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Old 10-20-2009, 11:10 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Hello,

Today was a very positive day for me. I went to AA, felt very nervous and was much busier than I thought. A woman came up to me at the end and gave me her business card and said to call her as a friend if I wanted to talk about anything. Heard a lot of stories and can see a lot of people still struggle 2 years or so later, which I knew to expect yet still a bit hard to hear. My BF has been great and dropped me off, he was like a proud parent waving his kid off on their 1st day of school, telling me not to be nervous and everything-I had not realised how much it has all effected him, despite him repeatidly telling me to stop.

I also told my boss as I have missed a lot of work an the man from the kebab shop had came in shouting at him(we are in the same street as the shop). Talk about sh!tting on your doorstep ! He had said he was going to have a chat to me about my drinking and recommend AA as he has alcoholics in the family. I then went in to apologise to the shopowner and workers who were at first annoyed then very nice and appreciated me coming in. I need to pay for the car, which is only 100 and hopefully means there will be no charges and just the kick up the arse that I needed.

After all this, yes-i would still like to out for a few tonight-which I cannot get my head around!! But going to try an cook a nice meal for my BF getting home from work and get my mind off it. Also going to an AA beginners meeting on Thur, it will be nice to be starting at the same stage as others.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and all the comments. Really glad that Ifound the site, as I was looking forward to coming home and telling you all after I'd finished all the deeds of the day.
:ghug2
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Old 10-20-2009, 11:29 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Drink and drugs will always be there for the taking. I choose to abstain just for today as today is all I have. It works.

I can honestly say that I could never go out "just for a few"... I wouldn't want to anyway and I couldn't. I am an alcoholic and have total acceptance of that fact and that the fairytale of having "just a few" drinks is just that for me, a fairytale!! drinking = blackouts and bad things happening that I have no control over. Powerless.

Nice one for addressing your problems, it takes courage to do that and going to the AA meeting is a good first step, i find SR a valuable resource for maintaing my sobriety also.

Peace and love xxx
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:04 PM   #23 (permalink)
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dear god,

I hadn't even realised I had written "go out for a few" I know that I can't go out for a few but somewhere in my head is still telling me I can. I have been going out "just for a few" for most of my adult life and can never remember after my first few 10. Thanks for pointing that out NEOMARXIST as I had not even realised I was writing that!
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:19 PM   #24 (permalink)
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hi Charmie,

Ive tried to PM you but it says I can't do it until I have 5 posts. It was really good to read your post and see that someone was on the same boat. I wasn't rep'ing but PRing so just standing outside the pub all night with free drink and in the holiday atmosphere..Well at first
KR,
me
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Old 10-20-2009, 01:26 PM   #25 (permalink)
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well mandyana,you have been busy today! wow,making amends already! lol,,,,anyways,yes you cant pm until 5 posts,sorry i forgot! good for you for getting stuck in with the meetings and all.its taken me a few months to find the meetings that suit me but i also attend others for the newcomer coming through the door.keep us posted with how it goes at the newcomers meeting! be open minded,honest and willing,give it your best shot and you will be ok.the going out for a few is normal i would say,if you are like me and are alcoholic.its the great obsession of the alcoholic that one day we will be able to drink like "normal " folk.but you will learn all about this and what alcoholism really is.i suggest at your next meeting you see if you can get the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous,you should hopefully be able to buy one for around 7 or some nice person may be able to give you one.read the doctors opinion and bills story in it and see if you think you can find yourself in there.your in my prayers.
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