orviske

I was wondering where you ran off to!

I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed you were MIA.

I respect the fact that you are exhibiting self-control.......and not trying to say something mean to hurt someone.

Its very good that you are recognizing your "blind rage"...and like everyone else here...I think maybe you should get it checked out.

We are here for you!

xoxoxox
K:ghug3

scaredykat

I'm glad you went to the Dr's and are going to IOP. Things will get better. I'm glad your feeling a little better.

to you.

Aysha

Man..I really thought I would have to end up hurting someone before that crap lifted.

I start back to OP not IOP next Wed.
She says I am not in need of Intensive anymore. Seeing how I am almost 4 months clean. Everyone told me I looked really good. Which made me feel good. I cant tell because I see myself everyday. They saw me a few days after my last use. And havent seen me in almost 3 months.

Work approved my schedule change for 4 10 hr days. I need a break in the middle of the week from that place. Now I will have a weekday to do things I need to do during the week.

I may have found a home for Bobble. A couple and their toddler. But I have gotten another response for her. A single person that sounds like that would be more suitable for her. I dont think she will do good with a toddler around.
But then I am very nervous that someone will respond to my ad that wants to use her for unspeakable things and abuse. You know what I mean. I want to make sure they are good people and will love her like I do. And WONT declaw her!!!

Thanks guys for sticking with me. I hope that anger has passed for now. It really did help to get it out instead of sinking inside myself and stewing.

Impurrfect

Yeah Trish!!!

Glad you're feeling better. I hope you find a good home for Bobbles. I think, if you meet whoever you decide to give her to, you will know whether it's a good fit or not. Remember, we addicts can usually sniff out "bad" people

I hope the new schedule works better for you. I'm trying to cut back my hours, so I can do another job on the side, but they are not wanting to work with me.

Now you can get back to your daily inspirations (hint, hint)

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Mattcake

:ghug3 This is great news Chi! I really believe that trying to avoid our feelings plays a big part in our addictions - when in reality, all feelings are healthy and normal. I think that when we allow feelings to flow freely, they eventually turn into something new and enriching, such as drive and determination. So good job on facing your anger and working through it instead of just turning your back on it.

kkat

hi chiynita

first of all i think it's really good that you recognize your anger.
i have felt that way as well, and have realized that i am at my worse about a week before my menstal cycle starts, i literally am a bitch from hell. of course, my cycle is not the primary cause; however it does contribute. it helped me a little realized that.
it sounds like you may have some depression and anxiety issues. have you ever considered talking to someone because therapy really does help.....if you stick with it. i take an anti-depressant every day, and if i didn't i wouldn't be able to function. I was so depressed that i didn't want to shower, shave, do my hair.... and i would blame everyone else, pick fights, and snap at the least little thing. when i started one on one therapy and the anti-depressant kicked in, i started to feel like myself again. but you have to want to do it. until then i would say...when you feel like you're going to have an outburst, stop immediately, take a few deep breaths, say to yourself okay i'm angry but i don't want to hurt anyone. close your eyes and picture yourself in your favorite place. concentrate on your breathing and that beautiful place. then when you feel a little more calm, re-evaluate the situation. i know this sounds stupid, but i swear it works. if we just distract ourselves even for a few seconds, usually that initial response or action that we wanted to give or do will subside and you then can take control and say or do something effective to deal with the situation. it also seems like maybe you're seeking for some attention, and i'm not saying that in a mean way. i used to do it myself without even realizing it. do you have family and friends who are supporting you with your recovery? it's very important that you do. i hope all goes well for you. god bless.
kat

gypsytears

I'm glad things are a little better Chiy. About Bobbles and OP too .

IO Storm

(((Chiy)))

Glad things are better...