Welcome Kris. Some people, no most people, that are alcoholics need help. You can't do it by yourself through sheer will power. If that was the case I would have stopped in my 20s. YOU have to want to be sober more then you want to drink.
Have you tried any forms of recovery? Do you need an in patient rehab? Have you talked to a doctor? Don't wait. Please find a doctor you can talk to. There are many forms of recovery programs. I would say the one most used is AA and NA, but there are others such as Smart Recovery and some that do it through SR alone.
Be happy to know that you can stop the insanity because all you need is a plan of recovery. We have all been in your shoes. We may not have experienced it in exactly the same way as you, but we are all trying to find our path to sobriety and sanity. It can happen for you. It will take some hard work on your side, but it is worth it.