Do I belong here?

Old 12-11-2009, 02:21 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: WI
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Do I belong here?

I quit drinking for eight months. That was three years ago, and now feel like I should probably give it another go. My life hasn't spiraled out of control and some people have told me that I haven't lost enough yet to fully be committed to stopping. I have come to realize that my drinking is quite selfish though, and fear losing my health, wife, and job if my patterns of drinking continue. When and where I'm going to drink generally consumes much of my day and have become masterful at hiding my drinking from loved ones. I know drinking is ultimately my choice, yet continue to make excuses or rationalize my behaviors (I had a bad day = drink, my wife had a bad day = drink, I had a good day and should celebrate with a drink, and so on). I'm pretty sure that I began drinking to deal with underlying anxiety, but now feel that it is only contributing to this problem. I don't want to make this too lengthy, but would appreciate any feedback or encouragement from those with similar experience. Thanks.
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Old 12-11-2009, 02:41 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I think many of us began drinking to deal with anxiety or depression. I know I did. And, I had no idea how big of a mistake that would be. It makes things so much worse. Take a look around and read and learn.
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Old 12-11-2009, 02:53 PM
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Anxiety and Drinking

It seems to me, Phan, that you could benefit by attending DRA meetings...Dual Recovery Anonymous, where the members do cross-talk, and discuss their mental problem (anxiety/depression/bi-polar), etc., AS WELL AS the substance abuse problem (alcohol, or other drugs).

We have a great meeting in the Toronto area, in Canada, on Thursdays from 7 to 8 pm....the group is great.

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Old 12-11-2009, 03:02 PM
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Welcome Phan
I think if you think you should give it another go you definitely should

You'll find a lot of support here

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Old 12-11-2009, 03:12 PM
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Sounds like you might? Your bottom is only as low as you choose to make it. Are willing to go to any lengths to get sober? That's really the question. When your ready is when you can begin.


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Old 12-11-2009, 03:12 PM
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Location: SF Bay area, CA
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Welcome to SR Phan! I'm glad you found us and joined the family.

I also self medicated my anxiety and depression with alcohol, but it didn't take long for that to backfire and make the anxiety and depression much worse. I think you are smart to want to quit drinking before something really bad happens. Alcoholism is progressive and will only get worse if you continue to drink.

I don't know what your drinking habits/patterns are, but if withdrawal is a problem please get medical attention right away.

Again, welcome!
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Old 12-11-2009, 03:14 PM
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Location: Upstate New York
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Welcome, Phan! You sound very much like me. I had social anxiety issues and drinking really seemed to help with that. 25 years later it had almost destroyed me. I used it for every occasion, to numb myself & to cope with life. Trouble is, I didn't grow or learn to deal with anything - I remained stopped in time emotionally. I'm only now realizing what other always knew - there are no short cuts around life's challenges. We must go through them, not around them. Alcohol only seems to make the journey easier. In the end, it made me more shy - even reclusive.

Congratulations on seeing what needs to be done to keep yourself from losing everything. I don't believe in the theory that you have to reach your bottom before seeking recovery.
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Old 12-11-2009, 03:20 PM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: WI
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Good point about questioning how low I want to go. I have made a conscious decision to stop drinking and am actually on day three which has already proven to be painful. Even when I was sober for eight months, I was consumed by constant thoughts about drinking. Do these thoughts ever fade?
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Old 12-11-2009, 03:51 PM
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Yes the thoughts fade... If you find a program of recovery that allows you to recover, not just abstain.

White knuckling it is not recovery.

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Old 12-11-2009, 03:58 PM
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everything is already ok
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Welcome Phan, glad you found us

Originally Posted by Cubile75 View Post
Yes the thoughts fade... If you find a program of recovery that allows you to recover, not just abstain.

White knuckling it is not recovery.

And yet many recovering addicts/alkies go through some of this at some time.

Always Grateful I did not pick up today even though I am no longer beset by physical cravings and mental obsession. I never forget what it was like.

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Old 12-11-2009, 04:03 PM
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On my path.
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Hi Phan,

I'm new here too and don't have any answers for you. There are so many helpful posts and people here, be prepared to read, read, read.

I look forward to seeing you around SR often.

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Old 12-11-2009, 07:30 PM
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Welcome to SR. Look around the site....lots of good stuff here.
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