expenguin

Good morning everyone.......Glad everyone is doing something to stay busy......Banjo music is neat as my Grandfather used to play from what my mom said.....We still have his banjo ......

I am hanging in there with the allergies even though it is a pain in the you know what.........But for today I am doing fine and watching two elderly people next door and 3 cats a couple houses away...........Recovery going well as I keep up with as much as I can for now.....

It is about 9:30 am here and the fog is still hanging out.....makes you want to sleep the rest of the day..........Time for me to get some work done as I have lots of writing to do for my writing class where I learn to write for childrens books that I some day hope to get my own work published................Have a good day and see ya all later......................Little Penguin

chloe06

Its just after 4.30am here and I dont think I have slept at all, instead of my sleep improving over time it is getting worse. Only managed a couple of hours of really disturbed sleep for the last 4 nights..it is so hard not sleeping.

Chloe

Jersey Nonny

As we approach the anniversary of that dreadful day, may we never forget what "others" would destroy.

http://oldbluewebdesigns.com/mybeautifulamerica.htm

c'est la vie

oh Scotty....where are you?????

expenguin

I will remember in silence what has been destroyed and the many that gave their lives for us all...........A silent prayer is in need when the bells toll.................

Dreamz

Hey - thanks for the advice - but I'm not that bad and I've got a pretty good life, I don't really have anything to be sad about. I'm just a bit spacy. Its weird, I'm not bawling my eyes out and sometimes I don't even feel all that sad I just feel like nothing, like I'm not happy or sad, if this were a dream at any minute I could just vanish into thin air and nothing would change. Its the weirdest feeling, but honestly I'm sure I'll be right in a while. I must just be in a rough spot!!

Thanks, I really appreciate it. Its something about friends who live so far away but still care enough about you to want to hug you that blows me away. Its really nice to have all you guys!!!

And I've been wondering where Scotty is too!!!

(((Penguin))) I really hope the allergy thing gets better soon, clears up completely. Everyone seems to be sick at the moment. I hope we all get better - anyone who is sick at the moment I will pray for you so let me know when you start feeling healthy again!!! By the way - what kind of kids books are you writing? What an exciting thing to be doing right now!!! I would love to do a course like that


(((Max))) Awwww thank-you, thats sweet! PS I can't wait to hear the next poem!!!
OMG I just watched that video of those rubber band dancers - amazing. I love stuff like that.

Hi Hardheaded - you're right - free smiles!!! I have tried to live by the saying smile and the world smies with you - so I'm a bit of a smile spreader normally!!!


Hiya needtobesober, so the weather is rainy and cloudy but really hot? Is that what you're saying - I either hate days like that or love them depending on what mood I'm in!!!
I hope it gets better for you. Just keep hanging in there - you're doing so well so far, and maybe you could see a doctor or speak to someone who knows alot about the patterns of recovering and maybe they can tell you what to expect and how longs things like that should last!I hope things get better and like I said just keep hanging in there!!!

c'est la vie

I know that feeling. I'm so used to rollercoaster emotions that this flatness sometimes is freaking me out! lol
I think it must be part of getting sober. We just have to get used to seeing life as plain reality rather than as something so drastically terrible or incredibly fantastic.

Jersey Nonny

I think the drinking/drugging must have masked a lot of feelings that are coming to the surface (now that we're clean and sober.) Just remember to enjoy the good feelings while they last, and (with the negative feelings), "This, too, shall pass."

I watched a bit of the 9/11 commemoratives this morning, but it was just too sad. Or, I started to feel anger! I'm going to try to enjoy lunch while remembering all those who were taken way too soon on that day.

expenguin

Hi everyone......it is now 9:30am here and I saw a few things on 9/11 too many sad memories that day and my daughter was 1 1/2 yrs old then.....Also lost my dad 5 yrs ago and wish he were still here.....No he was not at the world trade center for all those that I know may just ask........
Dreamz.....I am still working on class writings that some day will get put into a book.......Lots of the things I am writing are about my growing up and others just made up. Some turn into mystery and don't look that way till I am done writing......Kinda fun and well worth the work.............Yes it is a cool class to take and is all done through the mail........Next assignment due mid November or sooner........was to be something on kids having fun during the summer..........I have it all staked out with a swim lesson and kids listening .....It may work and then I have to do a second part to it and that is the challenge..........Will see how it works..................
All going just fine today....and yes the allergy thing is still hanging around.......Hope to get it under control but taking care of someone elses cats doesn't help much.........But it is work and I enjoy the extra work and checking on the elderly people next door when the normal people that do it are gone ...............Talk to ya all later as I have lots of cleaning to do for now............Little Penguin

janeeyre

Hello everyone,

It's such a pretty day here, much like the same day five years ago.

This morning after I took my kiddos to school I was sitting in the car finishing my coffee before going inside to work in the library. Suddenly, quietly, all the kids (kindergarten thru 6th grade) came filing out of the building and silently gathered around the flagpole with their teachers. They then bowed their heads for a moment of silence--all you could hear was a single bird calling and the breeze rustling the flag a bit. Such a simple, quiet remembrance. Then the music teacher lifted her hands and in unison all the kids started singing "God Bless America." When they were done singing they slipped back inside, as silently as they'd come out. It was sweet.

Max, I watched that video and it did make me laugh--that last guy danced like a human lava lamp!

That makes a lot of sense, C'est.

ENTERPRISE TO SCOTTY.....COME IN, SCOTTY....

Dreamz

Hey guys, hope everyone is doing ok today. I guess there will be alot of Sept 11 rememberance things on today (its sept 12 here 11:30am)

I'm ok. I'm having a weird day today. I'm not happy but I'm not sad, I just don't care but its not a big deal - its like every single emotion there is, I'm 50/50 of all of it - so everything is completely balanced so I don't really know what I feel. I'm pretty tired, but I don't really want to go home to sleep, I feel like dreaming about something exciting, something I can do or plan. Like a holiday to Queensland so I can go to movieworld and go to the beach.

I love theme parks, Movieworld, Universal Studios and Disneyland are my favourites. Movieworl and Universal studios because its all about the magic of movies and disneyland because its like another world, in another time, no-one has to be an adult you can just play!


Work is kinda dull today. I just want to be somewhere different but I don't know where!!!

Arrrrrrrhh I'm in a dumb mood, I hate feeling like this - I'm bored I think and I'm never usually bored!!!

My posts must be getting so hard to read - hopefully today will be the good day I've been waiting for and I'll cheer up and be back to Happy dreamz again!!

PS Miss Communicat hasn't been here for a while I don't think - anyone heard from her?

c'est la vie

Jane you're too funny with the pic, but perfectly on spot. SCOTTY!!

Oh where oh where is that little miss C? Oh where oh where can she be? (I don't have musical notes to indicate a song, but I'm singing here)

Dreamz I sure hope your funk doesn't last much longer. Keep riding the wave telling yourself that it will be over soon.

chloe06

Queensland is cold and rainy and very windy at the moment!

miss communicat

HI!!!!!!!

what a warm feeling I have to know that if I am invisible (MIA) for any length of time, I will be missed. Its interesting...but i get more here at Sr in terms of connectedness and sharing somehow than I do at my regular face to face AA mtgs. I attend the same ones weekly, I share, I commit, I listen, we talk on the phone, but its all very loose and well, detached.

I realize that I "draw the circle" this way, and that I still hang onto my exit strategy by being less "known" in an AA meeting with people that I may encounter in my social or professional life. I am still fine tuning the concept of isolation vs healthy boundaries.

anyway, back to you all. I have been really focussed on the start up of another school year since part of what I do is operate a "school". Its actually more of a seminar center with continuing ed programs, but it is the busy time right now.

I still visit this site every day to read and connect buit I definitely have been on the sidelines.

Still cheering us all on!!!

Yay us! Go team go!

c'est la vie

yep, you're connected here and we're attached to you. It's OK if you don't post all the time. I wonder how long I'll keep posting. I feel like I need to loosen up on SR, but I can't just yet. It's too important to my sobriety.

Glad to see you Cloe. Does the crummy weather affect your mood?

janeeyre

Good morning all,

Hi Miss C! I hoped you'd post today
You put words to the way I feel about church--my family's been dinking around, half-heartedly looking for a church. It appeals to me to go somewhere big, where we could just be anonymous. I think I want an "exit strategy." This is probably part of why I hesitate about attending AA-type meetings, too. Hmmm. Something to ponder today.

Aww, Dreamz--don't worry about posting happy stuff--your posts are never hard to read! Maybe you're feeling a bit dull because of the emptiness left from your grandpa passing on. It's okay.

How are you feeling today, Chloe?

C'est, I am still chewing on what you said about "life as plain reality"--that really clicked with me. I was thinking about it while driving this morning and decided you are 100% correct (at least for me). Maybe we alkies/addicts are used to living in the extreme--it's an adjustment to just live calmly.

OK. Now my brain hurts. I need more coffee!

Take care, everyone--

Jane

janeeyre

I'm missing all you HATZers this afternoon! Where'd everybody go?

expenguin

I am here doing nothing......Although I did get the Physical T. guy to work with me today.......He couldn't keep up with me as I was moving faster than him.............Two of us curled his tail today and that was funny.........
I slept yesturday as I couldn't do much........Lack of energy for some reason..........Was that kind of day for 9-11.....

Today is a summer day as we haven't seen winter come in yet............Just as well since I like to take long walks.........Have fun and see ya all later I think........Little Penguin

miss communicat

Hi HATZ people,

I 'm baaack. I went for a long drive at sunset, went to the ocean to watch and veg out and think.

I realized that life is good for me right now, and wouldnt you know: I felt uncomfortable with that! Whats up with that? I mean, I started to feel a nagging guilt, like I should be doing more good things for the planet, or even make the coffee at an AA meeting...just started to walloow in this thinking that my being sooo happy is quite indulgent and self absorbed.

But, truth is: I am in a good place. When I feel this way, part of me wants to take action immediately and extend myself more, share my good fortune with others, but the other part just wants to savor the moment--alone.

And for now, the "alone" voice is winning out. I am craving more quiet in my life and less pressure to be something for everyone ( I know, I DO that to myself, nobody else does it)

This is partly to explain , at a deeper level, why I have not been here at SR as much lately as usual. Yes, work is busy, but there is more going on inside me in regards to how much energy I can put out that has nothing to do with my work schedule.

I've been torn between wanting to contribute more, and not wanting to get further involved.

I get tired sometimes from taking IN all the pain and struggles that I read about, and I feel so inadequate to help in any real way. I'm thinking that my life needs more balance, and more time spent offline and away from alcoholism stuff in general. The old saying, "Don't let the gifts of AA take you away from AA" is haunting me right now. I think to myself, "Why not? Isn't recovery all about living a good life? Why should I spend my good life focussed on AA all the time? I SHOULD get out there and live a happy and joyous life. Less time online will be a good thing."

I hasten to add: this isn't one of those "I'm leaving SR" letters. I'm still here for my buds (you reading this!!) but I am pausing for a general breather....feel free to PM me and I will be HAPPY to hear from & email you.

I just need a TIME OUT. (((((Sending hugs)))))

Dreamz