Class of July 2013 Part 63
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,698
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I am seeing through changes in life. Roxy is a catalyst. Time to shake up recovery tools..where growth comes outside ones comfort zone. Pre Roxy I was doing enough to be independent but there has been little growth...which doesn't help depression /anxiety. Which is a catch 22.
I am seeing through changes in life. Roxy is a catalyst. Time to shake up recovery tools..where growth comes outside ones comfort zone. Pre Roxy I was doing enough to be independent but there has been little growth...which doesn't help depression /anxiety. Which is a catch 22.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hello everyone,
CW, thank you so much. I want to reply more fully to your kind and helpful post, but I'm stuck and can't even formulate coherent thoughts right now. Please know that I appreciate you taking the time.
Thank you everyone.
CW, thank you so much. I want to reply more fully to your kind and helpful post, but I'm stuck and can't even formulate coherent thoughts right now. Please know that I appreciate you taking the time.
Thank you everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Free
Posts: 902
Oh no Leshar! I definitely don’t post with expectations.xx
Maybe I did once upon a time, when I didn’t have my attitude right, but not any more.
Mags, thanks for sharing re the people out and about having a drink. I do think we are all individuals and you nailed it, what stirs a memory for me, might be different for you.
On the flip side, I have gratitude when I wake up fresh and clear-headed (mostly, aging is kicking in now, haha).
Maybe I did once upon a time, when I didn’t have my attitude right, but not any more.
Mags, thanks for sharing re the people out and about having a drink. I do think we are all individuals and you nailed it, what stirs a memory for me, might be different for you.
On the flip side, I have gratitude when I wake up fresh and clear-headed (mostly, aging is kicking in now, haha).
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Hi gang. Been still dealing with sciatic nerve pain. Probably the worse pain I've ever had in my life. The first signs of pain happened on July 30. Just before the Independence holiday. I spent the night in an ER the next day. Two days I went with my knee pulled to my chest to stop the pain. It took all of my vacation to recover.😑 Thank goodness at nearly 5 weeks I'm doing better. So keep me in your prayers for a complete recovery. Thanks
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,698
I have been off the grid. A fav auntie died Sunday...it was on the cards, she was hospitlaised recently for a bad fall and caught COVID. Whilst her death is sad and I grieve for her, my little voice of bad tidings kicked in. My aunties family, warts and all are rallying, which is great. On my day of being revived/placed in an induced cma, my family were nowhere to be seen. I felt such a feeling of sadness anf loss. A culmination of everything I have fought or worked through, memories,etc. This is not, I think self pity. It just is.
and what Dee says. 
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,706
Bob, hope the foot slap goes. Have the docs given you exercises to continue with. Mr. Mags had sciatica a while back, not half as bad as yours, but very painful though and he was given exercises to do. I can’t remember them but I think they were mainly stretches.
PJ, sorry it’s no contact with your sons. Hopefully you’re still texting/emailing each other now and again. Things may change with time. Keep your recovery strong my friend.
I grew up with an alcoholic father. He was lovely when sober but we didn’t see that side much. He was either at work or going to the pub. I despised his drunken side which ended up me despising him full stop. In his later years he didn’t drink so much. I wasn’t so angsty with him, maybe because I’d found alcohol as my friend, or so I blindly thought. Though I did become friends with him in his later years.
Anyway other day as I’m sorting through boxes from the attic (did I say we’re moving homes in a few weeks, hopefully) and came across some old photos. One was of my dad, sober and smiling in the garden and with his unruly curly hair. My heart lifted. That’s how I want to remember my dad. (He died 13 years ago) he was a good man sober.
It’s took years for me to understand my dad and when I actually became an alcoholic and then got sober, I now understand him more. And I can forget the bad times. I’m getting the photo enlarged and going to frame it to hang up in my new house. That’s who my dad really was….the alcohol took him away most of the time but I know he had a good heart underneath.
I think the only people who truly know what an addict /alcoholic goes through are people who have experienced themselves and come out the other side. Hence that’s why I love SR so much. You’re all here like myself, supporting each other and adding bits of our lives in too.
Love and hugs to all my Classmates xxxx
PJ, sorry it’s no contact with your sons. Hopefully you’re still texting/emailing each other now and again. Things may change with time. Keep your recovery strong my friend.
I grew up with an alcoholic father. He was lovely when sober but we didn’t see that side much. He was either at work or going to the pub. I despised his drunken side which ended up me despising him full stop. In his later years he didn’t drink so much. I wasn’t so angsty with him, maybe because I’d found alcohol as my friend, or so I blindly thought. Though I did become friends with him in his later years.
Anyway other day as I’m sorting through boxes from the attic (did I say we’re moving homes in a few weeks, hopefully) and came across some old photos. One was of my dad, sober and smiling in the garden and with his unruly curly hair. My heart lifted. That’s how I want to remember my dad. (He died 13 years ago) he was a good man sober.
It’s took years for me to understand my dad and when I actually became an alcoholic and then got sober, I now understand him more. And I can forget the bad times. I’m getting the photo enlarged and going to frame it to hang up in my new house. That’s who my dad really was….the alcohol took him away most of the time but I know he had a good heart underneath.
I think the only people who truly know what an addict /alcoholic goes through are people who have experienced themselves and come out the other side. Hence that’s why I love SR so much. You’re all here like myself, supporting each other and adding bits of our lives in too.
Love and hugs to all my Classmates xxxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Free
Posts: 902
Oh Mags and PJ. By the time I read both your posts I was bawling my eyes out.
Mags, I very much relate to your description of your Dad to my Mum. Before alcoholism took her, she was a beautiful person. People were drawn to her, and me, being very shy as a child, remember we couldn’t even go to the shops without people chatting ages to Mum. She was young and beautiful. Dark (like Cher), and I was a little blondie (like Cher’s child Chastity/Chaz)…she was angelic, kind, and beautiful to everyone. (This is not me putting her on a pedestal, it’s the comments I still receive from people she touched). The saddest thing is her pain and that Doctors gave her Valium, and sleeping pills and when I was 12, she began drinking after my father and her split which led to her fast decline. Within 2 years she was not even a shadow of herself, she was a stranger to me. And like you, it’s really only through my own struggles and her death, that I could appreciate and love her again.
PJ, all I can say is I can relate to what you say. In my case, I feel cut off from 2 of my kids unfairly. The relationships are tenuous. I spoke up and told my daughter I worry for her (alcohol abuse), and got shot down. I feel like it’s always eggshells. I don’t mention her alcohol abuse but I feel like she passive aggressively expressed her frustration with herself at me.
Long story short, I’m kind of giving up on relationships with my kids and family. I feel very lonely and isolated, no matter when I reach out. My son has anger issues and that feels like eggshells too. I feel like he wants me to over mother him. Like I still should be interested in going to watch him play sports etc. it’s too much.
I want adult relationships with my children, but after 7-9 years of recovery, I’m kind of giving up. My rock is my best friend who really puts it well that our kids are just caught up in their lives and I guess it’s their business to reflect on lost opportunities at a later date when we are gone. We can only try. But accepting the line of what I can change and what I can’t is a daily mantra.
just sharing my path here, and thank you for sharing yours, PJ and Mags xx
Mags, I very much relate to your description of your Dad to my Mum. Before alcoholism took her, she was a beautiful person. People were drawn to her, and me, being very shy as a child, remember we couldn’t even go to the shops without people chatting ages to Mum. She was young and beautiful. Dark (like Cher), and I was a little blondie (like Cher’s child Chastity/Chaz)…she was angelic, kind, and beautiful to everyone. (This is not me putting her on a pedestal, it’s the comments I still receive from people she touched). The saddest thing is her pain and that Doctors gave her Valium, and sleeping pills and when I was 12, she began drinking after my father and her split which led to her fast decline. Within 2 years she was not even a shadow of herself, she was a stranger to me. And like you, it’s really only through my own struggles and her death, that I could appreciate and love her again.
PJ, all I can say is I can relate to what you say. In my case, I feel cut off from 2 of my kids unfairly. The relationships are tenuous. I spoke up and told my daughter I worry for her (alcohol abuse), and got shot down. I feel like it’s always eggshells. I don’t mention her alcohol abuse but I feel like she passive aggressively expressed her frustration with herself at me.
Long story short, I’m kind of giving up on relationships with my kids and family. I feel very lonely and isolated, no matter when I reach out. My son has anger issues and that feels like eggshells too. I feel like he wants me to over mother him. Like I still should be interested in going to watch him play sports etc. it’s too much.
I want adult relationships with my children, but after 7-9 years of recovery, I’m kind of giving up. My rock is my best friend who really puts it well that our kids are just caught up in their lives and I guess it’s their business to reflect on lost opportunities at a later date when we are gone. We can only try. But accepting the line of what I can change and what I can’t is a daily mantra.
just sharing my path here, and thank you for sharing yours, PJ and Mags xx
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,706
Hits Julyer friends
CW, I feel your pain love. Funnily my mum was dark haired and I was a blondie too(with a ginger(strawberry
) tint). (Like my grandad methinks )
It is sad how alcohol takes hold and the denial that follows. Going off on a completely different tack here, I remember when George Best (footballer) was going to have a liver transplant. He was an alcoholic but had had to get sober for so long before it, professing he wouldn’t drink again.
After the transplant he said he had a new lease of life but his eyes told me he was going to drink again.I recognised the lies, after all I recognised a fellow ‘drinker’. He wasn’t going to be sober long. Sadly he met his demise a while later.
Sending love to all Classmates xxxx
CW, I feel your pain love. Funnily my mum was dark haired and I was a blondie too(with a ginger(strawberry
) tint). (Like my grandad methinks )It is sad how alcohol takes hold and the denial that follows. Going off on a completely different tack here, I remember when George Best (footballer) was going to have a liver transplant. He was an alcoholic but had had to get sober for so long before it, professing he wouldn’t drink again.
After the transplant he said he had a new lease of life but his eyes told me he was going to drink again.I recognised the lies, after all I recognised a fellow ‘drinker’. He wasn’t going to be sober long. Sadly he met his demise a while later.
Sending love to all Classmates xxxx
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