supertech

Morning Jen
Some stuff I would like to say to you:
You have been so honest with yourself and the folks on this website. That's not an easy thing to do!!! But you've done it.......

You are having a bad time of it at the moment but you are seeking help.

You are also looking forward to your move to the UK

I'm no psychiatrist but even I can see you are making progress.

And you do have friends, lots of them. And when you do get to the UK, i'd be more than happy to help you in anyway I can. If you are comfortable with the idea of meeting someone from this website in person, then i'll come and find you wherever you are in the UK.
Or if that's not something you are ok doing, then i'll phone you.

Keep posting Jen..........

TTFN from ST

igetallnumb

I would love that .... I would love to meet up with you when I arrive

Gosh all I need is plane fare

So today I tried going back to work, got on the train and i was panicked I felt like I have been removed from society for a while... .... I couldnt make it the whole day my foot blew up like a balloon so I went home....

Now Im here and im even more depressed than ever..... its going to be a long night and my moods are completely messed up

micepod

Jen

I'm sorry that you had a rough day. I know that awful panicky feeling. I think that we addicts get that feeling a lot.

I wish I had words of wisdom. I can just say that I care and that I am thinking about you.

Karen

Emily2002

Thinking of you all day, Jen.

Early this morning I finally had time to read what's been going on in your life. The REAL you is as wonderful as the one I first met when I reached out for help the other night.

Praying that you're load will get lighter.

Liz

gypsytears

Hi Jen . Read about your day. As bad as it seems, you did get out and go even if you didn't make a full day. That's something. Hang in there... thinking about you.

Luckyv2

Hon there are many people not only here at this site but many others that I attend. Not only do I have contact with many on the boards, but I also have many of there phone numbers. I have people here too where I live. However, I have found it so much easier for ME to talk to people on these boards on the phone. Especially when something is really bringing me down.

We are all in this together. Guess what? Most of us here have limited long distance. because we not only communicate here but on the phones. Now I am almost POSITIVE that any one here that you think that you can relate too would be more than honored to PM there phone number to you! These people are GREAT!

ONLY ONE SUGGESTION THOUGH

ONLY ASK FOR WOMENS NUMBERS

I am not against guys because I am one. But the thing about it is you need to work on you. The best way to do that is through the women here that work a good PROGRAM. If you want I can PM you some womens phone numbers that would be more than happy to talk to you. YES I have womens numbers but I have been clean for awhile so that is OK.

Take Care

Still believe in you as well as me.

Jules62

Yes!

There is tons of support for you here Jen-and I agree with chance-better to get it from the women here for now.It's very easy to become too attached to others early in recovery and if they're male?It can get really complicated if you're not careful and right now it's the last thing you need.Focus on you!

I'm not often around when you are because of the time difference but there are many here who I know would be able to talk with you.Hang in there sweetie,

Jules xox

igetallnumb

Hello everyone...

Well tonight has been strange.. I manged to eat something today ... and I layed in bed for a while just thinking...

You guys need to know that the posts you post in here bring light in my otherwise dark day...

Thank you all for that

My body has been reacting to the SI.... I dunno what happened but where I had done it there is now welts on my body there.... I might have infected that area....

The scary part is if I go see my doc he will throw me in the ward... Im not ashamed of the ward as Ive been there before but I am terrified of it... Im scared of everything lately... when i was in the ward the last time they made me strip down to my underwear while they counted my cuts.... it was most humiliating feeling in the world.... standing there on display like a lab experiment while they counted and wrote in their books about me

I used to be so fearless, now I fear everything. I look outsode my window and am scared of the outside...scared of people

Im glad you guys read up on me, now I feel like people do care and in my case that is the most important feeling...

scaredykat

Hi Jen, just wanted to say hello. I'm glad you got out even if it wasn't all day.

Barb

chicago

come on now. i used to take acid and shoot heroin at the same time just to START to get high. nobody can top anyone here because we're all the same. you are not alone!!! people dont come to AA because they acted sane...they come here to be with people equally as insane who understand.

igetallnumb

Thank you for your post...

I wasnt trying to top anyone..... this fourm aint for cutters primarily and I was just saying some people on here wouldnt think of cutting themselves up like I do so I let them in to what its like for 2% of the population...

This isnt a contest.... and if it was I wouldnt want to win either....

I was being honest with my feelings ...when you go through 10 years of your life with a horrific secret under your clothes and finally get enough balls to tell people the rituals you have to go through on a daily basis just to keep yourself out of the psych ward, you would hate to think one person thinks your trying out do everyone else here by saying they are worse off.....

Everyone here has/had it bad..... I just choose to let my demons out for everyone to see and Im not pretending to be fine anymore, Im not fine.....everyone here is the same yes in one way with addiction but we all have things about us that makes us different and mine is mutilationg myself.... thats all I was trying to say

Jules62

Jen sweetie,

I think chicago was trying to remind you of what we have in common-that's all.No competing here-we'd all win(or lose really huh?LOL)

I know you're really down and it's great you're posting what's going on with you.We really are all here to support you hon.Nothing backhanded meant.

(not to speak on chicagos behalf-it's just that I remember being ultra sensitive in the first 2 weeks of withdrawal/recovery too)

We're here for you,

Jules xox

igetallnumb

I know at first I thought maybe it was comming off as something like "i got it worse than all of you" I dont.... im just a little different we all are.... guess I worded it wrong or something....

And yea I am sensitive... its not everyday I open up .... when your told to "shut the **** up" everyday of your life it takes alot to open your mouth to anyone .... or in this case type


thanks for being there for me jules

Daisy1975

Yes definitely no competition in cutting! Or mental health problems for that matter - who would want to win?

micepod

Jen

What's your day like today?

thinking about you.

Karen

GlassPrisoner

You're in the right place

I don't about you, but there were times when I was convinced everything everyone was saying was directed at me, and whatever they were saying wasn't good !

stone

How are you today Jen?

gypsytears

Jen. How are you doing today?

scaredykat

Hi Jen, how are you doing today? If you need to talk you can PM me.

Barb

Dee74

check in Jen.

D