Artifical

I feel so stupid, i tell myself that enough is enough, i go a few days thinking that I could never ever go back to giving into my addictions (taking painkillers), but here i am, trying to quit again after taking constantly for 2 weeks.

Just wondering what gave you that extra bit of strength that gave you that prolonged period of obstainment, what was it that gave you strength?

FBL

After nearly 30 years of drinking, including almost daily drunkeness for the past 10 years, I guess I just finally had enough. I'm a little over 5 months sober now and I have found my resolve getting a little stronger every day. Don't give up, it DOES get easier.

Threshold

hanging around other recovering addicts here and at NA meetings has helped give me the strength. It also keeps me busy, less time to think about using when I am reading literature, writing on steps, going to meetings or trying to offer support to people here.

And the accountability factor helps too, not like anyone is policing me, but still. I want to do better because I have this posse of peers now, who are doing the right thing..staying clean, and I want to fit in, and I don't want to let them down. Every day of MY clean time...helps them want to stay clean too.

I have these two imaginary ( I think) guardian angels that tap me on the shoulder and say "do you really want to do that?" when I start getting stupid. Silly I know, but YOU asked what gave me strength...

that's where I am right now.

Dee74

Hi Artifical

I quit cos I'd had enough - but I'd had enough before, and I always went back.
The difference this time was support - I needed somewhere to go, and people to be accountable to - to reach out, not feel alone, and to help other people a bit too.

Whether you do that here, or go to NA or a counsellor or a rehab programme - do some thing different, Artifical. Get some support

D

tyler

For me it was making my mind up to do it for MYSELF. I had tried many times for others and always let them down, but when I finally got to the point that I truly realized my life would NEVER get better if I kept it up, I was able to quit. It's only been 7 months, but that is by far the longest stretch in 20 years of using.

Support and help from others is great, but until you are finally able to click that switch in your head that makes you care enought about yourself to face the pain of quitting, chances are you will continue to struggle. Take care.

sourgirlSC

I'm only six days in, but for me it was reaching the point that I felt like my family was completely ashamed of me. But it wasn't that by itself - - there was definitely a religious aspect to it. I happen to be a Christian (which I realize not everyone believes in) and I really got to the point where alcohol was my god instead of Jesus.

So I guess, like others who have replied, I reached a point too. I think that for everyone, there just comes a point when you're ready to change who you are - - to stop doing things that are hurting you. For me, alcohol was treating the symptoms, but not the problem. I would imagine that having a painkiller addiction is different physiologically, but I'm guessing that psychologically, you're taken them because you're trying to treat symptoms too.

What I can definitely tell you for sure is that coming to this site (SR) was the best thing you could have done. The people here have been where we are, and they're very willing to share their experiences with us. I don't know about you, but knowing that you have someone to lean on who knows what you're going through really helps, don't you think?

Welcome to SR. *hugs*

Jester1025

I will echo what others have already said, and that is "support." I must have told myself a thousand times that I was going to quit drinking, but I would never seem to make it past a day or two. However, the support that I have received here at SR, along with the therapy that I currently seek through an Addiction Counselor have together given me the strength and support, which has in turn given me the confidence to truly believe for the first time that I really can make it in this world sober. You have taken a great step by coming to SR.

NewMe11109

Artificial - Don't feel stupid. Recognize it for what it is -- the addiction.

You have no control over it. So, rather than blame yourself (which just drives you back to the addiction), perhaps try something new.

For me, I had to surrender. I surrendered to the fact that I had no control, and that I couldn't do it myself. I was finally honest with myself.

I gave my recovery over to something bigger than myself and asked for help.

Artifical

thanks for your replies guys.

But im seriously struggling with quiting, i've tried so many times and yet i always seem to go back taking things.

people have quit crack, heroin and I cant stop taking flipping painkillers, I just dont know how to get control of myself and keep it?

chrishuggett

I know how you feel I feel so hopeless.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Chris.

I used to feel that way too - this place gave me back some hope. Hope it can be that way for you too.

Keep posting. Start yr own thread and let us know a bit more about yourself, mate.

D

SomeCallMeTim

You're not stupid. You're doing what addicts do. You're a good person with a bad disease. For me when i hit my bottom it was simple. The drugs and booze quit working. I could no longer hide my misery. It was give up or give in. I surrendered all control and asked for help and listened without biased. There is no greater thing than listening to someone who's been there.

least

I can't say exactly what happened to make me want to quit drinking, I guess I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. I couldn't stand the person I had become and wanted my life to improve.

I hope you can muster the strength to stop using. Have you thought of talking to your doctor and asking for help in quitting?

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you joined the family.