Smyle

I always did cold turkey ....I have no experience with the sub...

I can tell you that I abused drugs for a long time and i now have 10 months clean...it does get better...the first 3 or 4 months were a nightmare but it really starts to mellow out after that...

I am glad you are here and welcome to the mommies thread....

igfan

hi everyone....the "thanks" button is not working again......but i just wanted to say "thanks" to everyone for your kind words and support. YOU ALL ROCK!

Smyle

OMG...okay I am about to scream....

while I was doing my community service I worked with this 70 yr old guy Harry...well he has been calling me everyday like 3 times a day cause he misses me....

I just ripped his *ss and I am feeling very bad for doing it...he is totally forgetful and won't remember calling me earlier...

He calls from another workers phone (that has my # cause I gave her a ride home...she is cool but I am gonna talk to her tonight) I am mad cause I helped her out and gave he a ride..when it was freezing and out of my way...and he lets him call me all the time.
I know...she can't read my mind and I don't want her to be in a bad spot...but come on already......

CAN YOU SAY BOUNDRIES...

venting...breathing...venting...breathing...

I am so irritated at the 2 of them....

nogard

ggood to get it out.

Morning Mums

mikiglen

((((ruby)))) ((( beezy))))
(((everyone else)))
beezy, i am beginning to think we have a lot in common...be very afraid
i talked at length also with mikayla's teacher....she also thinks taylor (the little girl) may be a lot of the emotional distress miki is having, and recommends my not keeping her as much to give mik a break. so i am going to try that, as well as talk to her tonite.
beezy, see, that would have scared the hell outta me.
my oldest, when she was in kindergarten, went to a school about twenty miles from us. i drove her every single morning, as well as took miki to day care. well, the school called me one morning wanting to know how on earth i could send my five year old all the way out there alone in a TAXI???? say WHAT????
kids say the darndest things
again, i am just so very thankful that i am as involved in mikayla's school as i am

pookielolo

((Misti)) hope all works out well, What Beezy said is so true"negative attention seeking" sometimes the kids that are no trouble don't get the same attention, bad or good, so they will find a way, and sometimes kids say the darndest things, whatever your case might be you are doing a great job!!!
Hope all goes well, thinking of you and Mikayla
xoxo

pookielolo

STORM __ I see you, I forgot earlier I wanted to tell you that your post meant alot to me, and I so appreciated it
Thanks!!

ayla zaire

gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

nogard

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

IO Storm

Hi Dev Angel.

Thank you C'est la vie for offering positive advice.

Love, IO Storm

curlylocks

hi ya sophie!!

ok wow i just tired to read back....
ruby hugs to you!! you are always loved.
ig-- congrats -- a little late
jane great post my thanks is not working
sorry i wish i had more to go into
.
but 3 yr old has sinus infection, ear infection, pink eye in one eye and some weird swelling infection in the other.
my 18 mth old has a double ear infection, bronchitis, wheezing (so on this nebulizer treatment) and viral pneumonia
which thanks be to whoever, is not nearly as bad as the bacterial pneumonia he had at christmas.

they are both sick but i don't know, the 3 yr. old's eye is red and practically swollen shut, the 18 mth old never stops coughing...

AM I DOING SOMETHING WRONG?

I want a GD drink soooooooooooooooooo bad,,, and really i would have one if i wasn't so scared i wouldn't wake up when the kids are up and crying in the middle of the night.

i am depressed
and i just spent over the last 4 days over 300.00 in meds/copays and that does not even include the coinsurance i will be billed for later.. such BS

and where is Cody -- i don;'t know what happened to her?

and my DH did rush to dr.s office today b/c i was losing it with both kids there and having to give one the nebulizer but now he uses it as an excuse to work late....

depressed!!

i know i am a bummer.
i suck! sorry !
i really do suck lately.

IO Storm

Ayla:

When I pulled up your reply I burst into tears. I had to get a cold drink (soda lol. ), sit back, take a deep breath, and
look inside before thanking you so very very much for your encouraging and inspiring words to folks on this thread.

I was a "good Christian mother" to my two girls. But when my son Chris was born 10 years after my baby daughter (C), I knew that this was my soulmate, that there would always be an unconditional love between us "no matter what".

My eldest daughter, (J) has not yet forgiven me for divorcing her father and then becoming an alcoholic myself when I was in my early 30's. My (C), precious middle child was sort of lost in everything. Both daughters are successful professionals, have successful relationships, and given me 3 fantastic grandchildren.

I swore to myself when I left their dad my children would never know of the abuses I had suffered, to this date I have honored that decision.

When I crashed last year, {for my own protection, let's such say I committed some acts unbelievable to myself and family members.}

Letting my son down was so hard to work through. The thought of him pounding walls in rage and unbelief....He would not speak to me for two months or so, but when I showed up accidentally at my mom's and he was there..I opened my arms and he fell into them. All he wanted to know was why?
My middle girl (C, bless her heart) e mailed me on my first day of recovery, (the last pill taken, and all confessed to my medical doctor), and sent me the lyrics of Christian song that had helped her thru some tough times. She said
she wanted me to get help and get well and that all my children loved me.

I carried those papers in my purse for months.

Parentified (J) my big baby has not and I do not know if she ever will forgive. She doesn't have to, I don't blame her, but it hurts so much. I turn that over like I must everything else, every day.

So, as I said before, I have many labels, but the one I am really proud of is "Mama".

Hope this helped someone today.


Love,

IO Storm

ayla zaire

lol...now it's my turn to cry....i'm very emotional this week.....everyone here is showing me so much love....

jules1973

(((misti))) motherhood can be so very trying....I know with my son if something is going on emotionally it comes out in the strangest of ways.....negative attention is better than no attention for them (sometimes). How old is she?

((Ruby))....you have not dissapointed me (I only try to speak for myself)....I am sending prayers your way that you will find your path.....keep talking to us through it all...no matter what "keep coming back".

CONGRATS IG!!!! Six months is amazing! Only 28 more days until you have seven months!!!!

(((Curly))), (((Beezy))), keep your chins up....just after the moon comes the sun and a brand new day!

Welcome Florida.....you will definately find people here that "get" what you are going through. I do not have experience with that particular med but I do know it does even out with time......cold turkey is the only way I have ever quit because tapering or going onto another pill just did not work for me....I always found my way back to using. My DH is a straight arrow as well....he has never been addicted to ANYTHING in his life so I know how that feels. It will take time but the sooner you kick everything the better off you will be......follow the advice of a professional, get a support group around you and as soon as you start taking the healthy steps of recovery, your DH will be on board.....getting through the first few days/weeks will be the hardest but there is DEFINATELY help available.....do not feel alone!

I am doing better tonight......long day at work but the knee is finally calming a little bit. Thank you all for being there through this time in my life.....having friends like all of you made the long days and long nights bareable.......
and the most wonderful part of all of it is that I don't have to detox off of anything!!!! We did it......we got through this patch!

Love to all of you!
Jules

jules1973

((Ayla)) you are always so supportive of everyone here.....you are loving and gentle, your words always have meaning, emotion and honesty. Why are you so emotional?

jules1973

I don't think you felt "normal" on methadone....I think you are probably looking for that same feeling now...I hate to define normal but I have learned through my history with opiates that the lie we believe is that we are functioning at a "better" pace with those chemicals in our body. I did not know my "normal" until I was off of everything and it took me a while to understand that is was healthy. Being able to actually feel my highs and lows....reacting to things level headed (sometimes) without overdramatizing situations.....less moody.....more aware.....my relationship with my son became so much healthier and he has loved having a "present" mother. So my advice to you would be to understand that if you stay off of the methadone.....you will feel different which will lead to healthier.....I am not sure any of us can define what we feel in recovery as "normal".... but I do define it as a new life....a brand new me!

ayla zaire

ok, girls......i really don't mean to be miss depressing......one of my friends from when i was younger killed himself on saturday......shot himself......i have not seen him in years, but i used to babysit his little boy.....when i was pregnant with chase and when chase was little......i remember how amazed at how smart he was.....i had these posters all over my house and he was only 2, but he could point out who each of the posters was.....he used to think uma thurman in the pulp fiction poster was me....

i don't know....like i said i had not seen him in years but he was someone i thought of, and wondered about, you know? he was a good friend....it seems like once a week someone dies that i cared about and i'm really tired of being strong.....i don't know if i'll go to his funeral tomorrow....chase's dad will be their and i have not seen him in 11 yrs and i really don't want to see him.....don't want to open that sh!t up.....i mean the moron has not called me once in 11 years.....i'll send a sympathy card to the family........

i'm gonna go read, something might cheer me up, but i'm tired of death, it is everywhere right now.....

hugs
ayla

jules1973

Beautiful IO STORM.......simply beautiful.
I am glad I have sober and clean eyes to be able to see everything that comes through this god given thread.

jules1973

((((Ayla)))) You do not have to be there if it is going to do more damage to you than good. Sending a card and maybe some flowers would be simply stated and perfect if you ask me. You can greive the loss in your own way....don't inflict yourself with the frustration of seeing your ex. Your friend that passed will certainly understand.
I am sorry that you are sad......

Pilgrim

Poor Ayla. You are going through such a tough time right now. I wish it would stop and give you a break already.

You need cheering up.

Here.

A love song might help.