stone

I agree with Dee, which goes against my priciples usually!
LOL

igetallnumb

Hi everyone...


Checking in .... sorry I havent been around but I have been sleeping for the past 2 days.... Im only awake because I have work today.. I cant stop yawning... all I wanna do is sleep .... I know its my depression doing this to me it sucks.... the sleep im getting isnt even quality sleep .... its like I never slept

Medication is making me feel so weird I hate it ....

Ive been doing telephone sessions with my therapist.....

Still SI'ng but with all the sleep im getting its less then usual

I missed everyone here thank you for the posts.... ill check in again tomorrow


I gotta get ready now

Talk to everyone tomorrow

Rowan

Good to see you, Jen.

I know what it's like to hide in bed for a couple of days - depression does that to me - I'm glad you're checking in today.

Hope work is good. It will probably help to get out and do something, even for a few hours.

Talk to you soon.

Row

gypsytears

Hi Jen . I'm glad you let us know how you're doing. I am also glad to hear you're in touch with your doctor for therapy. Give the meds a chance to kick in. It takes awhile to see if they're working sometimes. Have a nice day hon .

leeside

You might not feel like you got much out of it, but it might be because your body was hard at work healing itself.

Glad you checked in!

scaredykat

I'm glad you check in. I've been thinking about you. Take care of yourself.

Barb

stone

Thanks for checking in Jen.

Dee74

good to see you J

D

want2live

I/m sober today and thats all I have. I'm amazed when I read the posts on here how much I see myself in them. And its hard for me to relate to anyone.

Many times I wish I could just be normal..... or just fully enjoy my addiction. But I keep coming back. I can't find what I'm looking for.

I too have to cope and I don't have any coping skills. I feel like a weirdo around people sometimes.

I too want to get well, but I don't think I'm ready to go to any lengths. When I look at my life and what I've missed, why am I not willing to do what ever it takes to get better? I want to "get it".

Thanks for sharing.

Rusty Zipper

((( jen, aka... numb'r)))

when i dont have anything to add...

a hug jen...

xxoo, patrick

On~Fire

I dont know much about you or recovery. This is all pretty new to me. One thing i do know is regret. I see that you love one of my favorite bands. Their new song "What Ive Done" makes me feel hope at times. "In this farewell, theres no blood. Theres no alibi. Because ive drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies. So let mercy come and wash away, What ive done. Ive faced myself, to cross out what ive become, Erased myself to let go of what ive done. But to ask, what youve thought of me. Well i cleaned this slate with the hands of uncertainty. So let mercy come and wash away, What ive done."

igetallnumb

Thanks for the love everyone ...

Checking in again ... I have not SI'd in 2 days so thats good... hope I can keep it up I feel like now that I wont have work for 4 days and Im here with triggers I will want to ....

Im a little scared because today I found a lump in my breast doing a self exam .... so I need to go to a doc asap....


Work had kept me busy these days and its good to be around people again.... Im not faking being happy Im just being myself and that feels good If Im sad Im sad no sense in hiding it...in fact I told my boss that I am going through some things and he is very understanding ....

Tomorrow I have a class but I will be back online to check in

I have off for the next 4 days so that will be good I can be on here more and catch up on my journal for you guys ...

Also some more positive news I found a poem I submitted a while ago is being published ....

Take care all miss you guys

scaredykat

Hi Jen. Glad to see you. I've been wondering what happen to you.

That's great your getting your poem published. That's my dream to write a book someday. I've have it started already.

Barb

gypsytears

Wow... congrats on the poem !!!

I'm glad your boss is being understanding Jen. You're right, no sense in faking something if it makes you feel worse. Just be yourself.

2 days is great... .

stone

Hi Jen, Barb and gypsy said it all for me so heres a hug...

Rowan

Hugs, Jen

Thinking of you.

Row

carl11

hang in jen..I am glad your boss understands that must help a a lot.....stay focused..and journal away.....be well..

igetallnumb

Hey everyone

Well I am here and Im glad to be back on posting again... I slept most of the day today been so tired lately...
I checked my email only to discover that I have a job interveiw with continental airlines next month!
I never thought they would pick me to interview its crazy !!!
I mean I love to style hair but this job will be able to take me to the UK faster as I will let them know I want to relocate
Im excited they have 2 places where I can interview for this job as a stewardess ... either Newark airport in New Jersey or Houston Texas..... and if I have to go to Texas they will pay for me to go there!
Weird huh?!

Well I am drug free .... completely.... I had slipped tonight but.... I had tripped so bad I am still having trouble sorting myself out right now everything is very fuzzy and tonight I realized I hate this feeling its not soothing anymore and now I can really say Im done with it all. Ive never felt so strong about quitting.... it makes me sick to even think about it....

I have not cut either I was tempted to but I did some deep breathing and just calmed myself down .... so Im learning to cope....

I cant wait to live ....

scaredykat

Hi Jen.

Hugs to you.

Barb

Dee74

sounding good Jen

D