Not sure if anyone will remember me, Hi, I'm back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Rock band, how fun!!
Yep yep, you should go bowling! I swear it was a blast! ....BUT, today it feels like I've been hit by a truck, hehe!!! Good for me though!
I worry about that very same thing. Getting TOO comfortable right now with loving sobriety to the point where I get happy enough to 'celebrate'. I KNOW that a day will come when the urge is going to hit me like a ton of rocks, and I pray I will stay strong as you and everyone else on here have been. When the day comes, if I haven't been to a meeting yet, I will get in the car and go. This new life of mine is more important than ANYTHING, and I will do whatever I have to, to protect it.
I still have mixed feelings about AA, but if the urge comes to pick up a beer, what do I have to lose????
Yep yep, you should go bowling! I swear it was a blast! ....BUT, today it feels like I've been hit by a truck, hehe!!! Good for me though!
I worry about that very same thing. Getting TOO comfortable right now with loving sobriety to the point where I get happy enough to 'celebrate'. I KNOW that a day will come when the urge is going to hit me like a ton of rocks, and I pray I will stay strong as you and everyone else on here have been. When the day comes, if I haven't been to a meeting yet, I will get in the car and go. This new life of mine is more important than ANYTHING, and I will do whatever I have to, to protect it.
I still have mixed feelings about AA, but if the urge comes to pick up a beer, what do I have to lose????
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Sounds like sobriety is going pretty good for you, CONGRATS!
Not to be negative, only realistic, some experience a "pink cloud" when newly sober.
Your comment about going to a meeting "if the urge comes to pick up a beer" prompted me to post.
It has been my experience, alcohol is but a symptom.
Once sober, we are the same people, now w/o alcohol.
The same disatisifed mind, irritible & discontented.
It's a Mind Powered Disease.
It's our THINKING which needs treating.
For me, I need to build a WHOLE NEW CHARACTER.
I'm just now obtaining a better understanding of all this, after not having a drink since May, 2001.
You can benefit from countless others, lol, and not have to wait!
Tom
Not to be negative, only realistic, some experience a "pink cloud" when newly sober.
Your comment about going to a meeting "if the urge comes to pick up a beer" prompted me to post.
It has been my experience, alcohol is but a symptom.
Once sober, we are the same people, now w/o alcohol.
The same disatisifed mind, irritible & discontented.
It's a Mind Powered Disease.
It's our THINKING which needs treating.
For me, I need to build a WHOLE NEW CHARACTER.
I'm just now obtaining a better understanding of all this, after not having a drink since May, 2001.
You can benefit from countless others, lol, and not have to wait!
Tom
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 557
tj, to carry on from before I had to dash out.Today was another test for me because my other lad works for the same company as me and today he started a bricklaying course at college( one day a week) so I didn't have him with me on the way home.I did think on two occasions about how I could stop off for booze and get away with it, but do you know tj I got a mad rush of guilt for it even crossing my mind.I guess all the old feelings I used to get when drinking flashed in front of me.The guilt, the remorse, the shame,the shear frustration at the trap I was in.At AA they talk of a higher power and tj if i've got one then today he made me feel those things so tommorrow will be day 51 and not day 1 again.
Hey tj I know you to will be strong enough to resist the mental obsession when king alcohol comes calling youve proved that by getting to day 11 and now your starting to have fun days without the beer and thats what its all about.Living sober just for today.And tj you could have woken up with your head feeling like a trucks hit it,but you didnt and thats brilliant.
take care
chris
Hey tj I know you to will be strong enough to resist the mental obsession when king alcohol comes calling youve proved that by getting to day 11 and now your starting to have fun days without the beer and thats what its all about.Living sober just for today.And tj you could have woken up with your head feeling like a trucks hit it,but you didnt and thats brilliant.
take care
chris
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Hi Chris, Fred and Tom!!
Tom,
That pink cloud is what scares me. All i know, is if I am in it, I love it and I hope I stay in it til the day I die. AA scares me worse though. It really does. It was a huge trigger for me last time. I would fight tooth and nail to not drink after meetings. After thinking hard on this the last few days, I've decided to not go unless the urge comes to drink. I know you are trying to help me Tom, I do, and I thank you for that. I feel content & happy in my shoes right now, and if that even STARTS to change, I will go. I promise you that, because I want to be sober.
Chris,
Good job on NOT stopping for the booze! And the thing is, is you say "and get away with it", but see YOU would know. And YOU are the one you are trying to save here, correct? This is such a conniving disease!! way to go on day 51!!
I didn't say anything to anyone on here, but Saturday my Dad said some things to me that really hurt. Hurt bad. Normally any other time, I would have said "screw this, I'll show him!" and get beer. Stupid thinking huh? Well, I thought & thought, and cried. Then, after realizing that the person I would be hurting the most is myself if I did, and I dont want that anymore. I think I'm lucky to be alive. God has plans for me and I KNOW this, as I am a cancer survivor of 6 years now. He could have easily said, "ok tj, you've done everything you were supposed to do and it's time to come home". But he didn't! I'm supposed to be doing 'something' with my life, and I know for sure it's not drinking. I have a strong feeling that I am supposed to be helping other breast cancer victims, or maybe other alcoholics someday. But I need to help me first.
Hey guys I need to go to the store and get some pork chops, back soon!!
Be easy on me now, I'm dancing as fast as i can.
Tom,
That pink cloud is what scares me. All i know, is if I am in it, I love it and I hope I stay in it til the day I die. AA scares me worse though. It really does. It was a huge trigger for me last time. I would fight tooth and nail to not drink after meetings. After thinking hard on this the last few days, I've decided to not go unless the urge comes to drink. I know you are trying to help me Tom, I do, and I thank you for that. I feel content & happy in my shoes right now, and if that even STARTS to change, I will go. I promise you that, because I want to be sober.
Chris,
Good job on NOT stopping for the booze! And the thing is, is you say "and get away with it", but see YOU would know. And YOU are the one you are trying to save here, correct? This is such a conniving disease!! way to go on day 51!!
I didn't say anything to anyone on here, but Saturday my Dad said some things to me that really hurt. Hurt bad. Normally any other time, I would have said "screw this, I'll show him!" and get beer. Stupid thinking huh? Well, I thought & thought, and cried. Then, after realizing that the person I would be hurting the most is myself if I did, and I dont want that anymore. I think I'm lucky to be alive. God has plans for me and I KNOW this, as I am a cancer survivor of 6 years now. He could have easily said, "ok tj, you've done everything you were supposed to do and it's time to come home". But he didn't! I'm supposed to be doing 'something' with my life, and I know for sure it's not drinking. I have a strong feeling that I am supposed to be helping other breast cancer victims, or maybe other alcoholics someday. But I need to help me first.
Hey guys I need to go to the store and get some pork chops, back soon!!
Be easy on me now, I'm dancing as fast as i can.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 557
Hey tj, thankyou!!! This is why I love this board so friggin much.Your absolutely right I had forgoten the very thing that I have held on to through all of this.The fact that for to long I had lied to others and this time I wasn't going to lie to myself.I even finished my thread last night with " To thine ownself be true " .
Just goes to show how much us addicts need to do this,one persons story is another persons lifeline,thanx again for being here.
Hey tj you did the right thing with your dad.Somebodies sig on here is: Temper brings the best qualities out of steel & the worst qualities out of people, or words to that effect.
Your right also about being where we are at now for a reason,just by sharing our experience,strength & hope we can act as lighthouses for fellow travellors
tj.
And tj dont be cooking them pork chops with onion & cider! LOL.
chris
Just goes to show how much us addicts need to do this,one persons story is another persons lifeline,thanx again for being here.
Hey tj you did the right thing with your dad.Somebodies sig on here is: Temper brings the best qualities out of steel & the worst qualities out of people, or words to that effect.
Your right also about being where we are at now for a reason,just by sharing our experience,strength & hope we can act as lighthouses for fellow travellors
tj.
And tj dont be cooking them pork chops with onion & cider! LOL.
chris
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
hehe!!!!!! onion & cider??? Not too good ey?? 
Naaa, I got some extra crispy shake-n-bake this time. Haven't had it that way in a while. Then I'm making salad and baked potato, super easy dinner!!
yep yep, we can do this and we ARE. Thank god!!! Thank you for being here too
Naaa, I got some extra crispy shake-n-bake this time. Haven't had it that way in a while. Then I'm making salad and baked potato, super easy dinner!!
yep yep, we can do this and we ARE. Thank god!!! Thank you for being here too
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 401
Way to go TJ!! I'm so very proud of you. I made it through day #5. God I wanted a beer so bad after work today but I drove past my liquor store and went to DQ for a blizzard instead. I'm not too worried about developing an ice cream addiction at this point. Hope you're having a great night!!
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Hi tj, I'm so glad things are going wo well.
I was ROFL reading this post of yours...
Thanks for sharing this story, it shows what a wonderful sense of humor you have. Humor is a great stress reliever, so keep on laughing!!
lol, (((((((((hope3))))))))
I was ROFL reading this post of yours...
Originally Posted by I_am_tj 
Hi everyone!!
Thanks for the congrats on day 10, means a lot to me!! We had so much fun today. Bowling was a blast, and I highly recommend it to everyone. I felt like I was on a natural high the whole time, didn't think about beer, not even one little bit. And OMG, I need to get in shape, LOL! My legs and my right arm feel like they are going to fall OFF! We decided we are going to go every Sunday from now on... LOL, I fell down the first two balls I threw, no kidding, Hubby was almost crying he was laughing so hard. Then during the 3rd game, when I went to throw the ball, I dropped it behind me. I guarantee you peeps were watching out of the corner of their eye just waiting to see what would happen next when it was my turn.
Hugs all, & sweet dreams!!
Thanks for the congrats on day 10, means a lot to me!! We had so much fun today. Bowling was a blast, and I highly recommend it to everyone. I felt like I was on a natural high the whole time, didn't think about beer, not even one little bit. And OMG, I need to get in shape, LOL! My legs and my right arm feel like they are going to fall OFF! We decided we are going to go every Sunday from now on... LOL, I fell down the first two balls I threw, no kidding, Hubby was almost crying he was laughing so hard. Then during the 3rd game, when I went to throw the ball, I dropped it behind me. I guarantee you peeps were watching out of the corner of their eye just waiting to see what would happen next when it was my turn.
Hugs all, & sweet dreams!!
lol, (((((((((hope3))))))))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
mercurial me,
Way to go dude!!!! Keep up the good work! And, hey, an ice cream addiction wont give you a hang over and it's much cheaper! yum, throw some in the blender once in a while with a little milk and have a milkshake!!
Hiya Hope!!!
I'm happy that I could make you laugh!! I LOVE to laugh and love making others laugh as well. Hope did you read the story I put on the follies page about waxing yet? If not, that one will just crack you up! Guaranteed!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-i-found.html
Hi Chris!!
Day is going great so far, thanks!! Hows yours going? Still sore from bowling though LOL! Just proves how much I need to get in shape. I cant wait til Sunday when we go again. This time my daughter and son-in-law are going to go with us. We already have the babysitter all lined up for that day!! YAY!
Way to go dude!!!! Keep up the good work! And, hey, an ice cream addiction wont give you a hang over and it's much cheaper! yum, throw some in the blender once in a while with a little milk and have a milkshake!!
Hiya Hope!!!
I'm happy that I could make you laugh!! I LOVE to laugh and love making others laugh as well. Hope did you read the story I put on the follies page about waxing yet? If not, that one will just crack you up! Guaranteed!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-i-found.html
Hi Chris!!
Day is going great so far, thanks!! Hows yours going? Still sore from bowling though LOL! Just proves how much I need to get in shape. I cant wait til Sunday when we go again. This time my daughter and son-in-law are going to go with us. We already have the babysitter all lined up for that day!! YAY!
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
"After thinking hard on this the last few days, I've decided to not go unless the urge comes to drink."
TJ, seroiusly.........this does NOT have anything to do with drinking.
It's OUR THINKING!
It took me years to realize this. Really.
I has been my expereince, sobriety grows on several levels. Mine is now taking an AWESOME jump in growth!
Has it occurred to you, it has nothing to due with AA, only you?
Not trying to be harsh, but encouraging an open mind, something I thought I had, but upon further search, I realized I didn't!
Tom
TJ, seroiusly.........this does NOT have anything to do with drinking.
It's OUR THINKING!
It took me years to realize this. Really.
I has been my expereince, sobriety grows on several levels. Mine is now taking an AWESOME jump in growth!
Has it occurred to you, it has nothing to due with AA, only you?
Not trying to be harsh, but encouraging an open mind, something I thought I had, but upon further search, I realized I didn't!
Tom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
dear Tom, 
just kidding.
How about we compromise and I will promise that I will give it some more thought. I know your not trying to be harsh, you are only trying to help me. I swear I get a hotflash every time AA even enters my mind at this point in time. I dont know? maybe I'm just too afraid of going digging into my head too far right now? All I know is whatever I'm doing right now is working great. Its like the saying "Don't go fixing something thats not broken"........even though I might be! I don't feel that way at the moment though.
just kidding.
How about we compromise and I will promise that I will give it some more thought. I know your not trying to be harsh, you are only trying to help me. I swear I get a hotflash every time AA even enters my mind at this point in time. I dont know? maybe I'm just too afraid of going digging into my head too far right now? All I know is whatever I'm doing right now is working great. Its like the saying "Don't go fixing something thats not broken"........even though I might be! I don't feel that way at the moment though.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Hey, my heads hurts now.............lol..........
So, a hot flash? You old are you?
LMAO, sorry, couldn't resist.
I can say, virtually all AA meetings vary, and it is understandable you had a less than favorable experience.
I have narrowed it down myself, and some I have no interest in attending at all!
"maybe I'm just too afraid of going digging into my head too far right now?"
Interesting........perhaps, good thought, this applies to many.
It's a REAL process!
Consider this, then WHY did you drink in the first place?
No need to answer me if ya' don't feel like it. Only you.
OH, where in OR are you? I went to college in McMinnville, and OR is one of my favorite places, ever.
So, a hot flash? You old are you?
LMAO, sorry, couldn't resist.
I can say, virtually all AA meetings vary, and it is understandable you had a less than favorable experience.
I have narrowed it down myself, and some I have no interest in attending at all!
"maybe I'm just too afraid of going digging into my head too far right now?"
Interesting........perhaps, good thought, this applies to many.
It's a REAL process!
Consider this, then WHY did you drink in the first place?
No need to answer me if ya' don't feel like it. Only you.
OH, where in OR are you? I went to college in McMinnville, and OR is one of my favorite places, ever.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Hi Tom,
Southern Oregon, near Medford. I love oregon too, wouldn't want to live anywhere else. I lived in Leadville Colo. for a year (highest city in the US) wayyyyyy too cold there! Learned how to ski for free though, I worked at Copper Mountain.
"Consider this, then WHY did you drink in the first place?"
well, it all started way back when I was about 18ish. I partied with my friends. Never much really, hell, 2 beers would get me ripped back then.
ahhh the days!!
Then, as the years went by I drank 3, then 4, then 5. etc....
I worked my whole life up until a few years ago. I retired early as hubby makes plenty. I was Very productive with everything I did, honestly. Once I found out I had cancer, I really started drinking more heavy. About 1/2 rack a day (12 beers or so). I was simply on my pity pot as some call it. I felt I was going to die for quite a while. It was scary. Had a bilateral (both boobs) radical mastectomy. I was FLAT, no nipples (cant believe I'm saying this on here!) for 6 months while they gave me chemo. having been used to being quite "built", was tough to stand in front of my husband naked. Lost a lot of my hair. I have long hair, always have, so THAT was hard to swallow also. So there I sat day in and day out for 6 months, flat, almost bald, bags under my eyes from puking all the time. Well, the beer soothed my stomach and helped me sleep. Tis why I drank even more THEN.
Then, I got reconstruction. THANK GOD!!!! My hair finally started coming back in. Well, by now, I'm an alcoholic. Since then, (about 6 1/2 years ago) my drinking gradually got worse and worse as the years went by. Up to about 18 beers or so a day 3 years later. A couple years ago when I retired, here I am home all day. Go out to work in the yard "hell, why not have a beer?"...then as the months go by, I start an hour earlier at a time, until I start drinking in the morning. It progressed!! So here I am!!!
No more "pity pot" got boobs back, got my long hair back.
The only thing that I AM afraid of is worry!! I worry like crazy. My Son went to Baghdad Iraq the same year that I retired. He spent a year there. I drank that year away, believe me!!!!!!!!!!
Well he goes back for a second tour in about 2 months for another year (thanks alot Bush!) and THATS where things are going to get sticky. I need to get through it without a drink.
Sorry to anyone that took offense to my very "descriptive" story. But at least you can see what my pity pot looked like.
Southern Oregon, near Medford. I love oregon too, wouldn't want to live anywhere else. I lived in Leadville Colo. for a year (highest city in the US) wayyyyyy too cold there! Learned how to ski for free though, I worked at Copper Mountain.
"Consider this, then WHY did you drink in the first place?"
well, it all started way back when I was about 18ish. I partied with my friends. Never much really, hell, 2 beers would get me ripped back then.
ahhh the days!!Then, as the years went by I drank 3, then 4, then 5. etc....
I worked my whole life up until a few years ago. I retired early as hubby makes plenty. I was Very productive with everything I did, honestly. Once I found out I had cancer, I really started drinking more heavy. About 1/2 rack a day (12 beers or so). I was simply on my pity pot as some call it. I felt I was going to die for quite a while. It was scary. Had a bilateral (both boobs) radical mastectomy. I was FLAT, no nipples (cant believe I'm saying this on here!) for 6 months while they gave me chemo. having been used to being quite "built", was tough to stand in front of my husband naked. Lost a lot of my hair. I have long hair, always have, so THAT was hard to swallow also. So there I sat day in and day out for 6 months, flat, almost bald, bags under my eyes from puking all the time. Well, the beer soothed my stomach and helped me sleep. Tis why I drank even more THEN.
Then, I got reconstruction. THANK GOD!!!! My hair finally started coming back in. Well, by now, I'm an alcoholic. Since then, (about 6 1/2 years ago) my drinking gradually got worse and worse as the years went by. Up to about 18 beers or so a day 3 years later. A couple years ago when I retired, here I am home all day. Go out to work in the yard "hell, why not have a beer?"...then as the months go by, I start an hour earlier at a time, until I start drinking in the morning. It progressed!! So here I am!!!
No more "pity pot" got boobs back, got my long hair back.
The only thing that I AM afraid of is worry!! I worry like crazy. My Son went to Baghdad Iraq the same year that I retired. He spent a year there. I drank that year away, believe me!!!!!!!!!!
Well he goes back for a second tour in about 2 months for another year (thanks alot Bush!) and THATS where things are going to get sticky. I need to get through it without a drink.
Sorry to anyone that took offense to my very "descriptive" story. But at least you can see what my pity pot looked like.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Hi Tj,
You're doing great and I'm glad to see you hanging in there.
You've gone through a lot with breast cancer and it has to be a huge turning point in your life. You're right, that you are meant to be here now. That was a huge thing for me to realize. I felt so bad about myself and my life and to realize that I could have died, but hadn't, was the thing that kept me going in the early days of sobriety. You have made a difference and you can continue to make a difference.
You're doing great and I'm glad to see you hanging in there.
You've gone through a lot with breast cancer and it has to be a huge turning point in your life. You're right, that you are meant to be here now. That was a huge thing for me to realize. I felt so bad about myself and my life and to realize that I could have died, but hadn't, was the thing that kept me going in the early days of sobriety. You have made a difference and you can continue to make a difference.
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