Old 12-13-2009, 09:07 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Sara, AA alone is probably not going to do anything for you at this point. I would suggest you look into inpatient rehab programs. I don't know how you go about doing this in Canada, but you should probably start with either a doctor, a therapist, or an addiction counselor. Or better yet since you don't sem to like doctors, try the internet. If you Google "Alcohol Rehabilitation Canada" you're going to find a lot of information about centers, programs, costs, etc. But let me give you a little more advice - stop with the negative attitude. People here are trying to help you. You should at least be a little grateful for that. And perhaps it's time you should start doing something besides complaining. Get on the internet. Get the information you need and then decide for yourself what you're going to do. As I said earlier today, you can keep doing what you're doing and stay miserable, or you can take the advice offered by the people here who are trying to help you. Once again, it's a choice.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:42 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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i really dont mean to have a negative attitude... i appreciate any help from anyone... i'm just really frustrated, and desperate.. there are other issues in my life besides this
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Old 12-14-2009, 05:35 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I also have/had other issues besides my alcoholism. It's a hell of lot simpler to deal with those issues when I'm sober. I'd suggest getting sober first, then deal with the other issues. Drinking makes it impossible, or at least, very difficult, to deal with things. Get sober first. Then tackle your issues.

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Old 12-14-2009, 06:11 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Im with Least on this one - get sober first then tackle the other issues. I paid a ton of money for rehab and while it didn't work for me it did for others but you have to want it
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Old 12-14-2009, 07:14 AM
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Hi Sara,

I notice you are in Toronto. You might want to check out "Bellwood health Centre" at 866-338-9091. Bellwood is in Scarborough and is an expensive rehab, but I believe they have a limited number of beds for those than have limited funds, should that be your case. There is also Homewood in Guelph, which is similar to Bellwood. If you google Homewood Guelph you can get the phone number and information.

There is also Renascent Centre in downtown Toronto. Their number is 1-866 232-1212. I notice that these numbers are 1-866 and 866 for Toronto which seems strange to me, but give them a try.

Good luck with Sara.
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Old 12-14-2009, 07:21 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Everyone has done a good job of explaining the differences but I just wanted to say that most of the first times I went to NA meetings, I went home and got high, sometimes they even made me feel like getting high even more. I realize now though that the problem wasn't with the meetings, it was with my understanding/willingness/denial. I'm just to the point now where that is starting to change and Na meetings are starting to help a lot. It helps when you start to meet other ppl too, and start the program, 12 steps, etc. I have even gone to a couple meetings high/coming down before, but just keep going. I've been going to the odd meeting and considering recovery for months, but now it is finally sinking in and I am getting it.

Some people can get sober with a support group alone, and some people need more. I realized I needed more and I am going to rehab very soon. I'm terrified but I am finally willing to do whatever it takes and I think a lot of the success for a person in rehab, depends on their attitude towards it. If you are willing and want recovery bad enough to give rehab a try, I think you should definitely do it. I am at my wits end with my addiction and I am willing to give anything a try to get better. For me, I realized I need to get away and be in a safe place to deal with all the emotional aftermath of quitting drugs, and get grounded in my recovery. You might need the same thing.
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Old 12-14-2009, 07:33 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Not all better, getting better
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Not sure exactly what "other issues" you are dealing with, but if the are mental, make sure you mention that to your doctor or rehab if you go. Many alcoholics are fall into the catagory of Dual Diagnosis. This means in addition to your alcoholism you many have some sort of mental disorder, such as depression, anxiety, bi-polar, etc. Often these symptoms get better just by stopping drinking because alcohol can mess with your brain chemestry. However, sometimes the issue was preexisting, or there has been permenant to semi-permenant damage done to your brain requiring medication to "re-ballance" your brain chemestry.

If you are more speaking of your life being a "wreck", that is really something that will only get better when you quit drinking. My life had turned into total and complete insanity, to the point where I was hospitalzed in the mental ward a couple of times, against my will. My relationship was a disaster, my appartment looked like a dump, I had no pride in my appearence, I was severaly depressed, etc. None of this got better until I quit. Some parts of my life still do such, but at least now, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Take care.
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Old 12-14-2009, 09:47 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Sara rehabs work for people who are really ready to stop and stay stopped.

I know a ton of folks in AA that went to in some cases multiple rehabs and wound up drinking again, they all share that it was because they were not ready to do the work needed to stay sober after rehab.

All rehabs are geared towards putting a person on solid footing to continue to work a program of recovery after they leave rehab.

The majority of rehabs are of the 12 step variety, but not all of them.

When I was going through detox they told us repeatedly that if we wanted a chnce to stay clean and sober we needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.

Every person I know who has gone through rehab and stayed sober continued to work a long term program of recovery. In a nut shell these folks say that rehab kept them sober long enough for the fog in thier heads to clear enough to where when they got out of rehab they were able to grasp and use a long term recovery program.

I get what they were saying, I was absolutely desperate to stay sober when I came out of detox, it took me a good month for the fog to clear in my head and for me to start really getting what I was hearing in meetings and what my sponsor and others were telling me.

I hope I at least partially answered your question. I heard some one here say that detox/rehab is kind of like a hospital, they get you just well enough to deliver one to a long term recovery program and them to stand a chance.
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Old 12-14-2009, 10:57 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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thank you gerryp, im looking up those places right now..

everything seems to come back to aa with most of you.... maybe that will work for me eventually, but right now i know that spending an hour holding hands and whining with a bunch of drunks isnt going to help me... i need to be cut off from everything.. my life is broken right now, and i cant fix it without serious help, an hour long support group isnt enough...
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:18 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I give a big thumbs up to residential (inpatient) rehab programs. So much so, I went three times .

A few things from my experience in rehab - this would be in the US - not sure how they might differ in Canada.

I was surrounded by health care professionals. There were regular MD doctors there to help straighten out my liver and any other health issues I was dealing with.

There were all sorts of psychologists and psychiatrists that assessed and addressed mental health issues like depression and anxiety I was dealing with.

And there were all the chemical abuse specialists too - just tons of professional support.

To me, that's the biggest difference between rehab and AA - rehab has medical professionals trained for years in treating the disease. AA is not professional and is others who have the disease sharing their personal experience.

Rehab in the US is expensive - $1,000 per day. It's most common for folks to stay approx 21 - 28 days here. I know Canada has the public health care system so maybe it won't cost you a penny?

The other thing about rehab that really helped me was I couldn't break the cycle on my own. I needed to be sequestered away from things at first in order to stay sober for more than a day or two.

When I got out of rehab and went home, I did become very involved in AA and continue to do so - so I really have done both rehab and aa. And for me, I needed both - and continue to need AA.
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:38 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Whatever you choose you gotta want sobriety more than you want to get f*cked up.

Plain and simple. If you want it bad enough it's free and don't cost nothing.
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:51 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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i do want it...
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:59 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sara19 View Post
but right now i know that spending an hour holding hands and whining with a bunch of drunks isnt going to help me
Good for you for realizing that. Holding hands and whining with a bunch of drunks doesn't work for the folks that use AA either.

But, a profound alteration in my reaction to life, or a drastic shift in my perception of the world and my place in it, works wonders. Works better than I could have dreamed. But to get there, I had to actually follow the suggestions and do the work; actually take the 12 steps.
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Old 12-14-2009, 12:08 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sara19 View Post
my instincts tell me to get completely wasted

why wont anyone just give me a clear answer instead of telling me about support groups and telephone hotlines and all of these stupid things that i know wont work for me.. that is NOT what i asked about... im really not trying to be rude here, im just so frustrated, its like nothing can help me...
Are you frustrated because you're not hearing that recovery will be easy? I am just asking, because it is coming off that way, to me. You wanted to know the difference between a support group and rehab. 51Anna put it very well. Rehab is for a set period of time. It involves either going to a set number of "visits" also known as outpatient treatment, or going in for a set number of days, weeks, or months, known as inpatient. It DOES involve a doctor. A doctor CAN help. Addiction is treatable. Not curable, but doctors can help guide you, and depending on what you are addicted to, even offer forms of medicine to help treat withdrawal symptoms. That is something you will have to speak to a doctor about.
As far as support groups, like NA and AA, they are just that. You go to the meetings. You LISTEN. Don't go to one, go home and get wasted, and say it doesn't work for you. I went to DOZENS of meetings high on crack, high on vicodin, and drunk. THE BEST thing about NA/AA is that the meetings are FULL of people EXACTLY like you. EXACTLY like me. Although we do not have a one size fits all program, those groups are fantastic places to start and they are not only support groups, but a means to learn a different way to live.
BUT, nothing will EVER work for you if you don't want it to. You've got to WANT TO STAY CLEAN AND SOBER. You can't try something and say it doesn't work for you. For NA and AA to work, YOU HAVE TO WORK IT. Go to more meetings. LISTEN. READ the pamphlets. Get the books and read them. Get a sponsor. Work the steps. Really throw yourself into it. Take it one day at a time. Go to a meeting a day! Just keep going back. You will, at least, learn more about yourself and about addiction! I can promise you that.
From the beginning, it's totally up to you. I went to hundreds of meetings, in the beginning.
One thing to understand is that, while we can all relate, and we can understand what you are going through, there is no one RIGHT path to recovery. There are as many paths to recovery as there are people. That is why no one can totally explain it to you and they can only share their experiences. They share in order to let you know what has worked for them and maybe one or more of those things can work for you.
I started out going to a doctor. I was forced to. I was OD'ing on crack cocaine. The nurses said there was nothing they could do for me as cocaine is 100% psychological addiction and there were no programs for cocaine addiction. Imagine how upsetting that is. To hear there is NO help for cocaine addiction. I didn't let that stop me. I asked the doctor and she recommended a pastor. I went to that pastor. He recommended NA and praying to God for guidance. He printed out a list for me, of meetings. I went to my first one high. I went to several more, HIGH. Sometimes, I'd go to a meeting straight and then go get high. I wasn't serious about getting clean.
February 2nd, 2009 was the last time I got high.
People gave up on me. People are human, like me. No one is perfect. But there are people out there to help. You just got to want it. It IS frustrating, at first. It seems hopeless. That's why you need to keep going to meetings and LISTEN. You'll start to hear the hope. The experience. The strength. You're not the first to go to a meeting and then, afterwards, get loaded. You won't be the last, but you can make it your last time by going back! :ghug3
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Old 12-14-2009, 07:10 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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I truly hope you can get into a rehab as soon as possible. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you can get sober and find some peace of mind soon. You can do this. I have faith in you. You just do whatever you need to do to get started on the right track to a better life. (((hugs)))
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Old 12-14-2009, 07:24 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:20 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Looking For Myself...Sober
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My experience with rehab programs such as inpatient or outpatient and meetings are as follows.

Rehab is intense. Your whole day is all abotu recovery. Learning and sharing woth others like yourself.
i have done inpatient and it is all recovery all the time. From 6 or 7 in the morning to 8 or 9 at night. You go to groups about different topics and learn skills for staying clean. Theres alot of interation between the patients. And a counselor to guide you.
I liked rehab. I am waiting to go to a sober house which is a halfway house. But is just like inpatient except you have a little freedom with a curfew. But you still have to go to an outpatient program everyday, a meeting and all rules still apply like in an inpatient rehab hospital.
Outpatient is like inpatient except you only go for a few hours a day and go home for the night.

Meetings in my experience is just a place to find people for support. Others who are in all different stages of recovery to learn from and find support from while living a normal life. Working, being a productive person in the world. Its an hour a day. And you choose how many times a week you want to go.
Meetings are more of a self help thing.
You have to make all the effort. No one can make you go to meetings. Not like being inpatient where you are required to go to groups and stuff.
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:25 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
Looking For Myself...Sober
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I want to add. I get what your asking. Sometimes we addicts and alcoholics need everything broken down to ever little detail. And the ones who got an attitude about her asking for a strait answer should know better.

I got alot out of everything. I am hard headed. So i need a more diciplined and structured enviroment like inpatient or sober living where I have to work a program all day for months. After 6 mos or so they get you ready for going back to the world with the tools you have been given. They can even help you find after care like meetings or if you want you can still do an outpatient program for awhile.
Everyone is differetn. Some can just go to meetings and be ok. Some like me are freakin maniacs and cant do anything tney are told on their own. I need to be forced in a way. And I dont mind because thats what I need.
Do what you think wold help you. But be honest with yourself.
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