grateful2b

********{Trish}}}}

I love how you come and tell on yourself:ghug3

rule out the hormones and then I would get some one-on -one therapy to get to the root cause....
my AD struggles in this way and has recently gone back to therapy(thank God) and just signed up for anger management classes...
hang in there, sweetie

scaredykat

Hi Trish, Just wanted to give you a hug and let you know I'm thinking about you.

In early recovery there is a lot of mood swings (I had them), and I agree a check up with the Dr. would be good. I done that myself to see if i was OK physically. I'm glad i did. Everything is OK with me except my toe yet. LOL

Hang in there.

parentrecovers

be kind to yourself and others, chiy. hugs and support, k

Bamboozle

Chiy, I hope you can see a doctor soon.

Ananda

I love it too!

Well, I really hope you see a dr. for starters and follow up with extra counciling type help if needed.

My old sponsor use to flip out so bad from PMS that her hubby had to call the police on her...Hormones are powerful!

I have had rage issues at times and still do.....Mine were more at the level of wanting to throw hot coffee in a guys face....but it was amazing to me how the rage seems to kick off my adrienelin and make me feel powerful for a while.

Wishing you the best!:ghug3

Stubborn1

I think you did an awesome job personally. I used to be quick to run my mouth and ready to beat someone's arse if need be. It took a baby step like you just had to give me the knowledge I could walk away. Now I walk away and bite my tongue because these people do not know what I "could" do to them. I know that inside and that's what matters.
I don't look at myself as a puss, I look at myself as controlled. I am aware I can be a ticking time bomb so I do things to ease that up. Rather it's get my hair done, nails done, journal, take the kids to the park and run.......I just do something.
The one thing that sets me off is if anyone messes with my children. I am still working on that. I tagged a woman at the State Fair who put her boobs on my son's head because she couldn't wait in line after I told her to back off of my child. Long story.
We are not perfect but it's up to us to get our emotions in tact with what we have.
Count to ten............no make that a thousand

Aysha

I made an appt for tomorrow. I dont feel too bad today. But I havent gotten to work yet either.
Last night what set it off was right before it was time to go. One of my last calls this B**** told me I sounded like I hate a mouth full of **** and went on about how Verizon customer service sucks..Yada yada.
I am not use to not being able to say things back. Our calls are recorded and they dont mess around. You dont know how hard it was to not say anything. Or take that ignorant b***es number down for later use.

I cant let this get the best of me. I am not a teenager anymore and I am not running the streets either. Time to get it under control.

Thanks all for your responses.

I still dont feel like interacting with anyone more than I have to. Really I dont feel like doing much of anything.

The only thing that gave me comfort yesterday was writing my brother in prison and my cat. And the cat was a stretch.

Change4life

******{Trish}}}}

Short on time gotta get to work, but wanted you to know Im thinking of you. Try to take it easy

IO Storm

Glad you are seeing a doctor...and I know how it feels when you are

feeling like this. Like your nerve endings are sticking out..just waiting

for some jerk to run up and whack em'. My prob right now is hormonal.

Thought it was menopause..nope! Thyroid out of whack. On top of

the bipolar stuff.

Chiy..just do what you are..lay low. Keep things as simple as possible.

Don't take anything personally ...even if it seems so.

Not right now.

Another fight is not worth the trouble, but you already know that.

And, I sure am sorry you've been feeling so bad.

Hugs Chiy

Lily

Chy,

Thanks for being real. I too struggle w/ rage. Not necessarily the type where I want to beat someone up, but rage all the same. Usually when I am struggling I want to break something or throw something.

I do not have any words of wisdom for you except to say good for you playing the jail tape and backing off. That would have been a major bummer, had to gone the other way.

I usually struggle with rage when things in my life are not going my way, then I get mad like a little kid. Or when I am PMS'ing things end up larger than life......what hurts me the most is seeing that same type of anger in my 19 yr old son. It is learned behavior. :-(

I have not figured out a way to cope as of yet, but I do just go away to my room and lay on my bed, cuz I am always sorry and regretful when I do go off.

Keep on keeping on, good share! Sheila

ghal

Chiy, I didn't get to red all the responses so sorry if this a repost. I have problems with anger as well and I can easily snap when someone does something very disrepectful. I was wondering if you see a Psychiatrist though. I do and they have done a good job at helping me figure things out regarding where the anger comes from. I wish you the best of luck and do your best to not sweat the small stuff as they say. I know its very hard sometimes!

Aysha

I felt a little better today. Went to the Dr and since I am starting IOP again tomorrow. It is best I take this issue to them and their Pdoc.
I dont feel like killing people today. But I still had a short tolerance level. But no where near as bad as it has been.
Feeling like that is pretty strenuous. It makes me feel like I am going to pop a blood vessel.
I hope it starts to cool down now. It has been exhausting feeling rage for awhile. Stressful.
Cat has to go. Grams is reacting more to her now.
My van started making this loud bumping grinding and squeeking noise today coming down the highway. Scared the **** out of me. My dad looked at it the other day and said it was fine. But it wasnt doing all like that before. I thought the friggin wheels were going to break of or something. Thats what it felt and sounded like. I am paranoid to drive it but have no choice. Just gotta take it slow I guess.
Anyway..Dont feel homocidal anymore. Just a little agitated.

BeamMeUpScotty

You can do it. Being aware of your feelings/reactions is key to controlling them. Glad you saw a doc.

Along those lines, take your van to a mechanic (your dad isn't one I presume). Nothing like a professional to fix problems.

Aysha

My dad is a mechanic...But it wasnt making that noise when he was here.
And its hard to get him here cause he works and lives an hour away. But it beats paying an arm and a leg for another mechanic. And if he wants the rest of the money I owe him for the van. I am sure he will be back to fix it.LOL j/k...He would do it anyway.

SlvrMag

I am SO glad you walked away and are here posting rather than in jail.

BeamMeUpScotty

Good luck with that.

Car repairs/bills can be just as frustrating as medical bills (especially for those without insurance) as they both cost you time, work, and money.

Luckily for me I live in a country that has excellent public transportation (and people give up their seat for you when you're on crutches, as I found yesterday).

Good luck,

BMUS

IO Storm

Still with ya Chiy...

Jules62

Me too.I just get it really.

Hang in there,

Julesxox

Impurrfect

(((Trish)))

Sorry I'm late on this, but I've been in my own funk. No rage for me (except when hormones are flaring) but I understand the rest. Sometimes it's just hard to keep doing what's right, and putting one foot in front of the other, but as long as we do it, we'll be okay.

I'm sorry about the jerks at work, the van, and especially about Bobbles, but I'm glad you're going to the dr.

I know, around here, everyone is in an uproar about the economy, and we are having a gas shortage in GA. We now have "gas station rage"?! I know, at least around here, tempers are short, people are stressed, and it seems like everyone is taking it out on everyone else.

Hang in there, sweetie..and so glad you are going back to IOP

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

grateful2b

:ghug3
good for you on the IOP,
just keep you head down, til something breaks or unties,
all will be revealed in time,
hang in there, sweetie, prayers and Grateful