Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 9
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,339
SS, sounds wonderful!
For me, it has taken almost a full year after being out 26 months of stop and go, half A$$ed trying.
So glad you are feeling better and sleeping well. 45+ days is GREAT!
Many more on trip are Covid +. Awaiting our results. Most people are asymptomatic. That’s the scary part. This new strain is very mild, so it’s worse than telling someone with a symptomatic cold to go home. But, I get it, so much of the world has to sift through truths and world politics on their own with this pandemic.
So glad we have trip cancellation and trip interruption insurance.
For me, it has taken almost a full year after being out 26 months of stop and go, half A$$ed trying.
So glad you are feeling better and sleeping well. 45+ days is GREAT!
Many more on trip are Covid +. Awaiting our results. Most people are asymptomatic. That’s the scary part. This new strain is very mild, so it’s worse than telling someone with a symptomatic cold to go home. But, I get it, so much of the world has to sift through truths and world politics on their own with this pandemic.
So glad we have trip cancellation and trip interruption insurance.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Free, wow! How nerve wracking but glad you passed.
Viking, agree. Just cannot with the negative nellies. I saved this quote/page from FB recently about this chapter of my life being called “invite only” because it’s my turn to live a life that supports my highest good, etc. I was thinking it said something about surrounding ourselves with people who lift us up but that’s not exactly what it says. Still, that’s kind of how I am thinking about it. I don’t have to share my energy or power on someone else’s victimhood—and I can break out of my own. At least, that is what I feel in this moment. It comes and goes.
LHW, good on you for staying sober.
Sounds like I missed a lot—again! But nice to check in when I can and see how everyone is getting on. I’m doing okay over here in still-hot TX. I think I checked in about some of the stuff going on here, which is/was just some brutal times with the kids, finding out bad news about loan forgiveness (this one turned out to not be as bad as I thought), and most saliently right now, crap with the law firm I retained to try and help me but instead berated me for needing help. Similarly to above, I know I have choices. I’m not sure if I will continue with them (to save money) but I do know I am going to confront the attorney and tell her what the experience was like for me. I don’t have control over what she does with it, and I don’t have to know what I will ultimately choose as a course of action, but for my own dignity I want to tell her it was totally not okay. And that’s all I have to figure out for now.
Hope everyone has a lovely sober weekend ahead!
Viking, agree. Just cannot with the negative nellies. I saved this quote/page from FB recently about this chapter of my life being called “invite only” because it’s my turn to live a life that supports my highest good, etc. I was thinking it said something about surrounding ourselves with people who lift us up but that’s not exactly what it says. Still, that’s kind of how I am thinking about it. I don’t have to share my energy or power on someone else’s victimhood—and I can break out of my own. At least, that is what I feel in this moment. It comes and goes.
LHW, good on you for staying sober.
Sounds like I missed a lot—again! But nice to check in when I can and see how everyone is getting on. I’m doing okay over here in still-hot TX. I think I checked in about some of the stuff going on here, which is/was just some brutal times with the kids, finding out bad news about loan forgiveness (this one turned out to not be as bad as I thought), and most saliently right now, crap with the law firm I retained to try and help me but instead berated me for needing help. Similarly to above, I know I have choices. I’m not sure if I will continue with them (to save money) but I do know I am going to confront the attorney and tell her what the experience was like for me. I don’t have control over what she does with it, and I don’t have to know what I will ultimately choose as a course of action, but for my own dignity I want to tell her it was totally not okay. And that’s all I have to figure out for now.
Hope everyone has a lovely sober weekend ahead!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by SouthernSober 
Being sober and being in shape are sine qua nons for me. I don't want to ever return to the other side.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Hi NL, I saw that you were logged on here and figured that we were cross-posting. So glad to hear that things turned out better than expected with the loan forgiveness, and I hope that you get the same outcome with the law firm. Your perspective sounds spot-on to me and you absolutely should convey your experiences with the attorney. I really admire everything that you have done, and are doing, to manage your major life transition. Never would have been possible without sobriety, right?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Hey LHW, thanks for the shout out to my beloved KC Chiefs! As Bodhi mentioned, football season really does seem to bring people together for a common cause, even if that cause is kind of silly in the whole scope of things. Sometimes I have to shake my head at people that go a little 'over the top' in their fanhood (I have some in my family), but it's mostly just good fun. We have a very passionate fan base around here and the city really rallies around the team. Win or lose. I imagine that Philly is the same way.
Good to catch up with everyone. The weekdays have been crazy, but I have a little time to breathe on the weekends. Welcome back to the real world James.
Good to catch up with everyone. The weekdays have been crazy, but I have a little time to breathe on the weekends. Welcome back to the real world James.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Free, I’m glad to hear your able to continue your travel adventure!
SS, sounds like you got a good gym session in and are getting back into a groove. When I drank back in December it set me way back. Once I had that first drink which truthfully started with just a sip of my husbands drink and then my husbands boss sent a bottle of champagne to our room as a congrats gift and I popped that open and felt like well
I’m already drinking I might as well keep going I’ve already broken my promise to myself, screw it. A big case of the F*** its. Being back in that trap cycle was awful. The worst part of it though came
afterwards with the depression, the shame, and the craving to still want to drink (ughhh). I call it the emotional hangover. It took me a long time to shake that off and get to a decent head space. I hope I never forget that feeling and how easy it is to slip back into the trap and get back out. People don’t ask me much why I don’t drink anymore but if they do I just say I can’t stand the hangover but what I’m really referring to is the emotional hangover I described above that lasts weeks even months.
SS, sounds like you got a good gym session in and are getting back into a groove. When I drank back in December it set me way back. Once I had that first drink which truthfully started with just a sip of my husbands drink and then my husbands boss sent a bottle of champagne to our room as a congrats gift and I popped that open and felt like well
I’m already drinking I might as well keep going I’ve already broken my promise to myself, screw it. A big case of the F*** its. Being back in that trap cycle was awful. The worst part of it though came
afterwards with the depression, the shame, and the craving to still want to drink (ughhh). I call it the emotional hangover. It took me a long time to shake that off and get to a decent head space. I hope I never forget that feeling and how easy it is to slip back into the trap and get back out. People don’t ask me much why I don’t drink anymore but if they do I just say I can’t stand the hangover but what I’m really referring to is the emotional hangover I described above that lasts weeks even months.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,339
Amen!
So appreciate the understanding and open arms here.
Going to airport in Siem Reap in 15 minutes.
Will post more on plane if we get wifi.
Go MaHomes. (Chief qback)
So appreciate the understanding and open arms here.
Going to airport in Siem Reap in 15 minutes.
Will post more on plane if we get wifi.
Go MaHomes. (Chief qback)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
"When I drank back in December it set me way back. Once I had that first drink which truthfully started with just a sip of my husbands drink and then my husbands boss sent a bottle of champagne to our room as a congrats gift and I popped that open and felt like well
I’m already drinking I might as well keep going I’ve already broken my promise to myself, screw it. A big case of the F*** its. Being back in that trap cycle was awful. The worst part of it though came
afterwards with the depression, the shame, and the craving to still want to drink (ughhh). I call it the emotional hangover. It took me a long time to shake that off and get to a decent head space. I hope I never forget that feeling and how easy it is to slip back into the trap and get back out. People don’t ask me much why I don’t drink anymore but if they do I just say I can’t stand the hangover but what I’m really referring to is the emotional hangover I described above that lasts weeks even months."
Almost verbatim my recent experience. I say this over and over not only because it's true, but also because I'm surprised no one says it: I got to the point where it wasn't the problems I had while drinking--it was the problems I was having when I wasn't drinking. Which, of course, led to more drinking. And guess what? The more I drank, the more I wanted my sober life back. Insidious.
I’m already drinking I might as well keep going I’ve already broken my promise to myself, screw it. A big case of the F*** its. Being back in that trap cycle was awful. The worst part of it though came
afterwards with the depression, the shame, and the craving to still want to drink (ughhh). I call it the emotional hangover. It took me a long time to shake that off and get to a decent head space. I hope I never forget that feeling and how easy it is to slip back into the trap and get back out. People don’t ask me much why I don’t drink anymore but if they do I just say I can’t stand the hangover but what I’m really referring to is the emotional hangover I described above that lasts weeks even months."
Almost verbatim my recent experience. I say this over and over not only because it's true, but also because I'm surprised no one says it: I got to the point where it wasn't the problems I had while drinking--it was the problems I was having when I wasn't drinking. Which, of course, led to more drinking. And guess what? The more I drank, the more I wanted my sober life back. Insidious.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
The pics are breathtaking, Free. Thanks so much for sharing them with us. From India, I will have some aloo gobi and paratha, please. There is a dearth of Indian cuisine around me and it is by far my favorite.
Good posts this week, everyone sounds good- that's comforting.
I'm in a weird space. I don't think it has to do directly with drinking at all- no desire or thought of that. But I am realizing that I spent a LOT of time quitting last year- and I let myself be ok with that- as long as I wasn't drinking, I was succeeding. I am not at that point any longer- and I'm kind of spinning with what to do with myself. I don't want to work MORE, I am not in a position to return to school or change careers, don't tell me to volunteer somewhere- I give so much of myself at work there isn't much left to donate, and I don't have the luxury of spending much cash on myself- single lady with full financial responsibilities usually shouldered by a couple leaves me with a pretty tight budget. I'm sure this is a "where there is a will, there is a way" moment, but I am feeling a wee bit defeated and lost right now. Also, I tried so hard to be a more open and honest person to make new connections and that went sideways. So that is kind of a blow also, but I am glad it happened because it proved one thing- I no longer consider drinking a solution or answer to any question. Not boredom, disappointment, fatigue, frustration, or the learning of life lessons. On the other end, when I'm up, which I'm glad to report is most days (Sunday has ALWAYS been the hardest day for me- drinking or not) drinking is not a response to glee, celebration, accomplishments or contentment. I know this is all progress, and this question of "What now?" is not a question for you all necessarily, but you all make me feel better and think more and just putting it out there helps. I appreciate you.
Have a good day.
Good posts this week, everyone sounds good- that's comforting.
I'm in a weird space. I don't think it has to do directly with drinking at all- no desire or thought of that. But I am realizing that I spent a LOT of time quitting last year- and I let myself be ok with that- as long as I wasn't drinking, I was succeeding. I am not at that point any longer- and I'm kind of spinning with what to do with myself. I don't want to work MORE, I am not in a position to return to school or change careers, don't tell me to volunteer somewhere- I give so much of myself at work there isn't much left to donate, and I don't have the luxury of spending much cash on myself- single lady with full financial responsibilities usually shouldered by a couple leaves me with a pretty tight budget. I'm sure this is a "where there is a will, there is a way" moment, but I am feeling a wee bit defeated and lost right now. Also, I tried so hard to be a more open and honest person to make new connections and that went sideways. So that is kind of a blow also, but I am glad it happened because it proved one thing- I no longer consider drinking a solution or answer to any question. Not boredom, disappointment, fatigue, frustration, or the learning of life lessons. On the other end, when I'm up, which I'm glad to report is most days (Sunday has ALWAYS been the hardest day for me- drinking or not) drinking is not a response to glee, celebration, accomplishments or contentment. I know this is all progress, and this question of "What now?" is not a question for you all necessarily, but you all make me feel better and think more and just putting it out there helps. I appreciate you.
Have a good day.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,339
LHW, Tonight Sunday night here 9:18 pm. Doing sunrise early tomorrow morning.
Viking, I started posting in the “overs”, all members over 1 year sober. I bet they can help with the second year ‘what nows’. Maybe worth a drop in?
Viking, I started posting in the “overs”, all members over 1 year sober. I bet they can help with the second year ‘what nows’. Maybe worth a drop in?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,831
It was a full moon this week and I am feeling kinda the same way as you Viking. Wonder if that has anything to do with it? (I used to swear I could predict the full moon by how my clients acted. LOL.)
Warning.....get ready for a long rant about anything and everything.
I find trying to quit drinking absolutely exhausting. I am so tired of reading "quit lit" books that I put them all away for now. Downloaded a few mystery novels to try to get into. Mr. LHW and I used to play cards sometimes in the evening but he even said he just doesn't feel like that either. We are tired of watching TV too. Just an overall restless feeling.
We just went grocery shopping and two times were nearly t-boned on the road by drivers not paying attention and speeding. Why is everyone in such a big hurry and where are they rushing to? Then we got into the store and for the first time in a long, long time, the store was so crowded the lines extended all the way back to the other end of the store. We left as we didn't need that much and will go back another time.
Is anyone here on Facebook? I am really sick of seeing everyone posting about their perfect lives. Everything is perfect. Perfect family, perfect friends, perfect job, perfect this and that. And then they say they are "so blessed to have it all". Does that mean the rest of us are not blessed in any way? And then on the flip side....posting pictures of the x-ray of their broken toe, along with pictures of the black and blue toe, then the toe being put in a splint. And all the comments then wanting to know how the toe was broken. Did she trip, fall, bang into the door, what? Did she ice it or put heat on it? Good thing if found the "unfollow" button. Geez.
I know I have ranted and raved here and on other recovery sites about many things and if anyone reacted the same way to it all that I just did, I owe everyone a big apology!!!!!!!! Mr. LHW thinks my mood has a lot to do with the fact I can't see clearly...literally! My vision is extremely blurry beyond 3 feet. Shall I upload a picture of my eye? Just trying to be funny......Sigh......
Maybe I'll snap out of this later on when the Chiefs play.....
LHW
Warning.....get ready for a long rant about anything and everything.
I find trying to quit drinking absolutely exhausting. I am so tired of reading "quit lit" books that I put them all away for now. Downloaded a few mystery novels to try to get into. Mr. LHW and I used to play cards sometimes in the evening but he even said he just doesn't feel like that either. We are tired of watching TV too. Just an overall restless feeling.
We just went grocery shopping and two times were nearly t-boned on the road by drivers not paying attention and speeding. Why is everyone in such a big hurry and where are they rushing to? Then we got into the store and for the first time in a long, long time, the store was so crowded the lines extended all the way back to the other end of the store. We left as we didn't need that much and will go back another time.
Is anyone here on Facebook? I am really sick of seeing everyone posting about their perfect lives. Everything is perfect. Perfect family, perfect friends, perfect job, perfect this and that. And then they say they are "so blessed to have it all". Does that mean the rest of us are not blessed in any way? And then on the flip side....posting pictures of the x-ray of their broken toe, along with pictures of the black and blue toe, then the toe being put in a splint. And all the comments then wanting to know how the toe was broken. Did she trip, fall, bang into the door, what? Did she ice it or put heat on it? Good thing if found the "unfollow" button. Geez.
I know I have ranted and raved here and on other recovery sites about many things and if anyone reacted the same way to it all that I just did, I owe everyone a big apology!!!!!!!! Mr. LHW thinks my mood has a lot to do with the fact I can't see clearly...literally! My vision is extremely blurry beyond 3 feet. Shall I upload a picture of my eye? Just trying to be funny......Sigh......
Maybe I'll snap out of this later on when the Chiefs play.....
LHW
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
Viking's post really hits home. Can't really describe it, but I know the feeling.
What really changed my life (I sure hope permanently) in the last year? Not drinking, obviously. But what did this not drinking really enable me to do?
Answers to that are endless. But the #1 thing--and the most major discovery, the most painstaking progress, the most enduring and satisfying results, the biggest triumph--was soldiering on and maintaining my focus and drive no matter what happened and letting "one day at a time" pile up.
I can't begin to tell you how frustrating it is to go to the gym fifty--50!--times in one month, 45-180 minutes, eat clean, do everything right...and not only not lose any weight, but do a body scan on the 1st afterwards and not show any results. That was March. But 6 months later? Best shape of my life, and that's at 5'10", 220.
Anybody can stay sober today, and anybody can go work out hard. Question is: can you do it long term, no matter the headwinds in your face? "Sometimes it's worth it/Sometimes you wonder, 'What for?'" (Bruce Hornsby) I'm not talking about being sore and tired and crappy weather outside and still going to the gym. I'm talking about the ability to live in the now, but understanding the now is just that, now, and have faith things will get better--just do the next right thing.
"Whatever the question, not drinking is the answer" summed up someone a long time ago on WQD. Sure; it's a sine qua non. But that's not drinking. Living sober? More like "Whatever the question, not giving up is the answer."
Last night had a mini-AV moment. "Oh, crap, another Saturday night, home alone." Old me: down to the pub. New me? "I'm gonna do my linens tonight so I don't have to do them tomorrow, and then I can go to the pool before the ballgame." And you know, I woke up sober and in lavender-infused Egyptian cotton, and now I'm posting this instead of doing laundry.
I don't know if any of this helps. I just know I was flat on my back 45 days ago when my resolve faltered, but after being sober for 12 out of 12.5 months, people express amazement seeing me. "What have you been doing?" I just chuckle. They really have no idea.
What really changed my life (I sure hope permanently) in the last year? Not drinking, obviously. But what did this not drinking really enable me to do?
Answers to that are endless. But the #1 thing--and the most major discovery, the most painstaking progress, the most enduring and satisfying results, the biggest triumph--was soldiering on and maintaining my focus and drive no matter what happened and letting "one day at a time" pile up.
I can't begin to tell you how frustrating it is to go to the gym fifty--50!--times in one month, 45-180 minutes, eat clean, do everything right...and not only not lose any weight, but do a body scan on the 1st afterwards and not show any results. That was March. But 6 months later? Best shape of my life, and that's at 5'10", 220.
Anybody can stay sober today, and anybody can go work out hard. Question is: can you do it long term, no matter the headwinds in your face? "Sometimes it's worth it/Sometimes you wonder, 'What for?'" (Bruce Hornsby) I'm not talking about being sore and tired and crappy weather outside and still going to the gym. I'm talking about the ability to live in the now, but understanding the now is just that, now, and have faith things will get better--just do the next right thing.
"Whatever the question, not drinking is the answer" summed up someone a long time ago on WQD. Sure; it's a sine qua non. But that's not drinking. Living sober? More like "Whatever the question, not giving up is the answer."
Last night had a mini-AV moment. "Oh, crap, another Saturday night, home alone." Old me: down to the pub. New me? "I'm gonna do my linens tonight so I don't have to do them tomorrow, and then I can go to the pool before the ballgame." And you know, I woke up sober and in lavender-infused Egyptian cotton, and now I'm posting this instead of doing laundry.
I don't know if any of this helps. I just know I was flat on my back 45 days ago when my resolve faltered, but after being sober for 12 out of 12.5 months, people express amazement seeing me. "What have you been doing?" I just chuckle. They really have no idea.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
I guess I don't understand the what to do with yourself question, dear Viking. 
You have your career, home, gorgeous dog, a slew of hobbies, and some good friends.
I wanted to be free to live my life. I have so many things I do and so many more that I want to do. ❤️
You have your career, home, gorgeous dog, a slew of hobbies, and some good friends.
I wanted to be free to live my life. I have so many things I do and so many more that I want to do. ❤️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Just returned from "Pagan Pride Fest" as my outing this afternoon- let's just say, oh my. It was super fun- I was with a good friend and she likes to say we can have fun in a paper bag.
Venus- you may be right. I'm overthinking. I guess I have spent so much time hiding, sublimating, and not participating that maybe now I feel like I have to do all the things. Maybe it's time to settle down, Beavis. SS, you make a good point too, making decisions now vs then is a whole new ballgame- being rational (I hope at least most of the time) and moving forward one day/step at a time should be plenty for me at this point. Free, I am going to go post in the 'over' thread- thanks.
LHW- You sound like me back in the early days- yes, it can be a slog- but it does improve- but the shift happens when you actually embrace the journey rather than feel it's a chore. Hard to put a finger on it- but that is the only way I can describe what happened to me. As for social media? It's a crap shoot! I also enjoy the block button.
Tonight, I am off to a sunset cruise in the bay- but it does not seem the sun is joining me. It's ok, though, it will be a nice harbor tour on a paddleboat. Any time on the water is a win.
Thanks everyone- I'll take a pic of the "sunset" for you later.
Venus- you may be right. I'm overthinking. I guess I have spent so much time hiding, sublimating, and not participating that maybe now I feel like I have to do all the things. Maybe it's time to settle down, Beavis. SS, you make a good point too, making decisions now vs then is a whole new ballgame- being rational (I hope at least most of the time) and moving forward one day/step at a time should be plenty for me at this point. Free, I am going to go post in the 'over' thread- thanks.
LHW- You sound like me back in the early days- yes, it can be a slog- but it does improve- but the shift happens when you actually embrace the journey rather than feel it's a chore. Hard to put a finger on it- but that is the only way I can describe what happened to me. As for social media? It's a crap shoot! I also enjoy the block button.
Tonight, I am off to a sunset cruise in the bay- but it does not seem the sun is joining me. It's ok, though, it will be a nice harbor tour on a paddleboat. Any time on the water is a win.
Thanks everyone- I'll take a pic of the "sunset" for you later.
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