking. Now that I wake up sober and feeling good there's no temptation to drink.

A merry Christmas to you also, and a sober happy New Year!

Threshold

please see next entry

Threshold

As an addict who has major problems with food and sex, along with substances I CAN stay clean from...let me tell you the eating and relationship issues are MUCH harder to deal with.

I cannot eat foods that combine simple carbs and fat. I can't without binging into active addiction on them all over again. I HAVE to stay on my diet of NO refined foods, not even flour, in order to not binge, and a binge in that area releases my other addictions all over again.

Sex/relationships...same. I need relationships to live, but it is incredibly hard for me to be clean in those areas, much harder than saying no to dope or booze, because it's so easy to slip into sick addictive behavior, do something I regret, and off go all my other addictions again.

So, I have found that for me it's better to not even try to have a little of those things to which I am sensitive and CAN live without, and not put myself in danger zones any more than is absolutely necessary, For me it's just asking for trouble, it takes all the vigilance I have to maintain control in those areas in which I cannot simply go cold turkey.

Yeah, one christmas cookie can start a mad gallop toward total relapse in all areas. Sounds dramatic I know, but for me it's the truth and I've learned it the hard way. First it's a cookie and two hours and two dozen cookies later later I am telling myself how a little drink won't hurt, and an hour and three drinks after that I am justifying some pills to help me sleep...

Mark75

Well, whomever wrote that has no idea what they are talking about. An alcoholic is someone who can't control the out of control drinking.

Where did you read that?

Mark

yeahgr8

Very grateful to be out of the insanity

bananagrrrl

What is that saying - "one drink is not enough and 10 is too many"? Is that from the BB? I can't remember. But that says it all for me.

Having one or two IF I COULD STICK TO THAT, would be extremely lame. I would rather get tanked.

Gypsy Feet

I'm glad you talked it all the way out Saphie. I love that eventually, a drink doesn't even sound appealing. I want to be a non-drinker, and I am.

Tazman53

This is one of those cases where it is very important to check your source! LOL

One of the great things about being in AA (Also sad) is I get to see first hand that real alcoholics can never drink normally again no matter how long they have been sober. The prime example is one guy who I know personally who had 22 years sober using AA. He stopped coming to meetings or calling his sponsor. Well about 8 months ago he decided it was okay for him to have a few every now and then. In less then 2 months he got 2 DUIs & would have had a 3rd but the cop felt sorry for him because he had totalled his Harley.

Things like that let this alcoholic know that a drink every now and then would NEVER be enough!

Glad to hear you thought it through and are happy with your decision.

BTW Happy Holidays right back at you.

Saphie

Threshold, I apologize if I have offended you or anyone else by making light of food/sex addiction. It wasn't my intention. (Well maybe that bit about Tiger) I try and see the funnier side of things, hence myself calling myself a drunk. It's not that I don't realize the serious side, it just helps me get through the tough parts. I should have thought that not everybody thinks like me. It was selfish. Sorry.

PS: The article was, where else, on the Internet and yes I should know better; however if I found it so will others who may be easier persuaded to follow through, which is why I thought it's best to get it out here, especially at this time of year.

CAPTAINZING2000

I haven't a choice on eating. A body has to have food. However, I can find no reason to put alcohol in my body what so ever. There's a reason we call this cunning and baffling. There's been many a person go out on an occasion and not drink to excess only to try it the next time and get drunk.

Dee74

Good for you Saphie.

I've done enough personal research to know I can't drink 'with control'. I don't believe that was a skill I ever had, so there's nothing to get back LOL

More to the point - I'm totally ok with that
D

Zencat

I cant say if I ever tried control drinking. I have lots of experience with out of control drinking wile trying to control my intoxicated behaviors. But I don't think its the same thing yet it sounds just as likely for me to control my drinking as controlling my drunken actions. I'll stick with abstinence.

Luckyv2

OMG that sounds so much like me although I am not sure what a relationship is

yeahgr8

i think it is one drink is too many and 100 (or 1000) not enough...10 is too many, pssshhh, call yourself an alcoholic;-)

flutter

Controlled drinking sounds like absolute hell.. course I always drank to get drunk and one drink wouldn't do that for me!

I remember very early in my sobriety, however.. that I searched and searched for 'programs' or 'recovery' books to tell me I could drink again.. some day.

Glad to be away from that insanity too!

Hang in there..

cambridge

Also not trying to start any wars, but in response to Tazman's story - I'm sure that is true for that person, and you hear stories like this in AA all the time. But, the other side might also be true, but those stories don't get told. For example, I have a very good friend who was in AA for 8 years of so, mostly for substance, but didn't drink either. A year or two ago she decided that she can drink. And she has been, as far as I can tell there have been no negative consequences.

Maybe it's because she was in AA for mostly drug issues, or maybe it is that some people can not just moderate, but enjoy the moderation. To me personally, right now, i know this is not possible. I had a most stressful day today, which involved standing in a queue for 4 hours to get on the Eurostar to Paris to see my ex in-laws for christmas. And I was thinking, about 7 hours into the journey, how nice a glass of wine would be when I got here. I didn't drink the wine, and now, thinking about it, I really didn't want one glass of wine, but to gulp the first one down and drink as many as I could.

So, all I am saying, is while the policy of moderation would not work for me obviously right now, and I would always be wanting more, I can also see that it might be possible in time where that could be. And there must be some people who this works for. I think you would not hear about those cases though, because it is not such a good story.

Thanks for listening and happy Christmas.

lagirl310

Back in the late 80s, early 90s I used to do ALOT of cocaine and thought I was addicted. It was costing more money than I had, trouble at work and problems in my relationships. And then day, I don't even remember why now I just kind of stopped. Over the years, every now and then I would get offered a line and from time to time I'd do it (usually when I was doing some late night drinking). But I never felt like I HAD to have it. As a matter of fact, about 5 years ago someone gave me a large bag of it. I had put it in my purse and forgot about it for over a year until one day I was at the airport (post 911) and freaked out when I remembered it was in there.

At the time I was using, I would have been labeled a drug addict because nothing was more important to me. But I'm certainly not addicted now and actually have no desire to do it again. Why would someone be labeled an alcoholic for the rest of their life just because they were once addicted to it? And trust me, I hope to one day feel the same way about alcohol, but I don't want to be labeled forever.

So what is the main difference between the two? Can someone explain? I'm open to all answers and all interpretations.

DecBaby

I think people that drink for taste may be able to do this but I assume that most people drink to get drunk and just 1 or 2 wouldn't be any fun. Then once you've had 1 or 2 your clear head isn't so clear and its harder to tell yourself stop.

Dee74

I can only give you my experience lagirl - some drugs I could take and leave, others got me hooked - for me, it'd be very dangerous to assume that 'because this happened with x it will happen the same with y'. That's not the case in my experience.

I do know I've never been able to go back to 'successfully' or 'normally' using a drug I've abused....and that definitely includes booze.

D