Still new to this myself, but I know the feeling all too well. For me I would drink knowing full well that the consequences would be dramatic if "I let it get out of hand", so I tried to "control" it. Lets just say that didn't work out too well. The constant dread only feeds the beast leading to more drinking in an attempt to quiet the fears and insecurities.
What I'm finding though is that no matter how bleak things seem there may be a trun in the road just ahead of what you can see. Trust that the steps you are taking now will lead you down the right path. And if you feel it is a sign, heed it just as you would a sharp turn sign in the road!
I believe we all can do it, and keep your head up! Feeling down, out, and ashamed is just a pitfall, and a dangerous one at that.