Welcome, Phan! You sound very much like me. I had social anxiety issues and drinking really seemed to help with that. 25 years later it had almost destroyed me. I used it for every occasion, to numb myself & to cope with life. Trouble is, I didn't grow or learn to deal with anything - I remained stopped in time emotionally. I'm only now realizing what other always knew - there are no short cuts around life's challenges. We must go through them, not around them. Alcohol only seems to make the journey easier. In the end, it made me more shy - even reclusive.
Congratulations on seeing what needs to be done to keep yourself from losing everything. I don't believe in the theory that you have to reach your bottom before seeking recovery.