suki44883

:ghug3

least

:ghug and thank you all!!

best

and Thank you for taking care of you.

:ghug3

least

still feeling really groggy so i guess i'll just lie down and rest all day. don't dare drive anywhere feeling like this. at least not feeling withdrawals so much. just exhausted now and groggy from the vistaril.

Ananda

cuddle with your dogs and give yourself a little time to recoup!

Thinking of you!

22NGONE

Least,

I've noticed that in AA they always welcome back those who relapse with great warmth and love... their advice is always to start again and move on! The Lifeblood of AA, I think, is the newcomers and relapsers because it allows ALL recovering alcoholics to remember why they are there and what is waiting for them if they don't maintain their sobriety.

So do not think less of yourself, nobody else does, just learn from this experience and move on as everyone else here has.

least

this vistaril is very strange stuff. never taken it before but i'm not too fond of it. i'm still having the shakes pretty bad and tho I don't feel as agitated as i did I still feel like i'm not quite 'on earth'. like my feet aren't on the ground. having a drink is the last thing on my mind cause I already feel so disconnected and foggy from the vistaril. I'm just going to sleep thru withdrawal it seems cause I'm not able to do much else. i'm afraid to even walk the dogs cause i'm so unsteady on my feet.

so now my sobriety date is May 6. I will just go forward from there and will not drink.

this vistaril is very potent. I don't like it at all. when i was given ativan i was drowsy but could still function. this stuff makes me feel completely knocked out and have been sleeping all day. i don't lilke this feeling.

fallingdown

Least Thank you for keeping us updated, it does sound like you are doing a lot better even if you don't like the Vistaril, I understand, those mood altering meds can be scary but sometimes necessary to help get through the really bad stuff, I do hope you get a lot of rest and feel better soon.
Love,
Fallin

least

I took a 25 mg vistaril this morning and it's now six hours later but still feel knocked out. took the dogs for a walk but had to cut it short cause i felt like i was going to pass out. I don't like this stuff. i stil feel shaky and nervous but so out of it i can't function. I'll go back to sleep for a while see if i feel better when i wake up.

if this is anti anxiety med why is my heart still racing and pounding? i don't like this at all.

22NGONE

If your heart is racing and pounding and you are concerned about the drugs effects you should call your physician.

John

least

woke up this morning, day three, shaking and agitated so bad I can't stand it. I don't dare take any vistaril cause I have things to do, but am shaking like a leaf. feeling terrified. like I'm coming unglued. if this is still withdrawal then it's the worst ever, or a panic attack. don't know which but am scared to death. I've been to the ER twice in the last week and don't dare go again. i've already got too many bills to pay with too little money. I go from sweating and burning up to freezing cold. i don't know when this is going to go away. before my symptoms were going away by day three, this time they seem to be worse. i can't stand this agitation. not hungry just thirsty drinking gallons of water.

sorry to be whining all the time but have no one here i can talk to. my mother just cries when i try to explain to her how i feel. she doesn't understand anything about addiction and sees it as a weakness, a personality flaw.

thanks for listening to me.

BrixtonBear

Hi Least,

I'm not in any position to give any advice in the state I'm in, but just wanted to let you know that you're in my prayers throughout the day...

:praying

Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way...

Your friend, Paddington

22NGONE

Well, I don't think you're whining so no need to apologize. This site is here to give people support. I sympathize with you on your situation, the only thing I can say is to push through it, pray and keep your eye on the goal.. a sober healthy you. I

least

i am more depressed than ever before. just wish i would die and be done with it. am so tired of the struggle. feel like i'm losing it. made it for a month sober and now only a few days. what's wrong with me? am i not meant to live? can't stand living like this. i have no purpose, no meaning. i am a loser. a waste of space. i wish i just could die. at least i'd not be suffering like this, and for what? i'm sorry for taking up everyone's time and space. i'm not worth it

ken67

Least,
Please take the time to read this......

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html

kj3880

Least, are you taking your meds? Sounds like you need to. Go back to the er. Your life is so worth it. They do seem to fix you up when you go there. You can worry about the bill later, when you are in a better place. It won't seem so insurmountable when you are well. At least it didn't for me.
kj

Honu

Goodness, I just read this entire thread for the first time. I hope you are doing well, or at least better! There is so much support for you here, I hope that you can see that. Sometimes we just can't see the forest for the trees. I'm kind of speechless, but, I want you to know that every day is a new day to start all over again. My prayers are with you, Least. Honu

MagicMan08

get off the pills.....you're lucky, people stopped posting on my thread after relapsing like 3 times. I donno, how bad do you want to be happy? Becuase "feeling good don't ever cost a thing."

Sure it feels weird to throw everything into the wind, but god dang it, a huge stone is now in the wind and not on MY shoulders, and it feels fricken great! And this relates to whatever is bothering me right now

least

I am in constant contact with suicideforum.com and have many friends there. it's just getting worse. everything. everything is getting worse. my life, my circumstances, my family connections. everything. i am hanging onto a thread, not a rope. and it's about to break. i want to stop drinking but i can't stand feeling like this. i'm sick of myself. there's only my dogs to live for, and im hanging on for them. they are both old and disabled and i can't let go of them. is this silly? to live for two old dogs? matters not, they are what keeps me living. l love them more than i love myself. they are worth more than i am.

the 'pills' i'm on are anti depresants, anti anxiety, and anti bipolar. they are the only thigs, not counting my dogs, keeping me here.

HideorSeek

Hang in there Least. Everyone here is rooting for you. Please don't be so hard on yourself...i have relapsed many times, but I just REFUSE to give up, and keep coming back. We can beat this together!:ghug2