Any Moms Out There Keeping Sane While Not Using Part 5
(((Beezy)))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: here, there, everywhere
Posts: 2,112
hugs beez
i need help
my asthma is really really bad, i am thinking of calling the medics for a treatment. the four kids are all out of control. i have no phone to call mom, she was supposed to be here at three to get jake and didn't show up or im me
any suggestions on how to deal with being sick while still taking care of kids without yelling?
i just want to sleep and i can't
i need help
my asthma is really really bad, i am thinking of calling the medics for a treatment. the four kids are all out of control. i have no phone to call mom, she was supposed to be here at three to get jake and didn't show up or im me
any suggestions on how to deal with being sick while still taking care of kids without yelling?
i just want to sleep and i can't
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Middle Ga
Posts: 1,515
To everyone off to a holiday affair... Be good, stay strong, know how much more beautiful you are with a crisp, clear sparkle in your eye.
I took a nap today!! It was great!! I never do that. The therapist asked yesterday.. so what do you do for you??? I've been wrapping and checking in.
((( ))) & xoxo
T
I took a nap today!! It was great!! I never do that. The therapist asked yesterday.. so what do you do for you??? I've been wrapping and checking in.
((( ))) & xoxo
T
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: niagara falls, ontario
Posts: 173
hello ladies i'm here for you if any bill collector is harrasing you
that's what i do for a living ladies, i do financial recovery so if anyone needs any advice ect.. i'm here for you's and don't be embarrased we've all been there!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Olalla, WA
Posts: 10
It's been a couple of days since I've checked in. I guess it's no coincidence that I'm back on day one. My husband went out of town Friday and I came home early from work. I was in the house with no kids and no husband to keep from harming myself. It wasn't a terrible night, I didn't drink myself into a stupor. I did drive, which was a very poor decision. When I got home, I felt so bad about it that I asked my 11 year old to dump out a nearly full bottle of wine. The rest of the evening went okay.
My husband found out this morning. He's very disappointed. He wants to arrange his work schedule so that he is always home when I'm home. He thinks that will solve the problem. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I feel he's overbearing sometimes in his need to try and control the situation. Sometimes he drives me insane, how he's always trying to "fix" me. I don't think he gets that if I want to drink, I'm going to and there's very little he can do to stop me.
He keeps accusing me of not "wanting" to quit, as though that's such a horrible thing. I've been reading some of the passages from some of the other ladies and it doesn't appear as though any of us "want" to quit. It's a matter of needing to stop. I'd love to be able to drink what I want, when I want. But, the fact of the matter is, if I do that than I'm risking losing everything that I love. He says it hurts him that I'm choosing alcohol over my family. I don't ever recall making that type of choice, but I guess I can see how he can interpret it as such.
I'm so depressed right now. I feel terribly guilty and ashamed. Why do I keep hurting the people I love so much?
My husband found out this morning. He's very disappointed. He wants to arrange his work schedule so that he is always home when I'm home. He thinks that will solve the problem. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I feel he's overbearing sometimes in his need to try and control the situation. Sometimes he drives me insane, how he's always trying to "fix" me. I don't think he gets that if I want to drink, I'm going to and there's very little he can do to stop me.
He keeps accusing me of not "wanting" to quit, as though that's such a horrible thing. I've been reading some of the passages from some of the other ladies and it doesn't appear as though any of us "want" to quit. It's a matter of needing to stop. I'd love to be able to drink what I want, when I want. But, the fact of the matter is, if I do that than I'm risking losing everything that I love. He says it hurts him that I'm choosing alcohol over my family. I don't ever recall making that type of choice, but I guess I can see how he can interpret it as such.
I'm so depressed right now. I feel terribly guilty and ashamed. Why do I keep hurting the people I love so much?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
it used to hurt me that my mom drank, i can remember thinking that she was choosing to drink even though it hurt me...but the fact is that it had stopped being a choice for her a long time ago...when you are addicted you have no choice...you only have your addiction...i forgave her for her drinking...but that brings up the question...do we want to live lives that our children have to forgive us for? if i could pop pills...my 'mother's little helpers' all day...i would, but i can't...if i do i will die young like my mother...and i will disappoint myself and my family...and i loved my mother, but i don't want to be like her...not in that way...i don't know, i guess i'm rambling...do y'all think we have a choice here??? maybe we do...the choice i see before me is if i live or if i die...and i want to live very badly...
ok...am i the only fatty here??? 135...110...125...give me a break, do you people eat???
ok...am i the only fatty here??? 135...110...125...give me a break, do you people eat???
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Middle Ga
Posts: 1,515
((Who)) You can't quit for anyone else but yourself. Do you want to stop? Maybe your husband should log on and go to the family and friends section to get an idea what you are dealing with. Maybe it will help him understand you are not conciously (sp) choosing alcohol over them.
If you want to do it you know we are here for you!! You're almost through day 1!!!!!
xoxo T
If you want to do it you know we are here for you!! You're almost through day 1!!!!!
xoxo T
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Middle Ga
Posts: 1,515
Ayla I was 130 when we moved to Ga. 7 yrs ago-- Now at 43 I'm close to 170...
My mom left us when I was 4. I took a good look at what my drinking was doing to my relationship with my kids. What good is it to be a mom who is here, but "not here" because she is drunk? I only have one chance at this mom, wife, life thing- I do know I could not be at day 23 without this support. There is no way I could do it alone!
I love my mommies ((( ))) & xoxo
My mom left us when I was 4. I took a good look at what my drinking was doing to my relationship with my kids. What good is it to be a mom who is here, but "not here" because she is drunk? I only have one chance at this mom, wife, life thing- I do know I could not be at day 23 without this support. There is no way I could do it alone!
I love my mommies ((( ))) & xoxo
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
((Beezy)), I'm sorry about your family stuff--that just sucks. Remember: FRIENDS ARE THE RELATIVES WE CHOOSE FOR OURSELVES. We are always here for you.
((WhoAmI)) I believe it's the rare alcoholic who gets permanently sober on the first try. Don't be too hard on yourself. If it helps any, I can relate w/you on the husband thing--mine's a wonderful guy, but seems to take a lot of my responsibility (to be sober) onto himself--a real "fix-it" guy. I appreciate that he wants to help and is so unselfish about it, but in this area I need some space. Well, I don't quite know what I need, but someone else "fixing" me certainly isn't it. I think my husband blames himself in some ways for my drinking issues--he thinks that since he's my husband, then it's obviously his fault. Though we've talked about it, I think there's still that part of him that thinks if he were "more perfect" for me, then I wouldn't be alcoholic. I sure do love him; it's just hard for someone who's not alcoholic to "get it". There's a book I'm thinking of that might be helpful for you & your hubby--"Beyond the Influence" by Katherine Ketcham. It's full of concrete facts about the biochemistry of alcoholism, backed up by sound scientific studies.
((Ayla)) I'll get to looking through our files to see if there are any pics of me (now that I think of it, I take most of the pics around here so they're probably all of the kids & dogs).
Time to get supper going. Yawn.
I probably won't be around here tomorrow--we have hubby's work Christmas party to attend up in the mountains. (alcohol free--woohoo!!) You know I'll be thinking of you all!
Love,
Jane
OH, Alissa--how's the puppy??
((WhoAmI)) I believe it's the rare alcoholic who gets permanently sober on the first try. Don't be too hard on yourself. If it helps any, I can relate w/you on the husband thing--mine's a wonderful guy, but seems to take a lot of my responsibility (to be sober) onto himself--a real "fix-it" guy. I appreciate that he wants to help and is so unselfish about it, but in this area I need some space. Well, I don't quite know what I need, but someone else "fixing" me certainly isn't it. I think my husband blames himself in some ways for my drinking issues--he thinks that since he's my husband, then it's obviously his fault. Though we've talked about it, I think there's still that part of him that thinks if he were "more perfect" for me, then I wouldn't be alcoholic. I sure do love him; it's just hard for someone who's not alcoholic to "get it". There's a book I'm thinking of that might be helpful for you & your hubby--"Beyond the Influence" by Katherine Ketcham. It's full of concrete facts about the biochemistry of alcoholism, backed up by sound scientific studies.
((Ayla)) I'll get to looking through our files to see if there are any pics of me (now that I think of it, I take most of the pics around here so they're probably all of the kids & dogs).
Time to get supper going. Yawn.
I probably won't be around here tomorrow--we have hubby's work Christmas party to attend up in the mountains. (alcohol free--woohoo!!) You know I'll be thinking of you all!
Love,
Jane
OH, Alissa--how's the puppy??
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
hey, jane...i know how you must feel...but i also know the feeling of wishing you could do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to help or change or 'fix' my mom...we just don't understand why we can't do anything to help until we are educated about addiction...and it was only when i let go of those things that i started to respect my mom and love her in spite of her problems...but it really was hard to accept the fact that i could not change her...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: here, there, everywhere
Posts: 2,112
sorry i can't be supportive today
still can't breathe, hurts chest and back, tight, wheezing...
maybe it'll pass and i'll be ok tomorrow
say a prayer, i usually end up intubated when it's this bad, and i can't afford that right now
hanging in there
still can't breathe, hurts chest and back, tight, wheezing...
maybe it'll pass and i'll be ok tomorrow
say a prayer, i usually end up intubated when it's this bad, and i can't afford that right now
hanging in there
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
misti--try a video, turn lights down and make popcorn. let them watch, you lay on floor in middle of them and try to rest. or put them all in the bathtub with lots of bubbles and sit there in the steam to help with your breathing.
ayla and tamtam--thank god for you guys. i'm feeling old and fluffy over here. i'm closer to you--i'd like to be 145 but am closer to 165. even at my most fit--working out daily--i never was below 120. don't get it...but i think i look okay for the most part. i also feel about 25 most of the time. (except after hauling tons of decorations up and down stairs while dealing with three attention-mongering angels).
tamtam--i think it was you re. another meeting a week. i try to make two per week. lots of weeks i can't. when i do, i'm a happier camper, more serene. when i'm stressed, i'll try to run out to a meeting no matter where and when it is... do what you think is best, but imho, if you can do it, do it. it certainly won't hurt and the meetings are all so different...
whoami--it took me about 10 years of thinking and gradually working myself into the realization that i was an alcoholic. dust yourself off. read all you can about it--try just reading the "under the influence" stickies etc. keep coming back. and be easy on yourself. you can do it!
smyle--you send those crazy relatives my way and i'll match them up with mine. we can have a craze-off! tee hee! hang in there. they are the ones with the problem.
you guys and your husbands sound so cute. my hubbie is gorgeous too--in an intellectual way (with glasses and buzzed hair). i still don't know how i got so lucky! but he is so practical if you looked it up in the dictionary, his face would be there. and i am sooooo not. in some ways we're similar but in many ways we are the two sides of the brain--each taking an opposite. i'm the creative, he's the rational.
hugs to all! we're watching polar express and i should we in there with the family and the fireplace. gotta catch these moments when you can!
love and huggies,
ayla and tamtam--thank god for you guys. i'm feeling old and fluffy over here. i'm closer to you--i'd like to be 145 but am closer to 165. even at my most fit--working out daily--i never was below 120. don't get it...but i think i look okay for the most part. i also feel about 25 most of the time. (except after hauling tons of decorations up and down stairs while dealing with three attention-mongering angels).
tamtam--i think it was you re. another meeting a week. i try to make two per week. lots of weeks i can't. when i do, i'm a happier camper, more serene. when i'm stressed, i'll try to run out to a meeting no matter where and when it is... do what you think is best, but imho, if you can do it, do it. it certainly won't hurt and the meetings are all so different...
whoami--it took me about 10 years of thinking and gradually working myself into the realization that i was an alcoholic. dust yourself off. read all you can about it--try just reading the "under the influence" stickies etc. keep coming back. and be easy on yourself. you can do it!
smyle--you send those crazy relatives my way and i'll match them up with mine. we can have a craze-off! tee hee! hang in there. they are the ones with the problem.
you guys and your husbands sound so cute. my hubbie is gorgeous too--in an intellectual way (with glasses and buzzed hair). i still don't know how i got so lucky! but he is so practical if you looked it up in the dictionary, his face would be there. and i am sooooo not. in some ways we're similar but in many ways we are the two sides of the brain--each taking an opposite. i'm the creative, he's the rational.
hugs to all! we're watching polar express and i should we in there with the family and the fireplace. gotta catch these moments when you can!
love and huggies,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 348
You all sound gorgeous to me and my sis Lise is definetely beautiful inside and out. I'd like to also brag that she is MY BEST FRIEND... I JUST LOVE HER SO.. WITHOUT EACH OTHER WE WOULD BE UP ***** CREEK.. WE HAVE BEEN THROUH HELL AND BACK TOGETHER..Glad she could join us.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 348
Tam,
Weekends are always tough eh!! Hang in there.. I feel like drinking on the weekends too..
Who Am I.. You have a disease, it is called alcoholism.. Your on the right track.. keep on going.. Don't give up..
Janeeyre.. Beautiful little pup you have..
Smyle, it sounds like you must of had your plate full with your family. I think you must be a very strong person to have survived in that environment. Hugs to you..
Weekends are always tough eh!! Hang in there.. I feel like drinking on the weekends too..
Who Am I.. You have a disease, it is called alcoholism.. Your on the right track.. keep on going.. Don't give up..
Janeeyre.. Beautiful little pup you have..
Smyle, it sounds like you must of had your plate full with your family. I think you must be a very strong person to have survived in that environment. Hugs to you..
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
