warrens

Hey Lady

You must be exhausted. One of the worst things bout depression/anxiety is that it just wears one out over time. Realize this, Least. At its worst, you are so fatigued that it is literally impossible to assess what is real and what isn't. At its worst, winning the lottery would somehow seem an intrusion.

I'm not trying to be funny. Fatigue can cause insanity itself. Many studies show that it can be a killer on its own and can cause an emotional breakdown. A good diet and more than adequate sleep are imperative before we can tackle such a serious issue as recovery.

What I'm getting at is, that you are not to blame for your inability to put together a strong recovery. When mortar shells are bursting all around, one cannot focus on planting and maintaining a garden.

Recovery requires more of a human being than everyday, boring life. We must have physical and emotional reserves to draw upon. We must be the strongest we can be to encounter dragons. Eat well, sleep well, and drink well (juices, etc). Take care of the organism that is you.

Your mother and daughter seem of great concern to you. Their level of understanding, etc. They will never understand completely unless they face dragons of their own. But they can come to accept. Perhaps we can help.

Relationships and history can make objective communication impossible. There can be simply be too much baggage there. We don't have that baggage with your family, however. We have also been privy to your struggles and courage over time in a way that your family hasn't.

I wonder. If some of us were to write to your loved ones... Would it possibly help them toward acceptance? Might it give them an idea of what you face, what you have been through, and what you need to succeed? Just a thought. I'd certainly be willing and I suspect others would, too. Think about it.

Always here,

warren

Impurrfect

Get some rest, sweetie and check in when you can

Dean62

Thank you for calling your mom least. An excellent choice, I love your mom right now so please give her a big heartfelt hug from me.

fallingdown

Hi Least. I hope you're getting some rest and I hope you are feeling better today. Wish I lived closer so we could go walk the dogs when you get up. Hey I agree with Hope about your name, BTW, but that's something to think about later. Take care lady and let us know how you are.
Fallin

least

just took a couple ativan for these awful shakes. drinking sleepytime tea along with my own detox tea. I will lie down for a whle and watch a movie to relax. thank you all for being here for me when I was at my worst. it helped to know I'm not alone.:ghug2:ghug3

still shaking pretty bad and the racing pounding heart is trying to jump out of my chest. as soon as the ativan kicks in that should calm down.

MsPlugginTheJug

Hang in there Least!!! This too shall pass! I have mostly lurked here, but your strength and struggle has helped me (and I'm sure others) greatly and I completely believe in you. I know this is hard to go through again, but you never have to do it again!

I'm so happy to see how supportive everyone is here, everyone really DOES care!

Karen:ghug2

LosingmyMisery

Tomorrow is a new day with a new beginning. Reading your posts really reminded me of that feeling of desperation and hopelessness. Boy, how I remember, but there is hope and there's a new life waiting for you. I'm proof of that. What you need to do is take action. As you well know, nothing changes if nothing changes. You are the one who has to make it happen. Make some calls and reach out for support and help. Your life will get better, but not if you don't pursue it.

Dean62

Ativan tea and a movie, that's what I'm talking about.

That sounds like the perfect plan for today. :ghug3

Hevyn

Least, I was away yesterday so I didn't see you struggling. I'm so happy you got some medical help & all the wonderful support here, too. You need to stick around to see how this thing called "life" will end! Don't you want to see what's around the next corner? Don't let your story end with a surrender to alcohol. You never have to feel this horrible ever again - I felt lost & miserable in the beginning too - but I have almost 4 months. If you just forge on ahead you'll come out into the sun again. Your dogs, your family, and your SR brothers & sisters need you.

sobergirl77

Least, my prayers are with you... :::hugs::: I've been there with the shakes and awful withdrawals, I was all alone too during mine and finally went to the ER, but they gave me librium. The one non-medicated thing that helped me a little was a long, hot shower.

Keep updating us! And it's not uncommon to relapse at 30 days.

parentrecovers

welcome back to recovery, least. one day at a time, k

Dee74

I was away as well, but looking at the responses the support and the love here? I think you should think seriously about changing your name - you're not the least of anything...

30 days without alcohol is an awesome achievement.

I know how hard it is to focus on the positives in our lives sometimes - I think most if not all of us have been in a despair spiral at some time, but try and remember - you're wanted and loved here and you made 30 days. There's no reason in the world why you cant do that again and go beyond that....

welcome back
D

Luckyv2

It has taken me all my life to get the most clean time that I have now. I have had a few days that were unbearable but I did stay clean and as long as we can do that we have won for the day. I Know about the depression also. it sucks but we don't have to go through it alone!

That is the miracle we have all had the same experiences just maybe a little different.

Sending good thoughts to ya my friend!:ghug3

BUTTERFLY-7

Hey Dear Friend I'm just wondering how are you Doing
I remember that very same day you requested me to be your friend

I feel Bad cause I should off seen the signs, you were not
Requesting only to be my friend, you was crying out for Help?
yes I come to see it all now, you wasn't dare enough to
speak about it, and It's O.k I'm here, I bow down to always
make that beautiful request a treasure to check on you and be there
to the Best of my ability for failing you as your friend Man
how couldn't I see it coming, I though about it all weekend long

but It's O.K. I'm here and don't you worry Girl we are going
to make this mother out with God's Help I'll be:praying for U

IO Storm

Dear Least...

Right now...prayer and medication! Sounds like the best bet for you...shakes huh?

Yeah, they are tough...and can be dangerous....do what the doc said. To the tee.

No more...no less. We alkies tend to think we know better sometimes..*Lol*....

Just *Do * Not * Drink* No* Matter* What* ********

Sobriety is your priority!

You are worth it!

You are not Least...but..the Most precious thing in God's sight, and you

know we love here at SR...

Take care Least....

All love,

:ghug3:

IO

BrixtonBear

Dear Least, lots and lots of hugs and care, from your friend Paddington

:ghug3

barb dwyer

hope you got some sleep.

MagicMan08

never have gotten the shakes....sorry to hear about your relapse least. I have been through a bunch of crap too as you are aware, but no matter what happens, I am alive and nothing like that can be taken from me. Sure my job is a job and I will probably lose it, but life will go on. It causes me a lot of stress, I am almost better just resigning....ugh you know its life. It is getting nice out, I love this time of the year. Go get some exercise....feel alive! BREATHE! Step above the cloud

Toomutch

Least,
I don't know how I missed this thread. I am sorry you have been having such a struggle, you have been through a lot.
I am glad to hear that you sought medical help.
My prayers are with you.

Suzette

least

went to er again this mornign cause of shaking so bad. they gave me a shot of ativan and a scrip for vistaril. so I'm really groggy all day and sleeping all the time. sill feel awful, tho not really awake. will take a vistaril and go to sleep. mayabe tomorrow will feel better. thank you all for being there for me:ghug