Freeport

Good morning, folks. Good night's sleep, a morning weightlifting workout, and feeling great this morning. Dreading a camping trip with my wife's family over Memorial Day Weekend. All they really do is sit around the campfire and drink. Trying to plan ahead so I'll have activities planned with my kids (and other kids) to keep myself from falling into that trap. Also trying not to think too far ahead and focus on not drinking TODAY. Have plans with family tonight. Thanks again for support.

keithj

AA's Big Book has some very specific directions for situations like this on page 100 or so, towards the bottom. I still (after some time sober) use that section as my guidelines for attending such events. If I can't meet the requirements, I don't go. Simple as that. Sobriety is more important.

resacup

Freeport I can relate to you on so many levels. As far as anonimity, I have been to meetings with parents of friends I grew up with, my gynocologist, an owner of the business down the street. There are alcoholics from all walks of life and the most important thing is getting there. I remember feeling like "wow", these people have been through exactly what I am going through. This disease humbles people. No matter what their status is, there is NO judgement in those rooms.

I dread getting together with friends and often think that my fear of drinking will hinder any and all good times from this day forward but you will find out who your true friends are. They are the ones who will say we don't have to drink emphasis on WE. They will do anything to help you recover from your disease because they want you to be around for years to come.

Just keep coming back here every day. I only found this site yesterday but its my new best friend.

Tazman53

Freeport when I read that I thought "My God I could have written that myself a little over 2 1/2 years ago!!!"

One of my daughters is an anorexic, she is in recovery from that now and doing quite well, but while she was in rehab I spent 3 weeks out of town with her and not having anything to really do during the day while she was in IOP there I attended AA meetings at the medical center there, I went to three a day and they were full of every type of Doctor one ever heard of, along with hospital administrators.

In DC there are AA meeting in every major government building including the Capitol building (Gee I wonder what kind of folks attend AA meetings there? LOL). One thing people who attend AA learn is when it comes to alcoholism there is not a single type or class of people that are immune to it, and what I really find amazing is that there is also not a single type or class of people that have not found the solution for thier alcoholism in AA.

I am a Senior Systems Analyst at one of the largest Governement agencies with huge worldwide press exposure, in one single meeting I attend there is one guy who lives under a bridge, a prominent lawyer, a minister, and several business owners. I can assure you that we all would much rather be known as recovering alcoholics who are in AA then the guy we see getting arrested for a DUI or people wispering behind our bcajs about our drinking.

You know I used to think I did such a great job hiding my drinking, well I found out there were very few people who knew me that did not know I had a problem. Now I know why, heavy drinkers smell like booze even in the morning after drinking heavy the night before, that & it is impossible to hide the red eyes and the ashen grey skin. The only person I had fooled about my drinking problem was me!!

You know Freeport I would have a great deal of respect for Ted Kennedy if I heard he was in AA or any other recovery program, but I have no idea if he is or he isn't, what I know of him is he is a drunk who keeps getting re-elected.

Charmie

hello,nice to meet you.i too am an alocholic.you may be interested in a book by AA called living sober.it covers many relevant situations! i wish you well.

jamdls

Many professional association have their own "AA knock-off groups". I work for a professional association and we have a hotline # as well as weekly meetings around the state for members of the profession who are in trouble with alcohol/drugs/depression which is endorsed by the State Board. I volunteer part of my time to do the administrative work for the group and I get to go to their annual conference and it's an amazing group of people. There is help available if you want it.

joedris

Now Taz, Let's not go around putting down our less fortunate brethren, the senators. (Another reason I stayed in VA rather than return to MA when I retired). And Freeport, I really hope you continue to consider going to an AA meeting. I honestly think that whatever slight risk of exposure you might face will be immensely overcome by to benefits you get from going. Don't let pride get in your way, and I don't mean that in a demeaning manner.

Freeport

Pride unfortunately probably does play a role in my aversion to AA. Right now, I'm chugging along (OK, only four days) and feeling pretty confident. My promise to myself is that I will not take another drink before trying a meeting first.
It's only been since Sunday, but now that I'm not drinking, it seems like alcohol is everywhere. Billboards, commercials, TV news segments on local breweries, newspaper features on taverns. We really do get pounded with images of alcohol everywhere. I don't think that's just an American phenomenon.
Have family visiting this weekend, which might pose a challenge. But it's my choice, and my choice is to not drink today.
Thanks again for support everyone.

Wolfchild

Welcome and congratulations on getting another day sober!!
Hopefully you will get over your fears and stop making excuses. You can do what you want, but please remember, the whole of AA is founded upon one alcoholic helping another alcoholic. If that seems too hard for you, well, good luck on finding what works for you.

CarolD

Hi.....
Glad to know your initial de tox went smoothly.
I certainly hope you will be sucessful
maintaining your new sobriety.

There are people...even alcoholics...who are happily sober
without a structured program for recovery.
however....from my observation all made drastic chages
in their lifestyles.

I found that was necessary for me too...and my committment
to God and AA eased me into a different way of living.

Life without alcohol is good
Life in recovery has been fantastic....

Blessings to you and your family

Zencat

Although I don't understand the pride angle ...I do know about addiction treatment and for me it has little to do with AA. I say find what works for you and stick to it...at least that's what I do and it works.

Anyhwo WTG on your clean time

CarolD

Freeport...

Please check out this link from our Alcoholism Forum
it has a list of various recovery programs for you to explore
in case you are interested

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

Freeport

Thank you everyone for the kind words and advice. I've made it one week, and feel great. Had a pretty strong temptation Friday night. My parents were in town and they stopped at a liquor store with my wife before I came home from work. They called and asked, "Can we get you anything?" It was relatively easy to say "No."
One fact I constantly remind myself: Looking back at a day, a few days, or a week of sobriety, I never regret not drinking. That is, I don't look back on Friday night and think, "Man, do I wish I'd tied one on that night" or "Do I ever regret not getting lit up last night and being hung over this morning."
As you can probably tell from the first paragraph, I have not discussed my decision to sober up with my wife. I’m afraid to say it aloud to her. I’m afraid she’ll say, “No you’re not an alcoholic. You just need to limit how much you drink when you drink.” She doesn't realize that in my head, I've been down that road, tried it, and I can't do it.
Eventually, we need to have the talk, don't we?
Bring on the tough love!

NEOMARXIST

yer man, it may be best to keep it to yourself for a bit and just not drinjk and then it will become apparent to your wife/family and they may make less of an issue of it.
In my experience talking about my issues about drinking to others (Who don't have the same Mindset/experience) will only encourage you to try to moderate your drinking but continue to drink. There is still very little knowledge about alcoholism/addiction to those who it is not directly affecting.
Remeber the old saying "It Takes One To Know One"

Philly

You did well for your first week. The next day is when we feel the best. It is a great feeling when others are hungover and we are not. I really enjoy Mondays now also. I used to hate Mondays because of how bad I felt.

I think you are leaving the door wide open for you to drink again. That may not be a good idea. I was sort of pushed into quitting so most knew already. We are afraid of failure which may be why you are keeping it to yourself. If my door was not shut I am 99% sure that I would have drank again. Good luck and keep posting you made your first weekend that is hugh.

NEOMARXIST

Thats why AA is a good option to consider I guess.

"It takes one to know one"

Freeport

Neo and Philly make legit points. In my gut, I think Philly probably is right about me fearing failure, and therefore leaving the door open. Then if I fail, only I know about it. I operate that way in other facets of my life, too. But I also feel like I've been down the exact road Neo describes. I guess when I decide to tell my wife, it's got to be clear and final. It can't be "I'm working on controlling my drinking." It's got to be: "I've quit drinking once and for all. I'm sober. I'm a recovering alcoholic and proud of it."

Tazman53

I would tend to agree with Philly on that one, why in the world would you want to keep your not drinking from your wife? No accountability? Do not get me wrong, it is all up to you, but I spent a great many years keeping the fact that I had quit drinking from everyone, looking back on those days it was easy as pie to drink again, the only person I was letting down was me.

Congrats on a week sober, that is a great accomplishment. It is something that unless one is an alcoholic or an addict can not really be appreciated. My wife is very happy that I quit, but she still admits she does not understand why I just couldn't quit. Even though she knows the doctor said I had to be medically detoxed.

Freeport

I'm in a deadline-oriented business where my deadline-week ends on Tuesdays, so this afternoon is tough. Just feels natural to head to a watering hole or liquor store after work. Gotta break that cycle of thinking. Going to leave a little early, then hit the road with running shoes instead. Writing it out here – planning it – makes it real and easier to implement. I promise myself I'll be working on Day 10 tomorrow!

Philly

Freeport- Hope you enjoy your run. I am having a problem with my knee and I am very upset about it. Nothing gives me the thrill like after a good run. Planning ahead for situations helps alot. I know I would have had a harder time through the holidays. Now I am coming up on summertime. I have a shore house which we go to every weekend. Driving down last Friday night still brought triggers for me. When we figure out all the triggers we can better prepare. Good luck and keep up the good work.