stone

Seriously I doubt it. I mean seriously, no they dont. I maybe am codie, as well as an alkie. I said to a few people I 'was saying goodbye' and yes I know that was awful of me.
Really too much to cope with. I wouldnt and will not, and what was I saying it for?
Like a kid? I have now blown away my last few cyber friends, including a couple I needed. Now it is all gone.
On the plus side some of them may look at this and think 'oh you big dope'. You never could! lol. Some may have heard me and just gone 'bang' well I cant cope with that. Well I would have too, I guess. How do I now cope tho? The one person I loved most dropped me in a second. I understand, but it hurt. A second! Wow! So much for love!
So here is just a fkd mind, you can critisize away. I just wish I could take it back.


edit
I will go to bed now like I should have earlier
I spose I wanted to say pls forgive me. To threaten that is unforgivable I know.

Doug

I care.

I'd care more if I knew what the hell you were talking about.

You can send me a PM if you'd like. I'll talk with you.

Alive

You know I care, but i am like doug i have no idea.But i do care, i know what it is to be alone, i'd never do that to anybody!If you need to talk i am here, pm me or anything.I do care.

Anna

I care too Stone. I am sorry that I missed you saying good-bye and I don't know what it's about. Please know that I am always around and you can PM me anytime.

I think we can all get our feelings hurt and want to run away from here sometimes. But, I know for me, this is home and I will stay because I love the peope here.

IO Storm

Stone?

What the heck?

I have seen you grow and overcome much just in the last few months since I've

been here.

I have had my poor little feelings badly hurt..but somehow with the help of the

MODS and greeters..even the Admin....I have been able to work through those

few times....

Because I really need to be here.

I am seeing the "core" of my support ..friends dropping away and it saddens me so

much.

But are you strong enough to leave?

I'm not.

Love,

IO

Smyle

I care stone....

stone

I should say now me 'saying goodbye' was like me saying ahem, I was trying to get rid of people. Like before I committed suicide. So all bad reactions were deserved. I am not going to and I dont know why the hell I said it. I just should sleep now. I am upset about stuff. They will know it when they see it.

Rowan

Hey Stone!

When the heck did you say goodbye, and where was I that I missed it? I'd jump the pond and come pound ya!
I really don't understand why people leave this wonderful wonderful place - because they get their feelings hurt, or pride wounded, or whatever. We are a sensitive lot!
We love you - and I'd miss you terribly if you were to say goodbye to your SR family.
See you when you wake up!! And PM me anytime friend.

Rowan

came2believe

What? What on earth has happened? I obviously missed something. Please, please stay safe. We all care, how could we not? xx

EDIT--> You are mentioning suicide. This is scaring me. Please read the sticky on the top of this forum and DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC!!! PLEASE! If not for you, for me... xx

stone

I wanna make this clear, I am not suicidal at all. My story is, I think I was talking in that way. I am not tho. Please no-one worry. All you are listening too is full blown alcoholism. Well thats a worry I guess, but you know.

Anna

(((Stone)))

stone

This still isnt gonna make sense I think. pm to Rowan but better here


Sorry Rowan was trying to describe how I was talking all suicidal and I didnt know why, but was hurt by someones reaction, but I understood it? I was trying to say goodbye and they sought of caught I was saying 'goodbye'. 5 seconds later I was like OMG! Er... It was all just alcohol. I didnt mean to hurt anyone. I seriously know I fkd in the head tho.

Rowan

It's alright buddy. So easy to misinterpret what's written, that's all.
Ur not fkd in the head - at all. If you are, you're in good company! Quit being so hard on yourself.

stone

Thanks everyone, I read some posts and got into bed and thought 'hang on' they I am suicidal! Had to drag myself out and say no i am not-however, still in shock about people not caring. I fall in love like an idiot, everyone else is holding themselves back! I just cant drop someone in 1 second. Just not possible for me. Still a kid.

Alive

Me too. Everywhere i go i give myself. With friends, with love,aaah....i always get my heart broken.lol....i'm learning....the fact you came out of bed to say that says a lot of you... stay strong

stone

Thanks Karim, still it was me just realisng the wet brain posts lol.
I still dont understand how it all started, just went 'mad'. Not a promising prospect really.

This thread still ends with me losing the same people I love thru my drinking.

Surlyredhead

I care about you too!!! you aren't the only one who ever said something they wish they could take back...I myself have had to be told to stop talking out of my a**. Fortunatly, this is a forgiving program, not a judging one. You are cool with me......lets see how old you are. Like the Ramones said......Gabba Gabba Hey!!!!! (I am okay, you are okay)

Cathy

SaTiT

what da ???
For a minute there I thought you understood me half arss backwards...

okay..I get it...you're trying to fully understand me

xXBacktoBlackXx

I'm glad you're still with us.. I understand what you mean about losing everyone you love to drinking.

stone

Lol!

\thanks again everyon, I am going into deotox tonight.
They say stopping on your own is a bad idea. Well I have done it too often. I need supervision this time. I keep freaking when I try to quit, not the old 15 day thing.
Like 5 hours later I am shaking, heart rate up-full on stuff. I already have a heart condition. So detox this time lol.