Time to wake up
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 246
Day 10 under my belt and feeling good. Went for a run Tuesday evening after beer craving hit at end of the day. Ugly run in brutal heat, but survived -- so did sobriety. This weekend will have some challenging moments as my wife has scheduled a bunch of holiday soirees. I'll be OK. I'm thinking many of the people I use as an excuse for drinking do the same with me. When I'm not drinking, several of them won't either. SR has helped me tremendously. Come Tuesday, post weekend, I'll have half a month under my belt. Looking forward to a sober Memorial Day Weekend.
As an aside, do any of you struggle with "Have to be a good host!" syndrome? I don't want beer in the house, but normally we'd have some for any guests that visit for BBQs, this weekend or in the future. How do you folks handle that? Encourage BYOB? Be open about not providing nor wanting it around?
Almost told my wife about my decision two nights ago but chickened out. I've read other posts from folks with similar internal struggles. Yes, part of it is covering my butt in case I fail. I get that, and it's inexcusable. The other part is a genuine fear that my wife will think she's now wedded to a vapid, milquetoast automaton when I declare myself a recovering alcoholic. She likes to go out a couple times a year and drink a couple stiff drinks with me, then hit the movies, a stage show, whatever. (Otherwise, she rarely drinks.) Will she think I'm boring? Will she tolerate a future with a guy who avoids resorts or anything associated with a drinking culture? Will she think I've lost about 98 percent of my personality? Maybe if I can explain that I've been sober for a month or two and am still an interesting person with whom she can have a good time, it will come across as less of a shock.
Spank away...
As an aside, do any of you struggle with "Have to be a good host!" syndrome? I don't want beer in the house, but normally we'd have some for any guests that visit for BBQs, this weekend or in the future. How do you folks handle that? Encourage BYOB? Be open about not providing nor wanting it around?
Almost told my wife about my decision two nights ago but chickened out. I've read other posts from folks with similar internal struggles. Yes, part of it is covering my butt in case I fail. I get that, and it's inexcusable. The other part is a genuine fear that my wife will think she's now wedded to a vapid, milquetoast automaton when I declare myself a recovering alcoholic. She likes to go out a couple times a year and drink a couple stiff drinks with me, then hit the movies, a stage show, whatever. (Otherwise, she rarely drinks.) Will she think I'm boring? Will she tolerate a future with a guy who avoids resorts or anything associated with a drinking culture? Will she think I've lost about 98 percent of my personality? Maybe if I can explain that I've been sober for a month or two and am still an interesting person with whom she can have a good time, it will come across as less of a shock.
Spank away...
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Freeport I sure am not going to spank you, I will tell you that my wife, family and REAL friends (Not drinking buddies) enjoy my sober company far more then they do the old drunk me. They enjoy not hearing the same story over and over again, or me acting like a complete ass. They enjoy my new found ability to carry on an intelligent conversation.
In regards to being a good host..... well if somoe one I invite over wants to BYOB that is just fine with me as long as they take any thing left over with them when they leave. Looking back on the booze I used to make sure was in good supply when ever anyone come over, well 95% of that booze wound up being consumed by me! My real freinds could care less if there is something to drink, real freinds come over to see my family and I, not to drink, if they just want to drink they know where the bars are.
I have yet in the last 2 1/2 years have one single person who came to my house ask if I was going to have booze or not, normal people are just as happy drinking tea, coffee, or sodas. I have learned that the only people who care if there is going to be booze where they are going are either planning to get drunk or they are active alcoholics. I know that I went no where except work unless I could drink there and I always made sure I brought some just in case they had none or ran out.
Thanks to the program of AA I can and do go where ever I want to and to me I could care less if there is booze there or others are drinking there, resorts, casinos, sporting events, it does not matter, it is no longer an issue. Now I will clarify and say that in early sobriety I avoided places where drinking was going on, but it has been over 2 years since I have felt that way. Oh yea and I do not go to a bar or a beer bust, there is only one reason for an alcoholic to go to either of those and that is to get drunk.
You know when I first got sober my biggest fear was that life would end for me and no one would want anything to do with me because I would become boring. What I have found in sobrity is that life has begun anew, there is not one single thing I can not do sober that I did while I was drinking and what is really neat is sober I do it better and I remember what I did the next day!!! Oh & guess what else I have found in sobriety, there are a great many things you can only do sober, they can not be done drunk or while drinking.
Freeport I had no idea how freeing and fun sobriety would be, I was scared to death that I was going to be bored to death and not have a freind left in the world and my family would not want any thing to do with a boring sober person, instead I have found just the opposite to be true. I am sure you are thinking "That old fool is full of crap!" I used to think the same thing when I would here people in meetings talking to each other about all the different things they were doing because it was a whole lot more then I had done in years.
In regards to being a good host..... well if somoe one I invite over wants to BYOB that is just fine with me as long as they take any thing left over with them when they leave. Looking back on the booze I used to make sure was in good supply when ever anyone come over, well 95% of that booze wound up being consumed by me! My real freinds could care less if there is something to drink, real freinds come over to see my family and I, not to drink, if they just want to drink they know where the bars are.
I have yet in the last 2 1/2 years have one single person who came to my house ask if I was going to have booze or not, normal people are just as happy drinking tea, coffee, or sodas. I have learned that the only people who care if there is going to be booze where they are going are either planning to get drunk or they are active alcoholics. I know that I went no where except work unless I could drink there and I always made sure I brought some just in case they had none or ran out.
Thanks to the program of AA I can and do go where ever I want to and to me I could care less if there is booze there or others are drinking there, resorts, casinos, sporting events, it does not matter, it is no longer an issue. Now I will clarify and say that in early sobriety I avoided places where drinking was going on, but it has been over 2 years since I have felt that way. Oh yea and I do not go to a bar or a beer bust, there is only one reason for an alcoholic to go to either of those and that is to get drunk.
You know when I first got sober my biggest fear was that life would end for me and no one would want anything to do with me because I would become boring. What I have found in sobrity is that life has begun anew, there is not one single thing I can not do sober that I did while I was drinking and what is really neat is sober I do it better and I remember what I did the next day!!! Oh & guess what else I have found in sobriety, there are a great many things you can only do sober, they can not be done drunk or while drinking.
Freeport I had no idea how freeing and fun sobriety would be, I was scared to death that I was going to be bored to death and not have a freind left in the world and my family would not want any thing to do with a boring sober person, instead I have found just the opposite to be true. I am sure you are thinking "That old fool is full of crap!" I used to think the same thing when I would here people in meetings talking to each other about all the different things they were doing because it was a whole lot more then I had done in years.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Congratulations on getting another day sober!
i was very tempted to post a spanking smiley until i remembered that alcoholism does a far better job of that than any of us could ever do. i appreciate your truthfulness in admitting that you still have problems. Why not go to a few AA meetings and begin asking for help from others who are recovering from this spiritual, mental, and emotional disease? If nothing else, you could at least pick up some literature to read.
i was very tempted to post a spanking smiley until i remembered that alcoholism does a far better job of that than any of us could ever do. i appreciate your truthfulness in admitting that you still have problems. Why not go to a few AA meetings and begin asking for help from others who are recovering from this spiritual, mental, and emotional disease? If nothing else, you could at least pick up some literature to read.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 246
I posted details of my weekend in the 30 days and under thread this morning, but wanted to chime in here, too. I'm at Day 15 after a challenging weekend of Memorial Day Weekend gatherings featuring lots of booze. Managed to get through it all with root beer and bottled water, and frankly, it wasn't that hard. Fighting off a cold, so I'm not in tip-top shape, but I feel good about my health and safety over the weekend. Halfway to a month!
Thank you for the kind words and support on SR these first two weeks.
Thank you for the kind words and support on SR these first two weeks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Congrats on 15 days Freeport 
and nice work on making it through the weekend.
In regards to not telling your wife, did she not notice that you were not drinking this weekend? It is interesting that a lot of people don't but we think it is the core of the universe if we are drinking or not ;-)
My partner is quite happy when I am not drinking & not getting too loud or drunk at parties/events, the fact that I also had energy the next day & was able to get out & do something instead of avoid things because I was hungover. Lastly, I have done some pretty stupid & embarrassing things while under the influence.
Can you share with us in more detail, I am also working on my early recovery.
All of the best
NB
and nice work on making it through the weekend.In regards to not telling your wife, did she not notice that you were not drinking this weekend? It is interesting that a lot of people don't but we think it is the core of the universe if we are drinking or not ;-)
My partner is quite happy when I am not drinking & not getting too loud or drunk at parties/events, the fact that I also had energy the next day & was able to get out & do something instead of avoid things because I was hungover. Lastly, I have done some pretty stupid & embarrassing things while under the influence.
Can you share with us in more detail, I am also working on my early recovery.
All of the best
NB
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 85
Congratulations on 15 days, that's impressive! I'm on Day 10 myself, and tonight I'll also have completed my 10th meeting. To be honest, I couldn't imagine doing this without the meetings. Probably the most important part for me was going into the rooms and saying "Hi, I'm C&B, and I'm an alcoholic / addict." There's something humbling and freeing at the same time in admitting that. I think most of us need meetings and the program to make sobriety work, but I do not doubt there are people out there who can stay sober through willpower alone. I am not one of them. Only you can decide if you are. If you do fail on your own (and I sincerely, honestly pray that you do not!) consider the AA approach. There's strength in numbers, and if you need help the people there will give you that help and so much more.
For now, keep up the good work, and remember that you can't get drunk if you don't drink. It's that simple.
Best of luck to you.
For now, keep up the good work, and remember that you can't get drunk if you don't drink. It's that simple.
Best of luck to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 246
Thank you everyone who posted yesterday. Your support has been key in me making it to 16 days. As I've posted before, Tuesdays typically are tough days for me because of my deadline schedule, but thinking back to late yesterday afternoon and evening, I really didn't even think about beer or booze. It was a busy day with other excitement, but I wasn't mentally distracted by the fact that I wasn't drinking.
When I have been drinking in the past, I've been impatient in the evening with my wife or kids as I tried to get them in bed so I could sit down and start cracking beers. When I'm sober, those feeling don't exist, and I strictly focus on caring for my family or being otherwise productive. Unfortunately, there's no in between for me. I'm either sober, or I figure I'm off the wagon anyway and four or five nights a week of some level of drinking is OK. I'm done with that lifestyle, and if I ever feel tempted to return to it, I'll attend AA meetings first.
My wife probably has noticed that I'm not drinking. When we've gone out, I've told her to go ahead and enjoy some cocktails and I'll be the DD. She doesn't argue. Eventually, she'll probably ask, but I intend to sit her down on my one month anniversary and explain my decision. I want to show her that my lifestyle change doesn't have to be her burden.
Thank you again everyone for all of your support.
When I have been drinking in the past, I've been impatient in the evening with my wife or kids as I tried to get them in bed so I could sit down and start cracking beers. When I'm sober, those feeling don't exist, and I strictly focus on caring for my family or being otherwise productive. Unfortunately, there's no in between for me. I'm either sober, or I figure I'm off the wagon anyway and four or five nights a week of some level of drinking is OK. I'm done with that lifestyle, and if I ever feel tempted to return to it, I'll attend AA meetings first.
My wife probably has noticed that I'm not drinking. When we've gone out, I've told her to go ahead and enjoy some cocktails and I'll be the DD. She doesn't argue. Eventually, she'll probably ask, but I intend to sit her down on my one month anniversary and explain my decision. I want to show her that my lifestyle change doesn't have to be her burden.
Thank you again everyone for all of your support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 246
Thank you everyone who posted yesterday. Your support has been key in me making it to 16 days. As I've posted before, Tuesdays typically are tough days for me because of my deadline schedule, but thinking back to late yesterday afternoon and evening, I really didn't even think about beer or booze. It was a busy day with other excitement, but I wasn't mentally distracted by the fact that I wasn't drinking.
When I have been drinking in the past, I've been impatient in the evening with my wife or kids as I tried to get them in bed so I could sit down and start cracking beers. When I'm sober, those feeling don't exist, and I strictly focus on caring for my family or being otherwise productive. Unfortunately, there's no in between for me. I'm either sober, or I figure I'm off the wagon anyway and four or five nights a week of some level of drinking is OK. I'm done with that lifestyle, and if I ever feel tempted to return to it, I'll attend AA meetings first.
My wife probably has noticed that I'm not drinking. When we've gone out, I've told her to go ahead and enjoy some cocktails and I'll be the DD. She doesn't argue. Eventually, she'll probably ask, but I intend to sit her down on my one month anniversary and explain my decision. I want to show her that my lifestyle change doesn't have to be her burden.
I'm traveling for work on Friday, which sometimes has been an excuse to hang out in airport bars. That will not happen two days from now.
Thank you again everyone for all of your support.
When I have been drinking in the past, I've been impatient in the evening with my wife or kids as I tried to get them in bed so I could sit down and start cracking beers. When I'm sober, those feeling don't exist, and I strictly focus on caring for my family or being otherwise productive. Unfortunately, there's no in between for me. I'm either sober, or I figure I'm off the wagon anyway and four or five nights a week of some level of drinking is OK. I'm done with that lifestyle, and if I ever feel tempted to return to it, I'll attend AA meetings first.
My wife probably has noticed that I'm not drinking. When we've gone out, I've told her to go ahead and enjoy some cocktails and I'll be the DD. She doesn't argue. Eventually, she'll probably ask, but I intend to sit her down on my one month anniversary and explain my decision. I want to show her that my lifestyle change doesn't have to be her burden.
I'm traveling for work on Friday, which sometimes has been an excuse to hang out in airport bars. That will not happen two days from now.
Thank you again everyone for all of your support.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by Freeport 
When I have been drinking in the past, I've been impatient in the evening with my wife or kids as I tried to get them in bed so I could sit down and start cracking beers. When I'm sober, those feeling don't exist, and I strictly focus on caring for my family or being otherwise productive.
I'm learning to enjoy that extra time myself. It's relaxing not having to worry about that.
Hang in there, I'll be thinking about you Friday, stay out of those airport bars, even if the only reason is that they're too damn expensive!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 246
Day 21! Feeling good.
Spent about 5 hours Friday afternoon in big airports. But stayed out of bars! Sat by my gate, people-watched, played with my phone, and read No Country for Old Men. Not a real pick-me-up book -- exactly like the movie -- but pretty good. I'd recommend.
Everyone have a good sober week!
Spent about 5 hours Friday afternoon in big airports. But stayed out of bars! Sat by my gate, people-watched, played with my phone, and read No Country for Old Men. Not a real pick-me-up book -- exactly like the movie -- but pretty good. I'd recommend.
Everyone have a good sober week!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Hi Freeport,
Glad you are doing well. Airports seem to be really bad for some if you spend alot of time there and that was one of your drinking spots. Good you are finding other things to do. I missed out on alot of reading while drinking, my mind would just wander and then I would have to go back and reread. By the time I was in full force drinking I would limit my reading to looking at pictures in magazines. The good part about that is all the good books I have yet to read. There is a forum here for readers. It gives great suggestions now I just need more time to read which an airport is ideal. Good luck and keep up the good work.
Glad you are doing well. Airports seem to be really bad for some if you spend alot of time there and that was one of your drinking spots. Good you are finding other things to do. I missed out on alot of reading while drinking, my mind would just wander and then I would have to go back and reread. By the time I was in full force drinking I would limit my reading to looking at pictures in magazines. The good part about that is all the good books I have yet to read. There is a forum here for readers. It gives great suggestions now I just need more time to read which an airport is ideal. Good luck and keep up the good work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 246
Day 23 for this cat. Feeling good. Working out and running. Caught myself home alone last night for 90 minutes. Did a double-tale at a bottle of Jameson whiskey we keep at the house. That probably shouldn't be sitting out for multiple reasons. Nonetheless, I didn't drink, and that's another hurdle cleared.
Speaking of hurdles, my brother-in-law called and wants to play golf with his family this weekend. Though I'm reasonably athletic, I don't get golf nor do I particularly like it. (Sports that drive me nuts seem to defeat the purpose of exercise.) Anyway, last time we golfed as a family, I sat in clubhouse w/my father-in-law and drank while the rest chased that stupid white ball. No worries: I'll either chase the white ball, or find some positive activity. A simple threat to sobriety that I intend to plan my life around.
Trying to lose some weight, too, and avoiding sweets arguably has been a bigger challenge than avoiding alcohol. Perhaps I'm biting off too much at once. That said, I don't feel too bad sneaking a few sweets when I'm sober and exercising as much as I am. Am I mixing my addictions? Will slipping up on one cause me to slip up on t'other?
Speaking of hurdles, my brother-in-law called and wants to play golf with his family this weekend. Though I'm reasonably athletic, I don't get golf nor do I particularly like it. (Sports that drive me nuts seem to defeat the purpose of exercise.) Anyway, last time we golfed as a family, I sat in clubhouse w/my father-in-law and drank while the rest chased that stupid white ball. No worries: I'll either chase the white ball, or find some positive activity. A simple threat to sobriety that I intend to plan my life around.
Trying to lose some weight, too, and avoiding sweets arguably has been a bigger challenge than avoiding alcohol. Perhaps I'm biting off too much at once. That said, I don't feel too bad sneaking a few sweets when I'm sober and exercising as much as I am. Am I mixing my addictions? Will slipping up on one cause me to slip up on t'other?
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Congrats on staying sober freeport, I sure picked up on the sweets when I was in early recovery, the sugar in the sweets lessened the craving for the hollow suger in the booze! My craving for sweets went down the further I got away from my last drink.
I will say this, I prefer the extra weight over being a drunk! LOL
I will say this, I prefer the extra weight over being a drunk! LOL
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Originally Posted by Freeport
Am I mixing my addictions? Will slipping up on one cause me to slip up on t'other?
These questions may help you to clarify your awareness...
Addiction is a cunning enemy of Life.
1. Are any of your activities taking away your freedom to live?
Addiction is characterized by obsession and compulsion.
2. Is your mind or actions consumed with excessive self gratification?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
