Who else gets really depressed when you stop drinking?
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
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Originally Posted by sfgirl 
I agree that it seems on these boards that everyone is so chipper which is sort of annoying. Or people have little cute phrases for how fantastic sobriety is. Also annoying to me. Because that is far from how I experience it, at least at this present time, but I am still early in. I haven't had any major bouts of depression but I have had days where I don't want to get out of bed certainly, days where I am super weepy, feeling empty, and then the next day I'm okay. Really it is sort of like a roller coaster but I would say I have spent more time on the bottom than the top.
But I have learned that I can't judge my choice to be sober on my feelings, on my being sad or happy or whatever. I would be lying if I said that I am not waiting around to get truly happy but I think that that is the great myth that sobriety=happiness. If only it were that easy. Feelings come and go, ebb and flow, and part of being drunk for so long is that you get used to not feeling them, if you base your decisions on how you feel then nothing is permanent because you aren't going to be happy forever or sad forever. Sobreity, the will to stay sober, has to be based in something else.
That said if you do suffer from clinical depression or something else and use booze to self-medicate then those feelings probably take on a much more permanent quality. But luckily if you see a doctor there is hopefully a more permanent and safe solution than alcohol.
But I have learned that I can't judge my choice to be sober on my feelings, on my being sad or happy or whatever. I would be lying if I said that I am not waiting around to get truly happy but I think that that is the great myth that sobriety=happiness. If only it were that easy. Feelings come and go, ebb and flow, and part of being drunk for so long is that you get used to not feeling them, if you base your decisions on how you feel then nothing is permanent because you aren't going to be happy forever or sad forever. Sobreity, the will to stay sober, has to be based in something else.
That said if you do suffer from clinical depression or something else and use booze to self-medicate then those feelings probably take on a much more permanent quality. But luckily if you see a doctor there is hopefully a more permanent and safe solution than alcohol.
Now that I am approaching 2 wks I realize my anxiety was actually caused by my drinking. So I am sorry if you think people are chipper or trying to get through this the best way they know how. But it works for some of us that way. All the best to you.
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It's like this IMO. Some people's issues are totally the alcohol. Get rid of the alcohol and they get "chipper" or on that "pink cloud," as they say in AA.
Difference is, some of us used alcohol as a way to deal with underlying psychiatric issues. Take away the alcohol and the issue does not go away. That's my experience. Depression preceded my ever picking up a drink. I too get annoyed with the chipper stuff, but to each his own and God Bless 'em if removing the alcohol does it for them. It just doesn't do it for me. And I do get annoyed when people make it all seem so simple and at times I really think they "don't get it."
At any rate, went to my shrink today and he's surprised the meds are not kicking in by now - so it's another drug for me. I am really getting sick of meds but I know what happens when I go off of them.
Difference is, some of us used alcohol as a way to deal with underlying psychiatric issues. Take away the alcohol and the issue does not go away. That's my experience. Depression preceded my ever picking up a drink. I too get annoyed with the chipper stuff, but to each his own and God Bless 'em if removing the alcohol does it for them. It just doesn't do it for me. And I do get annoyed when people make it all seem so simple and at times I really think they "don't get it."
At any rate, went to my shrink today and he's surprised the meds are not kicking in by now - so it's another drug for me. I am really getting sick of meds but I know what happens when I go off of them.
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Originally Posted by Katie09
It's like this IMO. Some people's issues are totally the alcohol. Get rid of the alcohol and they get "chipper" or on that "pink cloud," as they say in AA.
Difference is, some of us used alcohol as a way to deal with underlying psychiatric issues. Take away the alcohol and the issue does not go away. That's my experience. Depression preceded my ever picking up a drink. I too get annoyed with the chipper stuff, but to each his own and God Bless 'em if removing the alcohol does it for them. It just doesn't do it for me. And I do get annoyed when people make it all seem so simple and at times I really think they "don't get it."
Difference is, some of us used alcohol as a way to deal with underlying psychiatric issues. Take away the alcohol and the issue does not go away. That's my experience. Depression preceded my ever picking up a drink. I too get annoyed with the chipper stuff, but to each his own and God Bless 'em if removing the alcohol does it for them. It just doesn't do it for me. And I do get annoyed when people make it all seem so simple and at times I really think they "don't get it."
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I totally used drinking to numb out! And sometimes it was totally in the short term, like your example Mariposa. I get frustrated or something or anxious and needed alcohol to deal. Sometimes I wouldn't really make the link but now I am seeing it more clearly. And then there is the issue of the numbing out of things that happened to me a long time ago, things I have wanted to numb out, forget, ignore for years, like sexual abuse, which unfortunately then drinking made more sexual abuse happen, it is an awesome viscous cycle, then more booze to deal, etc. So I think that finally stopping the booze now and dealing with the feelings that sometimes those feelings are surfacing and those feelings are so difficult to deal with. It isn't something like poof, I'm better. This is probably why I spend more days lately in depression mode, although this last week I have been feeling less on the depression side of things. I don't know Katie, I think the thing is, because I am on meds too is that there are two components, one is getting the meds perfectly tuned to take care of the biochemical depression, but it can't make everything perfect, you know? There are things you have to go through feeling at a certain point and you can't avoid for life. And that sucks but maybe it is good? It will pass and you will be better for it. Is that a cute saying 
?
?
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
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I know for me in sobriety, I've learned to look at things differently. I've learned feelings come and go. I've had to change the way I see things. It's been an exercise in attitude adjustment. I had to change my mind set.
I've found making a gratitude list helps me see the better things in my life and not focus on what sucks at the moment. In fact, at the beginning, I was so busy just trying to find items for the gratitude list it took my mind off whatever negative stuff was swirling around me.
It gets to be a habit of mind.
Does that make sense?
Love,
Lenina
I've found making a gratitude list helps me see the better things in my life and not focus on what sucks at the moment. In fact, at the beginning, I was so busy just trying to find items for the gratitude list it took my mind off whatever negative stuff was swirling around me.
It gets to be a habit of mind.
Does that make sense?
Love,
Lenina
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
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Everything is different for everyone, And yes most of us have underlying issues that cause us to continue to drink, I very much started drinking alot to numb, forget, escape. Don't think for one minute I am not facing a sh1tload of troubles, leagal, $, family, health. But I guess I have learned even with very heavy drinking - yeah for that night I would forget my upcoming court dates, or my Tax audit, Or my very sick mother! Or even the fact that I can't find a job & have no idea how I am going to keep my house! Yep I feel completely over whelmed most of the time.
But what I have come to realize is no matter how many bottles a have a week I drink, the same crap is there the next day, just compounded because I ignored again the night before.
So to move forward is ALL I have at this point. I try to be positive because I am trying to make things better for myself & hopefully make friends & a support system here that will be with me for a long time!
But what I have come to realize is no matter how many bottles a have a week I drink, the same crap is there the next day, just compounded because I ignored again the night before.
So to move forward is ALL I have at this point. I try to be positive because I am trying to make things better for myself & hopefully make friends & a support system here that will be with me for a long time!
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ToABetterMe~ Being positive is the only thing a lot of us have, so I understand completely where you are coming from. We all have things we are dealing with, I don't think any of us implied you didn't and I apologize if I did in any way =)
I can't speak for anyone else but MYSELF, so that's what I'll do. Like I said, I still get those feelings of anger, frustration, completely and totally overwhelmed at times but I no longer shove them aside by drinking. I'm learning new ways to cope. It's not easy but I'm getting there. There are days that simply shifting my thinking to a more positive place helps, other days is a lot harder to get out of that funk. On the days that it's a lot harder is when I feel a sense of "frustration" with chipperness and it's not because the *people* annoy me or what they are doing annoys me. BUT because *I* am grouchy and on those days it doesn't take much to aggravate me! lol So those are the days I either stay off the board or read and not post. Because if there is one thing I won't do is damper anyone's enthusiasm or good feelings, kwim?
Keep up the good work and the positivity, it's a wonderful thing =)
I can't speak for anyone else but MYSELF, so that's what I'll do. Like I said, I still get those feelings of anger, frustration, completely and totally overwhelmed at times but I no longer shove them aside by drinking. I'm learning new ways to cope. It's not easy but I'm getting there. There are days that simply shifting my thinking to a more positive place helps, other days is a lot harder to get out of that funk. On the days that it's a lot harder is when I feel a sense of "frustration" with chipperness and it's not because the *people* annoy me or what they are doing annoys me. BUT because *I* am grouchy and on those days it doesn't take much to aggravate me! lol So those are the days I either stay off the board or read and not post. Because if there is one thing I won't do is damper anyone's enthusiasm or good feelings, kwim?
Keep up the good work and the positivity, it's a wonderful thing =)
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Originally Posted by Mariposa18
ToABetterMe~ Being positive is the only thing a lot of us have, so I understand completely where you are coming from. We all have things we are dealing with, I don't think any of us implied you didn't and I apologize if I did in any way =)
I can't speak for anyone else but MYSELF, so that's what I'll do. Like I said, I still get those feelings of anger, frustration, completely and totally overwhelmed at times but I no longer shove them aside by drinking. I'm learning new ways to cope. It's not easy but I'm getting there. There are days that simply shifting my thinking to a more positive place helps, other days is a lot harder to get out of that funk. On the days that it's a lot harder is when I feel a sense of "frustration" with chipperness and it's not because the *people* annoy me or what they are doing annoys me. BUT because *I* am grouchy and on those days it doesn't take much to aggravate me! lol So those are the days I either stay off the board or read and not post. Because if there is one thing I won't do is damper anyone's enthusiasm or good feelings, kwim?
Keep up the good work and the positivity, it's a wonderful thing =)
I can't speak for anyone else but MYSELF, so that's what I'll do. Like I said, I still get those feelings of anger, frustration, completely and totally overwhelmed at times but I no longer shove them aside by drinking. I'm learning new ways to cope. It's not easy but I'm getting there. There are days that simply shifting my thinking to a more positive place helps, other days is a lot harder to get out of that funk. On the days that it's a lot harder is when I feel a sense of "frustration" with chipperness and it's not because the *people* annoy me or what they are doing annoys me. BUT because *I* am grouchy and on those days it doesn't take much to aggravate me! lol So those are the days I either stay off the board or read and not post. Because if there is one thing I won't do is damper anyone's enthusiasm or good feelings, kwim?
Keep up the good work and the positivity, it's a wonderful thing =)
I think you SHOULD come & post on your down days, its REAL! Its life, Its what we all deal with. I think about drinking EVERYDAY!
Hell I left court and got so much sh1t thrown at me & felt so overwhelmed that, even while sitting in my DIA hearing (which is where they evaluate my drinking & give their recommendation to the judge as far as my punishment)
My thought was, if I could walk out of here & have a drink right now I would!!
Crazy huh.
I wish you would post when you are struggleing, I know I have. It helps to know we all fight demonds daily. This is no cake walk & we all know it. But we are all here for the same reason & its important that we all understand that everyone has different ways of dealing, and living through recovery.
All the Best to you hon!
~Jules
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ToABetterMe~ You're right =) When I'm down is when I should post the most and that is when I tend to withdraw and not talk to ANYONE! Even IRL, I won't call my BF, Mom, anybody. My Friends can always tell when I'm down because I get quiet! lol I know that's when I need to ask for support and help the most, I'm working on that. But when I have *those days* I'm so angry at so many things I worry if I post I'll be too harsh or hurt someone because of my mood, kwim?
Yes, we are all here for the same reason. To get rid of these demons once and for all! With each others help and support along the way =)
XOXO
Yes, we are all here for the same reason. To get rid of these demons once and for all! With each others help and support along the way =)
XOXO
Last edited by Mariposa18; 02-03-2009 at 07:03 AM. Reason: spelling
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Originally Posted by Katie09
It's like this IMO. Some people's issues are totally the alcohol. Get rid of the alcohol and they get "chipper" or on that "pink cloud," as they say in AA.
Difference is, some of us used alcohol as a way to deal with underlying psychiatric issues. Take away the alcohol and the issue does not go away. That's my experience. Depression preceded my ever picking up a drink. I too get annoyed with the chipper stuff, but to each his own and God Bless 'em if removing the alcohol does it for them. It just doesn't do it for me. And I do get annoyed when people make it all seem so simple and at times I really think they "don't get it."
At any rate, went to my shrink today and he's surprised the meds are not kicking in by now - so it's another drug for me. I am really getting sick of meds but I know what happens when I go off of them.
Difference is, some of us used alcohol as a way to deal with underlying psychiatric issues. Take away the alcohol and the issue does not go away. That's my experience. Depression preceded my ever picking up a drink. I too get annoyed with the chipper stuff, but to each his own and God Bless 'em if removing the alcohol does it for them. It just doesn't do it for me. And I do get annoyed when people make it all seem so simple and at times I really think they "don't get it."
At any rate, went to my shrink today and he's surprised the meds are not kicking in by now - so it's another drug for me. I am really getting sick of meds but I know what happens when I go off of them.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Originally Posted by Mastermind1987
There are people who drink heavily who aren't alcoholic. So when they quit drinking their problems go away, because the they were only related to alcohol. The real alcoholic has an underlying problem with living life, which causes them to keep going back to alcohol despite it's negative consequences. It is easy for a heavy drinking non-alcoholic to quit alcohol, given a sufficient reason to do so. But no so with the real alcoholic. The real alcoholic doesn't drink because of outside circumstances. He/she drinks because of whats going on inside.
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Originally Posted by ToABetterMe
I beg to differ, not going to argue the definition of alcoholism, but your statement is not accurate.
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Originally Posted by Mastermind1987
No it is fact. The real alcoholic has an internal conflict. I drank when I had a job, cars, clothes, money, house and the whole nine. I drank when I had nothing. I drank when health was great and I drank when the doc told me it wasn't a good idea to continue. The outside doesn't matter to the real alcoholic. I have a daily reprieve from alcohol based on the matienence of my spiritual condition. The internal condition. I think alot of people in AA and in other programs are not real alcoholics, and they make the real alcoholics think it is that easy to just stay stopped. They just hang around for years sober without working any steps or helping anyone else. They don't need the solution real alcoholics need to stay sober. They are killing people with the garbage that comes out of their mouth and making AA look like a support group instead of a spiritual program of action, not talking, ACTION.
There is NOT ONE PERSON ON HERE THAT DOES NOT HAVE PROBLEMS of some sort. How insignificant as they may seem to others.
Everyone deals with issues, challenges, struggles daily. Its called life!
But for you to come here try to dismiss the fact that not everyone here "has a real problem" or people that have admitted they are an alcoholic, that they aren't real alcoholics, or don't have the same "real" problems as someone else, is condesending & patronizing to everyone that comes here for support & help.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
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Gee,
I've had internet access for 12 years.
During that whole time I drank 15-30 beers every day.
Good to know that I'm just a "high class whiner" ,a 'problem drinker'.
And here I was thinking I might have had a serious problem.
Silly me, thanks for clearing that up Master!
I've had internet access for 12 years.
During that whole time I drank 15-30 beers every day.
Good to know that I'm just a "high class whiner" ,a 'problem drinker'.
And here I was thinking I might have had a serious problem.
Silly me, thanks for clearing that up Master!
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I have removed several posts from this thread.
It is against our rules to engage in name-calling and personal negative comments.
Please use PM if you wish to do this. It is not for the boards.
Let's try to get back on topic.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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I found this site because I searched "do you get depressed when you stop drinking" I wasn't sure that was normal. I've probably been drinking too much for about 4 years now. I've never woken up in the bushes or had to call in sick to work or wrecked my car, but I still know it's too much. I've tried stopping several times and always got really depressed. I thought maybe that was a sign that I shouldn't quite but rather drink in moderation. Last thursday I woke up throwing up. That was a new low. I haven't drank since. My brother is currently recovering from narcotic addiction, I'd like to get healthy and sober to support him. Thank you so much for this post and letting me know it was normal to get depressed and that it will be something I get passed... hopefully Gotta have hope.
Gotta have hope.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
I do. Totally feel miserable. Today I made a list, I'm crossing stuff off. When the bad thoughts start coming , I tell myself it's just a thought it means nothing, it doesn't define you. My friend asked me to go for a walk this afternoon. I don't want to but I said yes so ill have to do it. Bc I know it's good for me. I'm sorry you're feeling so down , it sux doesn't it? It's all part of the process and I'm guessing / hoping it will end at some point. Keep on keeping on. X
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