hardtoregister

New to the forum. I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who started to realize their drinking was getting out of control, but didnt quit altogether? I know I am drinking too much now, but I am hesitant to attend AA since I still believe with some discipline I can go back to drinking casually with friends on the weekend.

I think my problem has a lot to do with the student lifestyle I have become accustomed to over the past four years. I have a full time job I will be starting after this academic year and I'd like to think once I settle into a 8 to 4 job I can get back into a routine, and stop the excessive drinking. Especially once I start making mortgage payments within a few years, I think I will be able to settle back into a routine once I realize whats on the line. I believe the problem lies with the fact that I don't really have any responsibilities yet, and the fact that the government pays for my tuition. There is a feeling like there is nothing on the line to lose.

My question is: Is anyone else out there who has had a similar experience? Is it possible to just drink less, with a little self discipline?

Dee74

I doubt you'll find many ppl here who'll say its possible, but it may be for you.

There are many '20 questions tests' on line to help you determine if you're an alcoholic like these I googled

Alcoholism Test

http://www.aa-uk.org.uk/publications/areyou.htm

I don't know of any alcoholics who can successfully moderate their drinking.

D

Celebration1994

I know for me I can't go back to drinking because I am not able to control the amount I would ingest. I used the excuse to drink for many years that it was my lfe style. I owned a bar and had to drink if people bought me drinks...what lies alcohol tells us. I had to get honest and accept the fact that I drank to excess because I chose to, nothing to do with lifestyle. Maybe I could drink like a non alcoholic, but I sure won't take that chance and try it.....I have been drunk and I have been sober...I like sober a whole bunch better.

hardtoregister

Took the test, I was in the Problem Drinker range. Ive taken tests like this before, which is in part how I know I have a problem.

The thing is, I do think I will be able to stop once I graduate university. A lot of students would fail the AA questionnaire, and I had no problem with alcohol before undergraduate studies. But of course Im not sure...which is why Im seeking help.

Dee74

Well...abstaining for a period is usually an eye opener, either way - 30 days is a good arbitrary measure...

I drank at college too - I didn't stop when I went into real life. I hope you're different

Good luck!

D

ANGELINA243

Some people can stop or moderate their drinking--I could at one time...long, long ago. I too was a problem drinker for many years...but once I crossed that invisible line into alcoholism..I found I could never drink in moderation safely again>I always ended up wanting..and eventually needing more once I started to drink.

Glad you are here...and feel free to attend an open AA meeting if you like. By walking in the door you are not admitting to being an alcoholic...there are some who come to a few meetings and find out after a short time that they aren't alcoholic after all. You are not required to say anything in a meeting unless you choose to.

hardtoregister

what would the 30 day challenge be? Whether you could do it or not? Whether you could do it without cravings?

CarolD

Please read this link about alcoholism...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I never knew what day or which drink slid me into alcoholism.

I do know that if you abstain from pouring
toxins into your brain and body...it's healthy.
I think it's wise to gather information
and soooo....

Welcome to SR...

Latte

Some can. I never could and I tried it.

Dee74

something like that I guess - whether you could do it, whether or not you craved, whether or not you obsessed over drinking?

I'm not an expert, and frankly I'm not a huge fan of the idea - it's always possible you might be a binge drinker quite capable of going 30 days, like during exams or something - but it works for many to help them decide - I'm just throwing out suggestions.

I can't tell you if you're an alcoholic or not.
But you didn't come here to play pinochle, right?
You must be worried about your drinking.

Stick around and read, ask questions - hope you find what you need Hardtoregister

D

hardtoregister

I am worried about my drinking, but I am also not sure if it is because of the student lifestyle I have been living, or if I really cannot restrain from the substance even when I enter the workplace. The reason I dont want to go cold turkey away from alcohol would probably be the social implications.

Many of my friends, and my fiancee are social drinkers. Many of my sports teams go out for beers afterwards. Totally refraining from alcohol is really a last resort for me. Perhaps I am in denial, but I still believe I can go back to casual drinking with some self discipline, and maybe a little advice from others who have done the same.

Skyburst

Never worked for me...30 years later I know I have to just say no, period. I had spans of no drinking from a day to as much as three or so years but always when I thought I could moderate my drinking it took me in again.

It's very patient...doesn't mind waiting for you to just try it a little, again. It's like the cliche vampire that will tap tap at your window and just wants you to invite it in...that's all, just a little. Once you consent, it will slowly (or quickly) begin to steal your life away until one day you find yourself totally in it's power with no hope of redemption (a lie). But like that vampire it can't touch you without your consent.

But don't take my word for it. There are numerous tales here by victim after victim and ultimately we learn it for ourselves. And in the end we're not victims really except of our own choices.

You have to let it go.

trout46

Skyburst said it all for me!

Alcoholism (in my case and a few others) is the most patient of syndroms. I went about 20 years with a couple of small slips. Then, a few years ago, came to the conclusion that, like you, I could drink socially. Turns out I was wayyyyy wrong! Can't do it. I can only drink compulsively and excessively.

You probably need to discover this for yourself. I hope that, unlike me, you will figure it out quicly and never retreat from the truth you find.

Good luck, and good Thanskgiving!

hardtoregister

Is there no way to even join friends in a toast?

Must you avoid every exposure to alcohol or can you at least have fun being around people who are drinking?

I just don't understand why I have to avoid alcohol altogether while my friends can get drunk on the weekends without any repercussions? Why can't I just go back to what theyre doing? Getting drunk on the weekend, then getting to work during the week. Why must I quit cold turkey. Is there no other way?

nickishine

I'm feelin' for you. You're in a tough place with what's going on inside your head and wondering if alcohol is a REAL problem & if so, are you an alcoholic; what does that mean for your life, etc....???? I was there. I tried to cut down, do the weekend thing and moderate. Worked for a while -- but always led to MORE, MORE & MORE eventually. That's my experience.

There's support here and out there for you. Investigate....
Best!

oodvish54

I can only speak for myself, I tried the control thing, it was just a matter of time before I was off and running again,when I had to control my drinking it was already out of control! I was neaver a social drinker and neaver will be,It neaver made any seance to have few and walk away,for me if I can't drink 12 I can't take the first one, I always got drunk from the first time I drank to the last time I drank, no in betweens!

FizzyWater

Welcome hardtoregister

Think you don't want to accept the answers you are being given.

It has taken me many years to accept that alcohol isn't for people like me.

People generally aren't bothered that I no longer drink, what they think was built up as a far bigger problem in my mind than it actually was.

Doubt your fiancee is going to be that bothered if you have a soft drink the next time you go out, reckon the problem is you don't want a soft drink rather than her or your friends.

You've came on here and asked the question and as Dee said, most people on here will have the same answers.

I'd try the 30 days, its only a month out of the rest of your life if your right, and you'll save some money for Christmas as well !!!!

If you've been drinking heavily and suffer withdrawel please consult your doctor.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Bamboozle

I always wondered in amazement about the people who showed up to parties (college) and didn't drink or use. Nobody seemed to care that they weren't using any substances--these people had fun off of their own energy. How did they do it?

Well, that certainly wasn't me. After a particular party, an acquaintance went around telling everyone that I "drink like a man" (I'm a female). I and everyone else laughed about it. Truth was, I drank like I had a problem.

I wish you well, htr. There are people who do "settle down" once they get out of college, but some don't. Hang around SR for a while and keep posting. I think you'll find that there are others in a similar situation.

Dee74

The good news is you can do whatever you want, man.
The bad news is, if you are an alcoholic? trouble awaits.

It's a big thing to look at all those things you've mentioned - a really Big Thing.
It seems so unfair, so bleak so *final*.

I can't do any of those things - I know that now - but accepting that I couldn't took me nearly 20 years of stupid experiments - of hopes I'd spontaneously get better, and year after year of denial...and I caused myself, and others, a lot harm and grief in the process.

If you are an alcoholic, I believe there are no half measures.
There is no other way but abstinence IMO and it's absolutely immaterial what other ppl do - it's what alcohol does to you that counts.

I really do hope you grow out of it, but we're always here if you find you don't

D

digderidoo

Tried to get back to casual drinking for over 2 years and it didn't work for me. Problem is i can't stop at one or two. Yes, i can force myself to stop at say 2 beers, but then all night i really want another one and it kills me not too.

Do as the big book says, try stopping at one or two. Then try and relax for the evening, watch a bit of tv, listen to the radio, read a book. If the thought of not having another doesn't pop into your head, then maybe you can go back to casual drinking. The thing for me though i can't remember ever stopping at one.

Paul