Kay~

Thanks Viki. I know it's true...sigh***

Sorry I haven't been around in a while, my phone line was down, so no internet. It took those idiots at verizon three attempts to fix the problem. Sheesh!

Rowan

Well, I'm glad you're here with us today, Kay. Been thinking about ya!

Kay~

Thanks, Rowan. I just read your recovery story...thanks for sharing that.

I'm having trouble sleeping lately. When I do manage to get some sleep, I have a combination of horrible dreams and using dreams. I actually wake up feeling like I really did get high, and feel guilty. It takes me a moment to convince myself that it was just a dream, and that I am still standing strong. I remember this from before, but could never figure out what to do then, either. Any advice?

Rowan

Kay, drinking and/or using dreams are very common. I had one quite recently myself. The brain actually believes it has used - that's why you wake up feeling as though you got high, and the residual guilt.
Just try to accept them as normal and know that they will become less frequent in time.

Thanks for reading my story!

Kay~

Still here...day 27...my mind is playing games with me. "You've gone this long, why not get high tonight? You don't have to do it every day." Yeah, right. First hit, and I'm looking to buy. Not sure how long I can keep this up. Starting to get really itchy, people at work have noticed my mood swings...I'm a total biatch with my son at times...help?

Dee74

hi Kay...good to see you hanging in there....
hmmmmnn mood swings ? when you find out tell me LOL.
you do get progressively more and more 'normal' tho I'm finding...

sorry I have no more to offer than that

D

simplysober

congrats on the 6 days!!!!!!!!


hugs
maria

parentrecovers

sending support and hope out to kay......

Kay~

Thanks...I was having a really bad day when you posted this. I got laid-off from my job without any notice on Friday, and I went straight to my old crutch. I bummed a bud off of a friend, and spent the entire weekend smoking that bud until it was gone. I'm so mad at myself. It was a dumb thing to do, on so many levels. I had 3 weeks under my belt, and the THC was finally leaving my body. Now I have to go and find a job, and although I have only smoked one bud in a month, I know that I could never pass a drug test right now. How am I going to find a job if I can't pass a test?

My new "birthdate" is Tuesday, September 3. I would appreciate any prayers or positive vibes that you guys can send my way. Thanks. K~

Rowan

Welcome back, Kay.

Thanks for your honesty. Sorry about the loss of your job - but I'm glad you made it back to us.

Recovery is possible, remember that if you can.

parentrecovers

hugs, kay. start over. just for today, don't use. k

Rella927

Sending you prayers Kay! Please stick around and keep posting SR has a bunch of wonderful people that know just what you are going through!

Let that sun start shining in...it is a new day!

Dee74

so glad to see you back Kay....start over
hope you work out something with the job thing - prayers to ya

D

SporkGirl

I am moved by your honesty and will to give up bad things in your life. I dont have much to add or advice to give as I am newly sober myself (1st day woot woot)- besides to say that we can do this!

Keep posting and stay strong!

Rusty Zipper

yep kay.. as row mentioned...

its doable!

you will find another job...

we all seem to find one some how, and find a little recovery taboot!

welc back...

xxoo, rz

Kay~

Thanks, everyone, for your support and well-wishes. I have not used since that weekend, and I have been so busy looking for a job, I haven't had much time to think about it or miss it.

Still no job, but I have sent out close to 100 resumes! I figure the more I put myself out there, the more responses that I will get. I am treating this job search as a job, and spend about 8 hours a day online, on the phone, and running around filling out applications. sigh***

Fingers crossed

Rowan

Good for you, Kay. Keep moving forward

Kay~

Whoops...make that September 4th, not 3rd. Musta looked at the calender wrong.

parentrecovers

the 4th it is!

Kay~

Still moving forward, Rowan!

No job yet, but offers are slowly trickling in. It's hard to take a job that pays just a wee bit over unemployment benefits, (which I have not received as of yet!) I think I'll hold out for a decent job, since I have already waited almost 2 weeks. The people at unemployment said I should receive my first check in 3-4 weeks. Having never needed unemployment before, thank God, I sure hope that they are correct. I hope that I have something solid by then, and can use that money to catch-up on things.