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Feeling of Dread...

Old 11-09-2009, 11:00 AM
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Feeling of Dread...

I've been posting for a few weeks now but have yet to fully stop drinking.

Today, for some reason I feel like something REALLY bad is going to happen if I don't stop. You'd think a couple of DWI's in ten years would make this stubborn drunk quit drinking. You'd think that the thought of losing my husband or kids would make this stubborn drunk stop.. But NO. I'm so ashamed of my lack of willpower.

One thing is for sure.. I cannot shake the thought or feeling that something bad is going to happen. This has got to be a sign.

Anyone had that ephiphany to get sober? I'm interested in your thoughts.

Thanks,
Kris
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:23 AM
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Still new to this myself, but I know the feeling all too well. For me I would drink knowing full well that the consequences would be dramatic if "I let it get out of hand", so I tried to "control" it. Lets just say that didn't work out too well. The constant dread only feeds the beast leading to more drinking in an attempt to quiet the fears and insecurities.

What I'm finding though is that no matter how bleak things seem there may be a trun in the road just ahead of what you can see. Trust that the steps you are taking now will lead you down the right path. And if you feel it is a sign, heed it just as you would a sharp turn sign in the road!

I believe we all can do it, and keep your head up! Feeling down, out, and ashamed is just a pitfall, and a dangerous one at that.
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:29 AM
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Hello,

The feelings of dread you are experiencing could be due to your alcohol intake...Alcohol is a depressant.

It also could be the GUT feeling some of us have to change our ways...

You must find a way to stop drinking...

Do you go to meetings?

When you feel the urge to drink, come here and type about how your feeling so we can give you the support you need...
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:32 AM
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I have a serious feeling of dread/anxiety that my life will be ruined if I don't stop drinking and fall into the alcoholism trap. Hence I'm on Day 6 today. Listen to that intuition!
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:34 AM
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Welcome Kris. Some people, no most people, that are alcoholics need help. You can't do it by yourself through sheer will power. If that was the case I would have stopped in my 20s. YOU have to want to be sober more then you want to drink.

Have you tried any forms of recovery? Do you need an in patient rehab? Have you talked to a doctor? Don't wait. Please find a doctor you can talk to. There are many forms of recovery programs. I would say the one most used is AA and NA, but there are others such as Smart Recovery and some that do it through SR alone.

Be happy to know that you can stop the insanity because all you need is a plan of recovery. We have all been in your shoes. We may not have experienced it in exactly the same way as you, but we are all trying to find our path to sobriety and sanity. It can happen for you. It will take some hard work on your side, but it is worth it.
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:34 AM
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I keep attempting to go to meetings. The road to Hell is paved .. you know the saying..

I just have to force myself to go today no matter what. I'm scared about the way I have been feeling. Almost like, no harn no foul yet.. but if I keep on something WILL happen and someone could get hurt.
I do not want that.
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:37 AM
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I do not want that either. Do whatever it takes Kris. Its your life or it is someone else's. Believe me you can prevent a disaster. Go to the meeting. They will be happy you are there. Get some phone numbers if you can. Start small and then one foot in front of the other. You are worth it!!!
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:16 PM
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Kris, What you're feeling is accurate. A lot of really bad things are going to happen if you don't quit. If you keep drinking you'll probably lose your family, then your health, then possibly your sanity, then your life. This disease if fatal. It's also progressive. Your drinking will get worse. And it's cronic. There's no cure. So be afraid. Be very afraid.

Now having said all that negative stuff, there is hope! This disease can be successfully treated. If you recover from alcoholism, none of this has to happen. But willpower alone isn't going to keep you from drinking. You need a support program, and I suggest AA. It's saved my and thousands of other lives. So stop with the excuses about the road to heaven and get to a meeting now. Not next Thursday, not soon, but now! Try a Woman's Only meeting to begin with as you may feel more comfortable. And if you don't like that group, find another. If you're really serious about wanting to quit drinking, stop with the pity party and start doing something positive.

Oh, and go to your doctor and let him/her know what's going on. You may need medical help during detox. And in any event, your doctor has to know about your addiction.
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:41 PM
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Alcoholism is a progessive disease and it will get worse if we don't stop.

There is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
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Old 11-09-2009, 01:59 PM
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Just wanted to reiterate, yes.. something bad WILL happen. And hopefully you live through it.

Quitting drinking is easy.. just dont' drink. The rest is hard.. when you want it bad enough, you'll find the help you need. I just hope you do, before you're wishing you would have.
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Old 11-09-2009, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Krismutt1 View Post
Anyone had that ephiphany to get sober?
If there was any sort of epiphany on the way to my getting sober, it was that all of those thoughts of bad consequences was absolutely not going to keep me sober.

I suffered from the delusion for a long time that each of those consequences was going to be a wake up call and I'd smell the coffee and get sober. Whistling in the dark for this alcoholic. My willpower failed over and over and over.

A spiritual awakening as the result of the 12 steps worked wonders.
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