smallRaccoon

ah yea boston i gotta get better about posting before drinking. I dont have internet where i live, but im sure theres the interweb somewhere around the area, no excuse

CarolD

hmmm...
Rac....do you have real life support to assist you ?
Family or friends or a structured recovery program?

While I too use SR to help me
my face to face support system is sooo awesome.

CarolD

Todays positive experiences....

An AA friend dropped over...she has 21 years
of recovery. We often run our concerns by each other.

Then another came over ..17 years sober...she
was checking to see if I wanted to go to a meeting.

The sky darkened ...rain pelted down...

Sooo...I tossed a quick lunch together
We had an informal meeting on
Resentments...How to work through them

What a blessing to have friends who share solutions!
Yes! you too can recover....

KarenOskie

That's great Carol. I hope to be where you are someday. I had the best day today I've had so far. I didn't have a desire to drink on the way home from work! That is a miracle for me. I skipped the meeting I had planned on going to last night because I was just too tired. Not a good excuse, I know. I did listen to a good speaker tape, though. But I need that face to face recovery stuff, too. I'm going to one close to home tonight. I still don't really know the people and it still makes me nervous to go. Actually when I see someone I knew from before it makes me more nervous that seeing the people I've just met. It's that shame thing, me thinking that they're thinking I'm a loser. The speaker tapes have helped that a lot. Some people that have been sober a long, long time struggled for a long time first.
And I still worry about my dog. She's been alone all day, I hate to leave her tonight, too. But I think that's my alcoholism talking. She'll only be alone an hour or so, and how much good am I for her when I'm drinking? None, that's how much.
Hang in there everyone, and have a good sober night.

bostonluv

Karen - I struggled about neglecting my dog while I was on the forums at night. But finally decided my recovery had to come first and that I would better a better dog mama for it in the long run. She gets extra cuddles for her patience with me lately.

Glad you had one of those no cravings days. Those are the best!! I've had several in a row now and I'm loving it.

Small Rac - Day one? Keep posting and make a couple really good friends you can PM when you struggle. Preferably with some sober time under their belt. There's so many of us!! Forming mini support groups - people you can really share with is so helpful. I wouldn't be sober without some of the friends I've made here. Or I wouldn't be as comfortable sober. Either way it's nice. Reach out and PM someone you admire/enjoy or have something in common with and and make a friend.

Thanks for letting me talk on your thread you guys.

Lindsay

Well, I had my first attempts in July/August...& never made it more than 5 days. My most recent relapse lead to a binge...and a breakdown. I went on a 4 day drinking binge in which I called my mother who lives 1200 miles away. I basically told her how back the drinking has become. She insisted that I drive home the following Saturday to stay for two weeks. I woke up sat, made it half way, stayed over night, and woke up the next morning sober to realize that WASN'T what I wanted, nor was it the answer. I love the job I have and didn't want to risk losing it. So I drove the 7 hours back to Missississippi. Ugh.

I haven't drank since. (on day 4...) but I live with a roommate that I have lived with for the past 6 yrs...in which drinking has been a central part of our activities. (throughout college, etc) I thought maybe after this recent breakdown and recognition of the problem she may be more sensitive...but no...asked me to go out with her lastnight. She suggested I get a diet coke in a place we go ALL the time. Um, impossible. She doesn't understand.

I'm beginning to think the living situation is not a good one, yet I'm in no situation financially to leave. We are 24 & 25, bought the house together...and the mortgage is about the same as rent would be for an apt for just me, I guess. I currently just cant afford the moving process.

I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'm going to simply start isolating myself because I don't know what else to do if i'm not drinking...esp on the weekends.

lostbutterfly

That's sound like a really difficult situation Lindsey. I'm not very good at this, but I am sure someone will be along with some good advice.

CarolD

Lindsay...Hi again!

I just went back and read your first post in Alcoholism.
I noticed you mentioned attending AA.

I found it's a great way to meet new sober friends.
Hard to isolate once you get involved .

I have no experience to share on living with a drinker
while trying to quit drinking. I lived alone when
I was an active alcoholic and still choose to.

Day 4 is a good start ...hope you will continue.

CarolD

Hi Everyone....

I picked the last tomato ..chopped up the plant
It always saddens me to kill a plant that has
given its best for the season.
*sigh* Probably a squiggle from my old L.S.D. days.

My son and I did our usual grocery shopping /lunch
today. While he was here chatting...I said ****.
*sigh* A major faux pas as he never cusses.

In my mail... the first Christmas request for a donation.
*sigh* I'm still wearing shorts and T shirts!

All in all....a much smaller .... different level
of problems than I had when I was a drinker.

I do so hope everyone finds their way today!

bostonluv

Lindsay, I definitly agree with Carol in your situation. If you can't avoid alcohol and have no social life without it you should check out some kind of recovery program and make a social network of sober friends. It's really your only choice if you're going to make this. I couldn't go to bars and drink diet coke either and I couldn't sit around the house talking to my roommate while she drank in front oh me. No way! It helps to know our limitations. That's been a big downfall of mine in the past: overstimating my willpower over this stuff. It's like fasting and going to a bakery to look at the cookies and cakes. Why torture yourself?

least

It IS possible to stay sober while surrounded by alcohol and drinkers, it's just more difficult. I would also suggest making new sober friends and altering your routine as much as you can to fill your old drinking time with something else.

Don't drink for today! :ghug3

CarolD

There is a new thread in our Alcoholism Forum
about alternatives to the AA program.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...on-thread.html

I do hope y'all will find it helful and interesting.

CarolD

SR victories ...solid benefits ....

Reading something here at SR and shared
it with a friend in emotional pain at my meeting.

Checking the Forums .seeing members making progress
Well done TryingSoHard!....

Looking forward to another SR members call late
tonight as she drives alone on a dark country road.
I often "keep her company" tho she is on the West Coast.

SR Rocks!! Thanks to you...u..and yew
Let's all have another day of sharing and caring
:ghug

toast

15 days,

SelfSeeking

Yeah, toast! 6

four812

i don't know what to say, but did just read the posts on this last page and they made me feel nice. Lindsey may you have the strength to do what you have to do, whatever that is.. if you can drink the diet coke with your roomate , sucessfully, that would be cool.

for me, I found when my girlfriend drinks and I'm trying to stay clean/sober, sometimes it took about 2 seconds for me to get resentful and to start drinking (to get a buzz)....then i feel a little better...then we have a nice time....then she goes to sleep and i go to the crack dealer.

just now thinking about it gave me a little thought of wanting to drink....

but that's me.

good luck to everyone

oh....i am DAY 1 today.

CarolD

Toast!!
Good for you...

Wan to share with us how you moved forward?

bostonluv

15 days Toast?!!! Wonderful. You've graduated from the thread!! :bounce

CarolD

ksplash5.....
Are you saying you only use crack after drinking?
No drinking=no crack?

Day 1 is better than active addiction...

least

Congrats Toast on 15 days sober!! See you in the 30 days thread!

:ghug3