Class of January 2020 Part 12
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
Had a drinking dream last night.
Pretty sure it was a follow up to a visit from my AV the day before.
It was a quick but real thought about just getting the hell away from a situation. I didn't really want to drink but I guess all those years of using that as a go to it was the 1st place my mind went. Just one good drunk to wash it all away. But it doesn't. I know that and it went quick but it was the 1st time in a very long time I thought that way.
Anyway in my dream I acted on that impulse. Almost immediately felt sick and angry at myself and stopped after 2 beers or so then woke up thinking WTF?.
I 100% know where all this is coming from but figuring a way out has been difficult. Very difficult. Not even sure there is a way out.
No chance of a drink but I see how one could let something like this spiral out of control.
Thankfully my days of drinking stuff away are gone and I can focus on how to handle things somewhat rationally.
This place is to blame for that. No way I can go back now with the knowledge I have gained here.
Thanks
Pretty sure it was a follow up to a visit from my AV the day before.
It was a quick but real thought about just getting the hell away from a situation. I didn't really want to drink but I guess all those years of using that as a go to it was the 1st place my mind went. Just one good drunk to wash it all away. But it doesn't. I know that and it went quick but it was the 1st time in a very long time I thought that way.
Anyway in my dream I acted on that impulse. Almost immediately felt sick and angry at myself and stopped after 2 beers or so then woke up thinking WTF?.
I 100% know where all this is coming from but figuring a way out has been difficult. Very difficult. Not even sure there is a way out.
No chance of a drink but I see how one could let something like this spiral out of control.
Thankfully my days of drinking stuff away are gone and I can focus on how to handle things somewhat rationally.
This place is to blame for that. No way I can go back now with the knowledge I have gained here.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
No way I could go back either. Just couldn't do it.
I hope you can get it worked out more toward the positive.
My kid and I are fighting now. He gets a lot of free pass on the teenager attitude thing because I figure that powers to be are getting me back for the way I behaved as a teenager, but you have to keep some type of limits in place. Praying for guidance.
I hope you can get it worked out more toward the positive.
My kid and I are fighting now. He gets a lot of free pass on the teenager attitude thing because I figure that powers to be are getting me back for the way I behaved as a teenager, but you have to keep some type of limits in place. Praying for guidance.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
My parents used to say I hope your kid is just like you. Thankfully she was not even close.
There were some things she did that I believe a lot or most parents would have freaked out about but compared to the **** I did I was like, meh, she'll learn. She did.
Not to say there were not consequences for those actions but from where I stood it could have been much worse.
They say teenage years are tough but I got a 3 year old here that will give them a run for their money! LOL
There were some things she did that I believe a lot or most parents would have freaked out about but compared to the **** I did I was like, meh, she'll learn. She did.
Not to say there were not consequences for those actions but from where I stood it could have been much worse.
They say teenage years are tough but I got a 3 year old here that will give them a run for their money! LOL
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving FishK, and anyone else who may check in.
Are you doing another spatchcock Turkey? I'm not signed on to fry a Turkey or anything this time. There will be a plan in place by the time I get there in case the inlaws start talking about politics. Probably go outside and read at the first sign. May do that anyway.
Abraxas, hope you have a nice non Thanksgiving weekend.
Are you doing another spatchcock Turkey? I'm not signed on to fry a Turkey or anything this time. There will be a plan in place by the time I get there in case the inlaws start talking about politics. Probably go outside and read at the first sign. May do that anyway.
Abraxas, hope you have a nice non Thanksgiving weekend.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I had a drinking dream recently too Fish, a bit similar to yours. In my dream I was at some old familiar haunt (which in real life I don’t recognise at all) and I had a couple of drinks and then got really mad and disgusted at myself. I woke up feeling all out of sorts, but relieved that it wasn’t real. After more than 6 months dry, I so don’t want to go back there!
Cityboy I hope things settle with your teen soon, they’re turbulent years for sure
We don’t celebrate thanksgiving, but it’s a good reminder to be thankful and practice gratitude for all the good things in our lives ❤️
Cityboy I hope things settle with your teen soon, they’re turbulent years for sure
We don’t celebrate thanksgiving, but it’s a good reminder to be thankful and practice gratitude for all the good things in our lives ❤️
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Those dreams can be so disturbing. I'm at my friend's family farm house this weekend. It's where I put tobacco down about 15 years ago. Had a dream last night that I was using tobacco again. 
Hope it is going well with your camp.
The 18 year old is struggling to sort things out. I'm 38 years older and I am too I suppose. One day I'm his worst enemy and the next day I'm his hero.
Hope it is going well with your camp.
The 18 year old is struggling to sort things out. I'm 38 years older and I am too I suppose. One day I'm his worst enemy and the next day I'm his hero.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
The camp is great thanks Cityboy, haven’t been out there as much recently because of the rain, but we’ll get there again once things dry out a bit 
The teen years are tricky for sure.He will be torn in different directions inside and be confused about his own feelings. I think they often lash out at those they care about, and don’t know how to deal with their own emotions. A bit like us oldies, but with less self control I think. It will even out with time
The teen years are tricky for sure.He will be torn in different directions inside and be confused about his own feelings. I think they often lash out at those they care about, and don’t know how to deal with their own emotions. A bit like us oldies, but with less self control I think. It will even out with time
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
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Hey willow!
Drinking dreams suck. All there is to say about that.
Lots of reflection going on here lately. Much needed.
Stress level has dropped a bit so I can focus on how best to handle it next time.
I am finding that a lot of times it is my actions that cause it and sometimes my reactions that cause it. Sometimes it is just life but our reactions can dictate how hard or easy a particular situation can become.
The strange part to me is it is harder to do the right thing even when it makes life easier. Even when we know we should react a certain way and it will make life easier our, my, default is still the other way.
I can handle it properly one day but the next is a struggle even though I Know how I Should react to make it easier.
Even the days I eventually get it right my initial response, in my head, is the wrong one.
I will get there.
We have identified the problem, me, so know we can identify the solution.
More Work
Happy Monday all
Drinking dreams suck. All there is to say about that.
Lots of reflection going on here lately. Much needed.
Stress level has dropped a bit so I can focus on how best to handle it next time.
I am finding that a lot of times it is my actions that cause it and sometimes my reactions that cause it. Sometimes it is just life but our reactions can dictate how hard or easy a particular situation can become.
The strange part to me is it is harder to do the right thing even when it makes life easier. Even when we know we should react a certain way and it will make life easier our, my, default is still the other way.
I can handle it properly one day but the next is a struggle even though I Know how I Should react to make it easier.
Even the days I eventually get it right my initial response, in my head, is the wrong one.
I will get there.
We have identified the problem, me, so know we can identify the solution.
More Work
Happy Monday all
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
I've been having very similar thoughts fishk. I still have room to be in more control when reacting to others. At least I'm in a much better position to reflect and plan how to react in similar situations in the future.
Politics always comes up at the inlaws. It is all just mindless drivel and I'm past the point of being sick of it. Putting some ice and a little coke in my glass and slipping to the back room has been off the table for a while now. Perhaps I could do better at verbally setting boundaries in those situations.
Politics always comes up at the inlaws. It is all just mindless drivel and I'm past the point of being sick of it. Putting some ice and a little coke in my glass and slipping to the back room has been off the table for a while now. Perhaps I could do better at verbally setting boundaries in those situations.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
My ex watches all the news and soaks all that crap in. Everytime we get together we have to hear the latest bs.
Even though we share the same views I don't want to hear it.
I usually just ignore it and it goes away. If that doesn't work I just ask what can we do about it.
Today, right now.
The answer is nothing so why ruin the day worrying about it.
Some people just enjoy the drama.
Not me.
Walking away or breaking out my phone and surfing the web work also. Just zone it out.
This is one area where my reaction definitely has improves over the last year.
Even though we share the same views I don't want to hear it.
I usually just ignore it and it goes away. If that doesn't work I just ask what can we do about it.
Today, right now.
The answer is nothing so why ruin the day worrying about it.
Some people just enjoy the drama.
Not me.
Walking away or breaking out my phone and surfing the web work also. Just zone it out.
This is one area where my reaction definitely has improves over the last year.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,516
I may have told you guys, I do not do social media. And it makes me happy. And peaceful.
(I do have Insta but I don't use it).
As for the reacting stuff....the way I see it is the only thing we have the power to control is our own behaviour. That's it.
I get to choose how I react. I get to chose how I respond. Sure....I do not always choose the best direction....and that is always a mistake. I am a work in progress, like all of us. I am trying.
Without getting into the subject we are not allowed to talk about, why not just say to your in laws or anyone for that matter: I really am not comfortable taking about this, or can we please change the subject? Just do not engage. I don't. If you only knew what I have to put up with from my landlords. The stuff that is on some tv shows about Australia is just so ludicrous.... Paul asks me the craziest questions....I almost lose my mind....but I still say nothing.
Do you remember the quote: Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?
For a long time, I thought it was paramount that the right answer prevail, no matter what. Truth over delusion.
But that is just not possible, and if you keep trying to make that happen you will go mad. Or be very unhappy.
(I do have Insta but I don't use it).
As for the reacting stuff....the way I see it is the only thing we have the power to control is our own behaviour. That's it.
I get to choose how I react. I get to chose how I respond. Sure....I do not always choose the best direction....and that is always a mistake. I am a work in progress, like all of us. I am trying.
Without getting into the subject we are not allowed to talk about, why not just say to your in laws or anyone for that matter: I really am not comfortable taking about this, or can we please change the subject? Just do not engage. I don't. If you only knew what I have to put up with from my landlords. The stuff that is on some tv shows about Australia is just so ludicrous.... Paul asks me the craziest questions....I almost lose my mind....but I still say nothing.
Do you remember the quote: Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?
For a long time, I thought it was paramount that the right answer prevail, no matter what. Truth over delusion.
But that is just not possible, and if you keep trying to make that happen you will go mad. Or be very unhappy.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I agree Suze “would you rather be right? Or would you rather be happy?”
I find myself biting my tongue a lot more these days, and guess what? Life is definitely more peaceful
Having said that, when it comes to important stuff, I will definitely voice my opinion, I’m no wallflower
The other ones I like to remind myself of are “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And remember it’s all small stuff “
And the cruncher: “Choose your battles”
I still find myself reacting too often. I’m trying to pause, breathe and respond, rather than instantly react. But like all of us, I’m a work in progress. When I react badly (upset/anger/annoyance etc) I generally regret it. But words can’t be taken back once said, so I’m trying really hard to remember to pause, breathe and think before I speak. What comes out of my mouth is definitely not always the same as what’s in my mind
but that’s ok. I call it diplomacy Goodness, if all my thoughts were out there and verbalised, I would be in SO much trouble and I would likely have no friends
As for the unmentionable, I have a few friends whom I have said “if we get together, we cannot discuss “this topic”. At all. It’s off limits. We’ll have to agree to disagree, and put it aside, otherwise I’ll have to go”. That was after several conversations that went in circles and could have escalated, but I pulled the plug on it. One of them I haven’t heard from since, which actually doesn’t bother me in the slightest
I think we’re well within our rights to say we don’t want to discuss something.
Take the topic off the table.
Like alcohol. It’s off the table
I find myself biting my tongue a lot more these days, and guess what? Life is definitely more peaceful
Having said that, when it comes to important stuff, I will definitely voice my opinion, I’m no wallflower
The other ones I like to remind myself of are “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And remember it’s all small stuff “
And the cruncher: “Choose your battles”
I still find myself reacting too often. I’m trying to pause, breathe and respond, rather than instantly react. But like all of us, I’m a work in progress. When I react badly (upset/anger/annoyance etc) I generally regret it. But words can’t be taken back once said, so I’m trying really hard to remember to pause, breathe and think before I speak. What comes out of my mouth is definitely not always the same as what’s in my mind
but that’s ok. I call it diplomacy Goodness, if all my thoughts were out there and verbalised, I would be in SO much trouble and I would likely have no friends As for the unmentionable, I have a few friends whom I have said “if we get together, we cannot discuss “this topic”. At all. It’s off limits. We’ll have to agree to disagree, and put it aside, otherwise I’ll have to go”. That was after several conversations that went in circles and could have escalated, but I pulled the plug on it. One of them I haven’t heard from since, which actually doesn’t bother me in the slightest
I think we’re well within our rights to say we don’t want to discuss something.
Take the topic off the table.
Like alcohol. It’s off the table
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Ugggh I had another drinking dream last night 
it was so strange. My Mum came to visit me, but I was in a pub. She came looking for me in the pub for about an hour but couldn’t find me Weirdly I wasn’t actually drinking, but I was hanging out with drinkers at the bar, letting the AV run wild in my head. And I missed seeing my dear Mum, except very briefly when I came out of the pub and she found me, but she had to go again so I couldn’t spend any time with her.
I don’t know if there are any dream interpreters here? Maybe Suze?
I just think, I’m very grateful that I don’t drink.
I’m very grateful that I didn’t actually drink in the dream either.
I need to NOT entertain the AV in my head, and NOT hang out in bars (not that I’m intending to).
And I miss my Mum. That’s a fact. She does visit me in dreams sometimes. Maybe she can’t find me in my dreams if I’m drinking. Another darn good reason not to drink. Plus I know that she wouldn’t want me to, she wasn’t much of a drinker herself and never really approved of drinking, especially in excess like I used to do.
Maybe I just interpreted it myself lol. Sometimes it’s easier to get my thoughts straight when I write it down.
it was so strange. My Mum came to visit me, but I was in a pub. She came looking for me in the pub for about an hour but couldn’t find me Weirdly I wasn’t actually drinking, but I was hanging out with drinkers at the bar, letting the AV run wild in my head. And I missed seeing my dear Mum, except very briefly when I came out of the pub and she found me, but she had to go again so I couldn’t spend any time with her.I don’t know if there are any dream interpreters here? Maybe Suze?
I just think, I’m very grateful that I don’t drink.
I’m very grateful that I didn’t actually drink in the dream either.
I need to NOT entertain the AV in my head, and NOT hang out in bars (not that I’m intending to).
And I miss my Mum. That’s a fact. She does visit me in dreams sometimes. Maybe she can’t find me in my dreams if I’m drinking. Another darn good reason not to drink. Plus I know that she wouldn’t want me to, she wasn’t much of a drinker herself and never really approved of drinking, especially in excess like I used to do.
Maybe I just interpreted it myself lol. Sometimes it’s easier to get my thoughts straight when I write it down.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,516
Oh my gosh......
.......Maybe she can’t find me in my dreams if I’m drinking......
Your mum in your dreams is the one loving and taking care of you.....in real life, that person is now you. Taking care of you and loving yourself....
So in the dream, your mum cannot find you or connect with you when you are in that world. And I think she was showing you that you cannot find you if you let the addictive voice win.
(Very teary....that is mega emotional xx)
.......Maybe she can’t find me in my dreams if I’m drinking......
Your mum in your dreams is the one loving and taking care of you.....in real life, that person is now you. Taking care of you and loving yourself....
So in the dream, your mum cannot find you or connect with you when you are in that world. And I think she was showing you that you cannot find you if you let the addictive voice win.
(Very teary....that is mega emotional xx)
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