Alternative recovery discussion thread
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Thailand
Posts: 31
Alternative recovery discussion thread
Alternative recovery discussion
Ok I would really like to hear from people who have tried, are thinking of trying, are presently trying any alternatives to the 12-step approach.
Now if anyone feels the need to turn this into a AA vs. Them, or Only AA. Please refrain from doing so. I would like to see what works for people, other then AA. We definitely don’t need another AA argument. For or against.
Why does it work for you?
Why it didn’t work for you?
Why your thinking of trying this?
You tried an alternative approach and it didn’t work.
Why do you think that it failed you?
What would you do differently?
I will get it rolling, I used a CBT / Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy approach to clean and sober.
It works for me because there is not spiritual component, and my life is totally in my hands to live it or throw it away. I have the power to make the choices in my life. No one is going to rescue me the only one is me. How I think affects how I feel and more importantly how I handle the situation.
10 years clean now so possibly it’s working, I also never even consider using again, doesn’t cross my mine and I am not an addict just a person who chooses not to use anymore.
Anyways that’s what works for me.
Ok I would really like to hear from people who have tried, are thinking of trying, are presently trying any alternatives to the 12-step approach.
Now if anyone feels the need to turn this into a AA vs. Them, or Only AA. Please refrain from doing so. I would like to see what works for people, other then AA. We definitely don’t need another AA argument. For or against.
Why does it work for you?
Why it didn’t work for you?
Why your thinking of trying this?
You tried an alternative approach and it didn’t work.
Why do you think that it failed you?
What would you do differently?
I will get it rolling, I used a CBT / Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy approach to clean and sober.
It works for me because there is not spiritual component, and my life is totally in my hands to live it or throw it away. I have the power to make the choices in my life. No one is going to rescue me the only one is me. How I think affects how I feel and more importantly how I handle the situation.
10 years clean now so possibly it’s working, I also never even consider using again, doesn’t cross my mine and I am not an addict just a person who chooses not to use anymore.
Anyways that’s what works for me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest PA USA
Posts: 339
I've been studying the LifeRing approach, and have bought some books on REBT/CBT. I admit that I am still struggling, and I'm also very sick of being sick/drunk all the time.
Thanks for this topic. I'm one of the 'lurkers' here!
Thanks for this topic. I'm one of the 'lurkers' here!
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I'm not a 12-stepper, but I don't consider my approach to be alternative. I'm just doing what's working for me now. I laugh and make jokes at every chance I get. I listen to birds sing. I look up at the sky instead of the ground when I walk. I make sure I talk to my family. I make myself go to work when I don't want to (well, mostly 
). I listen to music. I play video games. I eat tasty food. I do a lot of self-reflecting and give myself encouragement. And, of course, I come to SR nearly everyday. I have found so much hope and strength from the people here. 
). I listen to music. I play video games. I eat tasty food. I do a lot of self-reflecting and give myself encouragement. And, of course, I come to SR nearly everyday. I have found so much hope and strength from the people here. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Thailand
Posts: 31
John,
Well I would say keep reading and studying, don’t give up fighting, and eventually you will kick that demon in the nads and have him down for the count.
Bamboozle,
I agree, I don’t like the term alternative either, but lack a better way to describe it. Where I say I use CBT I don’t know if that is appropriate anymore since I have seriously adapted it to myself.
I called my boss a while back one day when I just did not want to go to work and told him I have ‘anal glaucoma’ “He asked what is that?” I told him “I just can’t see my a*s going into work today.
Well I would say keep reading and studying, don’t give up fighting, and eventually you will kick that demon in the nads and have him down for the count.
Bamboozle,
I agree, I don’t like the term alternative either, but lack a better way to describe it. Where I say I use CBT I don’t know if that is appropriate anymore since I have seriously adapted it to myself.
I called my boss a while back one day when I just did not want to go to work and told him I have ‘anal glaucoma’ “He asked what is that?” I told him “I just can’t see my a*s going into work today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest PA USA
Posts: 339
Originally Posted by Wade72 
I called my boss a while back one day when I just did not want to go to work and told him I have ‘anal glaucoma’ “He asked what is that?” I told him “I just can’t see my a*s going into work today.
things as it is
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 233
Meditation is what got me sober a little over seven years ago. Started with TM, then met a Buddhist monk who taught me zazen. I practice it daily. It helps to see clearly through all the "tricks of the ego" and to stay focused on the present moment.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
Attending SMART recovery meetings. Started out in couseling. To be honest I had to attend a support group to get a drivers license. So, Smart was in-line to the couseling I did in the beginning.
Reason it worked was I do think it all starts in your thinking. And changing your thoughts will change behavior. It has worked for me because it will be 8 years this December.
Thank's for this thread.
Reason it worked was I do think it all starts in your thinking. And changing your thoughts will change behavior. It has worked for me because it will be 8 years this December.
Thank's for this thread.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
This is my second go around at sobriety. The first time around I had no prior exposure to AA. I was very young and drank heavily with the same group of similar-aged friends. We all had many run ins with the law, hospital visits, fist fights, injuries, DUI's, etc... All of my friends began to get sober but it took me a bit longer. The last months I took 3 different trips to the hospital in an ambulance and was arrested twice, one was a felony grand larceny charge that could have really taken me down, but that is another funny story in and of itself.
I was 21 at the time and I finally began to attend meetings with my newly sober friends. Even though I was a heavy, sun up to sun down, daily blackout drinker, I do not remember any physical effects of detox. I went through sober living houses for the next 6 months or so and I found it fairly easy. I got a sponsor, worked the steps and was really involved in the program.
After a year or so in the program I realized that I was still miserable inside and needed more than what the program had to offer. I had many childhood issues that simply could not be resolved even if I worked 100 steps and called my sponsor 80 times per day. Sponsors are just not qualified to work through such complex psychological issues and without professional help I would surely drink again just to mask the pain.
I found the most wonderful therapist that specialized in Behavioral Modification and he was also an addiction specialist. Together, we managed to work through a few years of very intensive (6 hours sometimes) therapy and I could see my life change both spiritually and psychologically. I felt so good about myself most of the time that it was actually euphoric at times. I was able to let go of the past and look at it for what it really was. I was able to forgive those who harmed me (parents), call it water under the bridge, move on and build tolerable relationships and more importantly, let go of the hate and anger. I went from a 9th grade high school dropout. who most considered dumb as a rock, to achieving my GED, to attending Jr College, to transferring to USC (trojans not gamecocks :P), to (almost) earning my masters in business.
In AA I heard the worst stories imaginable about the plights of the alcoholic's lifestyle. I volunteered in a county run, non-medical detox house and I saw many seizures and I even witnessed people die. I guess the theory goes that by doing this kind of volunteer work I would see where my life was heading had I not gotten sober. It had the opposite effect on me and made me question whether I was really an alcoholic. More on this later.
After ten years sober, after AA and intensive therapy, and after achieving so much, I took a look at my life, which was great at the time, and really thought that I was such a different person, without all of the hate and anger that I had in the past. I was a professional, I was making great money, I loved to cook and I loved to splurge at the best restaurants around the world. It just seemed odd to me to attend business dinners at these types of places and I was the only one ordering diet coke with a beautiful meal that surely paired so nicely with just the right wine. Well you guessed it, I was convinced that my past drinking was the product of my environment and mindset at the time. Now, however, I was such a different person with so much going for me that I surely could enjoy great wine with great food and, for several years, that was the case. Totally controlled drinking with no desire to get drunk.
Well, here is the disease of alcoholism. Everybody has ups and downs in their lives and when I started drinking again I was at an uptick and I never considered what would happen with a downswing. Life got a little tough and my couple of glasses of great wine with a great meal became a bottle of great wine each night, with our without food. That soon turned into a bottle and one half of great wine each night. When money got a bit tighter I could not justify spending $35 per night on great wine so I went from that to two bottles of cheap wine per night for $10 per night. Aren't I clever? I never really got drunk on wine and I began to tire of it. I began to experiment with other drinks. First, screwdrivers, then vodka cranberry, both singles and really only at bars and restaurants. Within a couple of years I brought the vodka home. It then became one bottle of wine and a couple of vodka drinks per night. As life progressively sucked, it soon became either 2 bottles of wine or a pint of vodka. That progressed to a bottle of wine And a pint of vodka per night. That progressed to two bottles of wine and a pint of vodka. That progressed to two bottles of wine and a pint and a half of vodka. That progressed to two bottles of wine to a fifth of vodka. That progressed to two bottles of wine and a half liter of vodka. Finally, it just became almost a liter of vodka per night.
Many, many, many things in my life were adversely affected by my drinking, both personally and professionally. I became very sick and the only way that I could make myself better was to drink. I shook beyond belief, threw up daily, had severe stomach problems, damaged my liver so bad that my eyes told the story to anybody that looked at me, including my lovely daughter. I surely knew that I would die if I did not stop; however, that in and of itself was not enough to stop me because I was still somewhat functional with my daughter, but not much else. I did everything I was supposed to do for her both financially (private school, nice home, always attended everything, traveled all over to support her gymnastics, etc.) but I realized that my drinking and my being sick all of the time was robbing her, more and more as time went on, of any affection that I had left to give her. I really did not enjoy her company and I hated when she touched me.
I was very sick and I felt terrible for my daughter and the thought of her growing up without a daddy. However, the only way that I knew of to get sober was AA and from my own experience, the thought of going back to AA is what kept me drinking longer than I really wanted to. This time around I also knew that I had progressed to the same point that those poor bastards at the county run detox house had gotten to and that if I tried to detox on my own I felt that I would surely have some serious medical issues. I read all of the symptoms of cirrhosis and realized that the only thing that I was missing was the grand-daddy grand mal seizure and that petrified me.
I began to research all kinds of methods to stop drinking. I first responded to an ad that I heard that was to good to be true. The prometta treatment protocol. The first step was to be evaluated by a nurse and she sternly warned me that I MUST go through a medical detox. That sank in and now I knew that I was very sick. However, the program was 15k and I felt that it was a scam so I backed off. Continued to drink for another year and one half and became even sicker. Did more research on medical detox and had many drunken phone calls with such centers. I knew that I had a real physical dependency and that had to be addressed above all else, just to save my life. However, I also knew that I had to deal with other issues as well. I arranged for a 7 day medical detox, found and met with an addiction specialist (before detox)that focused on CBT that would not push me into AA.
I could not go in sober so I asked a friend to drive me to detox, take my car and my wallet, and to not pick me up no matter what. I got absolutely hammered and was carried into the center on a Monday evening. They placed me on heavy medication and I woke up on Wednesday afternoon wondering where the hell I was and who all these people were around me. When I realized, I actually felt proud that I actually made it there, regardless of how I got there, and that I took the first step.
Sorry to blab, but to bring this full circle, I had a major physical dependency and I knew that must be addressed first. After going through the detox I knew that any and all cravings would be mental and that I would not get sick without a drink, would not have a seizure if I did not drink, and everything from that point would be a mental battle. I began to see the therapist immediately after detox to begin to delve into what the real issues were and I adopted the mantra to not drink no matter F***ing what! It has been said above that the only one that can save me is me and if I do drink I am making the conscious choice to do so. I am now on day 23 and who knows what the future will hold but for now it is working. The daily cravings are still there but are less severe by the day and I know that it is all mental and more out of daily habit than anything else. I have a new daily routine that I am getting used to so it is getting easier. The funny thing is, most of the reasons that I drank were to drown out the voices of anxiety, lack of self confidence, self esteem and anger were severely exacerbated by the drinking itself. Even in this short time sober and with little therapy most of those issues have lessened in severity and I really feel okay with who I am, not to say that I am completely in love with myself but I don't hate myself anymore.
Now, for me and my past experience I completely understand what AA has to offer and I think it is wonderful for some, just not for me. While in detox, I saw many young people that reminded me so much of myself. They would go to several meetings per day and return with the same sparkle of hope in there eyes that I had. Parents would come and pick them up and you could see the healing taking place before your eyes. Fond memories of my first experiences but it was the newness and the feeling of hope that created that sparkle. I just do not think AA is enough in the long term. I do believe that you really have to believe in your heart 100% that you are an alcoholic to keep those thoughts of controlled drinking out of your head. If you know that if you drink then you die (for sure!) that is a good motivator. However, that in and of itself is not enough. I do believe that the complex mind of the alcoholic is an onion that needs to be peeled in a methodical way by those with years of training that have the know how to do so. Maybe a mixture of the two methods is the best way? Not sure there will ever be a cure all method that everybody will agree on but these are my thoughts on the subject.
I was 21 at the time and I finally began to attend meetings with my newly sober friends. Even though I was a heavy, sun up to sun down, daily blackout drinker, I do not remember any physical effects of detox. I went through sober living houses for the next 6 months or so and I found it fairly easy. I got a sponsor, worked the steps and was really involved in the program.
After a year or so in the program I realized that I was still miserable inside and needed more than what the program had to offer. I had many childhood issues that simply could not be resolved even if I worked 100 steps and called my sponsor 80 times per day. Sponsors are just not qualified to work through such complex psychological issues and without professional help I would surely drink again just to mask the pain.
I found the most wonderful therapist that specialized in Behavioral Modification and he was also an addiction specialist. Together, we managed to work through a few years of very intensive (6 hours sometimes) therapy and I could see my life change both spiritually and psychologically. I felt so good about myself most of the time that it was actually euphoric at times. I was able to let go of the past and look at it for what it really was. I was able to forgive those who harmed me (parents), call it water under the bridge, move on and build tolerable relationships and more importantly, let go of the hate and anger. I went from a 9th grade high school dropout. who most considered dumb as a rock, to achieving my GED, to attending Jr College, to transferring to USC (trojans not gamecocks :P), to (almost) earning my masters in business.
In AA I heard the worst stories imaginable about the plights of the alcoholic's lifestyle. I volunteered in a county run, non-medical detox house and I saw many seizures and I even witnessed people die. I guess the theory goes that by doing this kind of volunteer work I would see where my life was heading had I not gotten sober. It had the opposite effect on me and made me question whether I was really an alcoholic. More on this later.
After ten years sober, after AA and intensive therapy, and after achieving so much, I took a look at my life, which was great at the time, and really thought that I was such a different person, without all of the hate and anger that I had in the past. I was a professional, I was making great money, I loved to cook and I loved to splurge at the best restaurants around the world. It just seemed odd to me to attend business dinners at these types of places and I was the only one ordering diet coke with a beautiful meal that surely paired so nicely with just the right wine. Well you guessed it, I was convinced that my past drinking was the product of my environment and mindset at the time. Now, however, I was such a different person with so much going for me that I surely could enjoy great wine with great food and, for several years, that was the case. Totally controlled drinking with no desire to get drunk.
Well, here is the disease of alcoholism. Everybody has ups and downs in their lives and when I started drinking again I was at an uptick and I never considered what would happen with a downswing. Life got a little tough and my couple of glasses of great wine with a great meal became a bottle of great wine each night, with our without food. That soon turned into a bottle and one half of great wine each night. When money got a bit tighter I could not justify spending $35 per night on great wine so I went from that to two bottles of cheap wine per night for $10 per night. Aren't I clever? I never really got drunk on wine and I began to tire of it. I began to experiment with other drinks. First, screwdrivers, then vodka cranberry, both singles and really only at bars and restaurants. Within a couple of years I brought the vodka home. It then became one bottle of wine and a couple of vodka drinks per night. As life progressively sucked, it soon became either 2 bottles of wine or a pint of vodka. That progressed to a bottle of wine And a pint of vodka per night. That progressed to two bottles of wine and a pint of vodka. That progressed to two bottles of wine and a pint and a half of vodka. That progressed to two bottles of wine to a fifth of vodka. That progressed to two bottles of wine and a half liter of vodka. Finally, it just became almost a liter of vodka per night.
Many, many, many things in my life were adversely affected by my drinking, both personally and professionally. I became very sick and the only way that I could make myself better was to drink. I shook beyond belief, threw up daily, had severe stomach problems, damaged my liver so bad that my eyes told the story to anybody that looked at me, including my lovely daughter. I surely knew that I would die if I did not stop; however, that in and of itself was not enough to stop me because I was still somewhat functional with my daughter, but not much else. I did everything I was supposed to do for her both financially (private school, nice home, always attended everything, traveled all over to support her gymnastics, etc.) but I realized that my drinking and my being sick all of the time was robbing her, more and more as time went on, of any affection that I had left to give her. I really did not enjoy her company and I hated when she touched me.
I was very sick and I felt terrible for my daughter and the thought of her growing up without a daddy. However, the only way that I knew of to get sober was AA and from my own experience, the thought of going back to AA is what kept me drinking longer than I really wanted to. This time around I also knew that I had progressed to the same point that those poor bastards at the county run detox house had gotten to and that if I tried to detox on my own I felt that I would surely have some serious medical issues. I read all of the symptoms of cirrhosis and realized that the only thing that I was missing was the grand-daddy grand mal seizure and that petrified me.
I began to research all kinds of methods to stop drinking. I first responded to an ad that I heard that was to good to be true. The prometta treatment protocol. The first step was to be evaluated by a nurse and she sternly warned me that I MUST go through a medical detox. That sank in and now I knew that I was very sick. However, the program was 15k and I felt that it was a scam so I backed off. Continued to drink for another year and one half and became even sicker. Did more research on medical detox and had many drunken phone calls with such centers. I knew that I had a real physical dependency and that had to be addressed above all else, just to save my life. However, I also knew that I had to deal with other issues as well. I arranged for a 7 day medical detox, found and met with an addiction specialist (before detox)that focused on CBT that would not push me into AA.
I could not go in sober so I asked a friend to drive me to detox, take my car and my wallet, and to not pick me up no matter what. I got absolutely hammered and was carried into the center on a Monday evening. They placed me on heavy medication and I woke up on Wednesday afternoon wondering where the hell I was and who all these people were around me. When I realized, I actually felt proud that I actually made it there, regardless of how I got there, and that I took the first step.
Sorry to blab, but to bring this full circle, I had a major physical dependency and I knew that must be addressed first. After going through the detox I knew that any and all cravings would be mental and that I would not get sick without a drink, would not have a seizure if I did not drink, and everything from that point would be a mental battle. I began to see the therapist immediately after detox to begin to delve into what the real issues were and I adopted the mantra to not drink no matter F***ing what! It has been said above that the only one that can save me is me and if I do drink I am making the conscious choice to do so. I am now on day 23 and who knows what the future will hold but for now it is working. The daily cravings are still there but are less severe by the day and I know that it is all mental and more out of daily habit than anything else. I have a new daily routine that I am getting used to so it is getting easier. The funny thing is, most of the reasons that I drank were to drown out the voices of anxiety, lack of self confidence, self esteem and anger were severely exacerbated by the drinking itself. Even in this short time sober and with little therapy most of those issues have lessened in severity and I really feel okay with who I am, not to say that I am completely in love with myself but I don't hate myself anymore.
Now, for me and my past experience I completely understand what AA has to offer and I think it is wonderful for some, just not for me. While in detox, I saw many young people that reminded me so much of myself. They would go to several meetings per day and return with the same sparkle of hope in there eyes that I had. Parents would come and pick them up and you could see the healing taking place before your eyes. Fond memories of my first experiences but it was the newness and the feeling of hope that created that sparkle. I just do not think AA is enough in the long term. I do believe that you really have to believe in your heart 100% that you are an alcoholic to keep those thoughts of controlled drinking out of your head. If you know that if you drink then you die (for sure!) that is a good motivator. However, that in and of itself is not enough. I do believe that the complex mind of the alcoholic is an onion that needs to be peeled in a methodical way by those with years of training that have the know how to do so. Maybe a mixture of the two methods is the best way? Not sure there will ever be a cure all method that everybody will agree on but these are my thoughts on the subject.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Russia, Lair
Posts: 29
I use Shichko method. It help me to destroy myself pro-alcohol programms in my brain and to change my world-view and life-view. Now I don't need alcohol thanks to this method. I know some people who use it and stays sober long time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Thailand
Posts: 31
Fugfuffy,
Thank you very much for that post, I work at a private clinic that uses CBT as our main drug and alcohol treatment model. We do mix other systems in as well but the main treatment is CBT, and we have found it highly affective.
I have heard similar stories to yours but possibly not as honest right off the get go. Be straight with your therapist, don't hide anything from him and I think you will do great. As you know, your over the physical part, the rest is in your head.
I wish you all the best
Wade
Thank you very much for that post, I work at a private clinic that uses CBT as our main drug and alcohol treatment model. We do mix other systems in as well but the main treatment is CBT, and we have found it highly affective.
I have heard similar stories to yours but possibly not as honest right off the get go. Be straight with your therapist, don't hide anything from him and I think you will do great. As you know, your over the physical part, the rest is in your head.
I wish you all the best
Wade
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I incorporate a variety of things to maintain my sobriety. I use meditation, yoga, positive readings, this website, listening to other alcoholics and what has worked for them, trying to keep an open mind about what works for others, as well as AA. I don't credit any one thing for keeping me sober. I prefer to think of my sobriety as a holistic approach each thing being a key component with room for more keys to be added. Thanks for this positive thread I have found some good information here.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Russia, Lair
Posts: 29
Also I know some people who stays sober after reading of Allen Carr's book "Easy way to control alcohol". I read this book too, and in many I agree with Allen, but unfortunality he not give good trainings for realise his method.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
Does anyone have any experience with Lucinda Bassett?
Lucinda Bassett has a pretty good thing for anxiety and the like..I have done some of it before.I think it is pretty good.
It has helped me.I do not think it would have gotten me sober,but it has helped make sobriety better.
Lucinda Bassett has a pretty good thing for anxiety and the like..I have done some of it before.I think it is pretty good.
It has helped me.I do not think it would have gotten me sober,but it has helped make sobriety better.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
Just thought I would share this...
Everything we do in life we think about it first. Weather it be to buy a sweater or to get ready for work or should I do the dishes now or later.
Same is true for drinking or drug thoughts. They are just thoughts and we do not have to act on them. It is what you do with those thoughts that count.
Think about it.
Everything we do in life we think about it first. Weather it be to buy a sweater or to get ready for work or should I do the dishes now or later.
Same is true for drinking or drug thoughts. They are just thoughts and we do not have to act on them. It is what you do with those thoughts that count.
Think about it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by 1963comet
Just thought I would share this...
Everything we do in life we think about it first. Weather it be to buy a sweater or to get ready for work or should I do the dishes now or later.
Same is true for drinking or drug thoughts. They are just thoughts and we do not have to act on them. It is what you do with those thoughts that count.
Think about it.
Everything we do in life we think about it first. Weather it be to buy a sweater or to get ready for work or should I do the dishes now or later.
Same is true for drinking or drug thoughts. They are just thoughts and we do not have to act on them. It is what you do with those thoughts that count.
Think about it.
Once the physical is gone, you can see it for what it really is. Not a dangerous, life threatening illness but a game that your mind is playing with you and you just need to develop the tools to outsmart your own sick brain.
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