Class of January 2020 Part 12
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
Lol at the kill switch. I've done that And bumped throttle in gear unknowingly and tried to start it later. Doesn't work well either.
Glad it wasn't a real problem.
We've been helping the ex and her husband move the past couple days until midnight. No way in hell would that be possible when drinking.
I will say when everyone is together here it feels good. Like family.
This was a great idea.
The thing that saved our home sale was a letter my Daughter and I wrote to the buyers agent.
We explained, one by one, each item the so called inspector wrote as life threatening or possible catastrophic situation if all 10 planets align at the same time.
Stated they we're actually perfectly fine and most we're just because the house was built in 1980 and the codes were different then. The request specifically states those items will be grandfathered in. Then right under that statement they requested them to be replaced. Incompetence.
I told them exactly too. Their inspector is Incompetent.
It was basically an outlet for my anger at the situation but it seems to have eased their fears so now they only want a home warranty, which was my idea to ease concerns about water heater and appliances, and a chimney inspection.
My agent did nothing. Man it angers me I still have to pay them.
I will say that through all of this and even though my anger reached peak levels at times, drinking never crossed my mind. My brain was focused on fixing this and I know it would be even more difficult drunk.
Glad it wasn't a real problem.
We've been helping the ex and her husband move the past couple days until midnight. No way in hell would that be possible when drinking.
I will say when everyone is together here it feels good. Like family.
This was a great idea.
The thing that saved our home sale was a letter my Daughter and I wrote to the buyers agent.
We explained, one by one, each item the so called inspector wrote as life threatening or possible catastrophic situation if all 10 planets align at the same time.
Stated they we're actually perfectly fine and most we're just because the house was built in 1980 and the codes were different then. The request specifically states those items will be grandfathered in. Then right under that statement they requested them to be replaced. Incompetence.
I told them exactly too. Their inspector is Incompetent.
It was basically an outlet for my anger at the situation but it seems to have eased their fears so now they only want a home warranty, which was my idea to ease concerns about water heater and appliances, and a chimney inspection.
My agent did nothing. Man it angers me I still have to pay them.
I will say that through all of this and even though my anger reached peak levels at times, drinking never crossed my mind. My brain was focused on fixing this and I know it would be even more difficult drunk.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Glad things are progressing. Sounds really nice to have the feeling of togetherness.
Lots of incompetent professionals unfortunately. Makes it very frustrating at times. Glad you were able to work through that issue. Also glad to hear that there were no thoughts of taking the stress out on an 18 pack.
Something happened yesterday that has left me a little unnerved. A female graduate student responded to my add for internship from the summer. I explained that the summer work is over but I could possibly use part time help. We set up a meeting for yesterday. I do not interview applicants very often at all and have found the best method to be looking at some of the work I do, discussing it, and gauging the reactions and questions. The work I do is forestry, and as such, most work is in remote timbered areas. She met me at a timber property I own close to town and we began riding around and talking about various aspects of timber management. Suddenly she said that she was uncomfortable, which I didn't understand what she meant, and then just got out and began walking back to her car, which was about a quarter mile away. I turned around and went back, and waited to make sure she got back to her car fine. We talked for a little while but it was anything but a typical job interview at that point. Discrimination, harassment, or inappropriate behavior in a professional setting is something I take very seriously, and i do not consider myself to be scary. The incident has left me taken aback. Perhaps she had never been in a remote wooded area before, which doesn't say much for someone applying for a job in forestry. Maybe she had never been in a work truck before. Maybe there was something from her past that triggered a panic reaction. Maybe she has been watching too much news coverage of the girl out west that was killed by her boyfriend. I would certainly want any young lady to take any action that was needed in an uncomfortable situation. After yesterday though, I may never consider a female applicant again for the work I do.
If the same thing had happened two years ago, I would have probably been hungover and would have had much less control of my thoughts which would have left me in a greater state of shock. I would have started drinking on the way home to settle my nerves, and the incident would have been incorporated into my network of anxiety that reinforced the drinking.
Lots of incompetent professionals unfortunately. Makes it very frustrating at times. Glad you were able to work through that issue. Also glad to hear that there were no thoughts of taking the stress out on an 18 pack.
Something happened yesterday that has left me a little unnerved. A female graduate student responded to my add for internship from the summer. I explained that the summer work is over but I could possibly use part time help. We set up a meeting for yesterday. I do not interview applicants very often at all and have found the best method to be looking at some of the work I do, discussing it, and gauging the reactions and questions. The work I do is forestry, and as such, most work is in remote timbered areas. She met me at a timber property I own close to town and we began riding around and talking about various aspects of timber management. Suddenly she said that she was uncomfortable, which I didn't understand what she meant, and then just got out and began walking back to her car, which was about a quarter mile away. I turned around and went back, and waited to make sure she got back to her car fine. We talked for a little while but it was anything but a typical job interview at that point. Discrimination, harassment, or inappropriate behavior in a professional setting is something I take very seriously, and i do not consider myself to be scary. The incident has left me taken aback. Perhaps she had never been in a remote wooded area before, which doesn't say much for someone applying for a job in forestry. Maybe she had never been in a work truck before. Maybe there was something from her past that triggered a panic reaction. Maybe she has been watching too much news coverage of the girl out west that was killed by her boyfriend. I would certainly want any young lady to take any action that was needed in an uncomfortable situation. After yesterday though, I may never consider a female applicant again for the work I do.
If the same thing had happened two years ago, I would have probably been hungover and would have had much less control of my thoughts which would have left me in a greater state of shock. I would have started drinking on the way home to settle my nerves, and the incident would have been incorporated into my network of anxiety that reinforced the drinking.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Well, I agree with you.....sounds like Gaby Petito was on her mind. And quite frankly, that was a fairly stupid thing for her to do......we know you but she does not. I think she realised that being a female alone in the woods with a man was not that bright....but it is certainly not your fault dear CB. I think you handled the whole thing very well, and you were a total gentleman. 
s ❤️
s ❤️
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
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Thank you Venus. I'm beginning to think that being alone in the woods with a female is not very bright either. Perhaps I let down my guard a little because the kid over the summer worked out so well. Being alone in the woods characterizes the majority of my work, and it only gets more scary than riding around with me shooting the breeze, so, if you don't consider a female applicant, you are guilty of discrimination, if you do, you have to be hyper-sensitive to the appearance of anything inappropriate. I just don't have time for it.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Oh yes, I so understand. It is a tricky one.
Maybe this is dumb.....but I think that girls need to take a friend with them when they apply for positions like this....or a parent even. Show some sense. (Them, not you).
Maybe this is dumb.....but I think that girls need to take a friend with them when they apply for positions like this....or a parent even. Show some sense. (Them, not you).
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
I think you are right about the recent events and then driving into the forest with a stranger triggered her reaction.
There was a communication trail between you 2 I am sure so to think you were up to no good is a bit unreasonable IMO. No way you would not be the first person they would look at if something happened.
Don't take it personal.
Next time I would meet at the office first to get a better feel for each other before driving into a forest.
This is what I would tell my daughter to do. Meet in a secure location and let your gut talk to you before trusting someone.
Met one of our soon to be neighbors yesterday. His house is in front of our property and our drive goes past it. Nice guy. 70 some years old. 11 years sober.
Alcohol ruined his life. Race car driver for Good Year then lost license permanently for habitual DWIs.
Fired. Couldn't get a job even changing tires because no license. None would insure him to even work on cars.
He is broke. Rents the home from friends who helped him get back on his feet. Health problems from chemical burns to his lungs. Spent 7 months in coma.
Spent what little savings he had years ago on a couple of old Corvettes.
Still glad to be sober.
That will tell you something right there.
He said when he is feeling down and walks outside and sees the Vettes sitting there all is good in the world.
Something to live for. Drunks have nothing to live for. Just the next drunk.
There was a communication trail between you 2 I am sure so to think you were up to no good is a bit unreasonable IMO. No way you would not be the first person they would look at if something happened.
Don't take it personal.
Next time I would meet at the office first to get a better feel for each other before driving into a forest.
This is what I would tell my daughter to do. Meet in a secure location and let your gut talk to you before trusting someone.
Met one of our soon to be neighbors yesterday. His house is in front of our property and our drive goes past it. Nice guy. 70 some years old. 11 years sober.
Alcohol ruined his life. Race car driver for Good Year then lost license permanently for habitual DWIs.
Fired. Couldn't get a job even changing tires because no license. None would insure him to even work on cars.
He is broke. Rents the home from friends who helped him get back on his feet. Health problems from chemical burns to his lungs. Spent 7 months in coma.
Spent what little savings he had years ago on a couple of old Corvettes.
Still glad to be sober.
That will tell you something right there.
He said when he is feeling down and walks outside and sees the Vettes sitting there all is good in the world.
Something to live for. Drunks have nothing to live for. Just the next drunk.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
There is not going to be a next time. I'm out on anything coming close to that situation again.
Interesting story about neighbor guy. Makes you wonder how many race car driver / sports star type people end up in a similar situation.
Interesting story about neighbor guy. Makes you wonder how many race car driver / sports star type people end up in a similar situation.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 354
Hi everyone!
Good to catch up on your posts... some challenging situations and happenings and all.
In good news I've got some temp work for a few weeks!
It has been a tough few months, really tough at times. Hence the drop off in posting recently... when nothing much is happening (and covid also very much comes in to this) - well, I'm not one for the the "just checking in posts" (although it was a very essential part of the tool box in early sobriety).
But through it all, I've never once turned to thoughts of having a drink. So that is obviously a very good thing :-)
Not to say there haven't been times when I wanted to "escape", but having a drink was never on the agenda.
So I have gone from having far too much time on my hands [to over think] to having no time at all. My days literally turned upside down in the space of less than 24 hours.
Ironically stress levels are no better (just stressing about different things - the human way eh?). But justified stress. I've spoken with people over the phone, and the dreaded zoom meeting plenty of times over the past year and bit, but meaningful (ie not just small talk) face to face conversations with other adults - that I can count on one hand. Now it is a constant part of my working day.
This coming week will be, erm, interesting. The company I am working for open their offices up for the first time in 18 months. Working from home, which has been the norm for every office worker here for the last 18 months, is coming to an end here. Some people are going to be travelling for the first time in a long time, seeing colleagues for the first time. And all in a country where we still have tens of thousands of cases of covid (although vaccination rates are quite high).
It is what it is (I am getting a bit tired of hearing and saying that lately), but forever thankful to be doing it sober. Just on a basic level - no waking up at 6am with a hangover, and those precious few hours after getting home and before going to bed - not wasted on getting and being drunk.
Good to catch up on your posts... some challenging situations and happenings and all.
In good news I've got some temp work for a few weeks!
It has been a tough few months, really tough at times. Hence the drop off in posting recently... when nothing much is happening (and covid also very much comes in to this) - well, I'm not one for the the "just checking in posts" (although it was a very essential part of the tool box in early sobriety).
But through it all, I've never once turned to thoughts of having a drink. So that is obviously a very good thing :-)
Not to say there haven't been times when I wanted to "escape", but having a drink was never on the agenda.
So I have gone from having far too much time on my hands [to over think] to having no time at all. My days literally turned upside down in the space of less than 24 hours.
Ironically stress levels are no better (just stressing about different things - the human way eh?). But justified stress. I've spoken with people over the phone, and the dreaded zoom meeting plenty of times over the past year and bit, but meaningful (ie not just small talk) face to face conversations with other adults - that I can count on one hand. Now it is a constant part of my working day.
This coming week will be, erm, interesting. The company I am working for open their offices up for the first time in 18 months. Working from home, which has been the norm for every office worker here for the last 18 months, is coming to an end here. Some people are going to be travelling for the first time in a long time, seeing colleagues for the first time. And all in a country where we still have tens of thousands of cases of covid (although vaccination rates are quite high).
It is what it is (I am getting a bit tired of hearing and saying that lately), but forever thankful to be doing it sober. Just on a basic level - no waking up at 6am with a hangover, and those precious few hours after getting home and before going to bed - not wasted on getting and being drunk.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Great to see you check in Abraxas. Sounds like things are continuing to move in a positive direction for you.
Just a warning. People return to a pre-pandemic routine, I think that many bring their pandemic-related anxiety with them. Driving skills are down. Lots of people acting goofy. "... strength to accept things I can't change... "
Hope the move is progressing nicely fishk.
Just a warning. People return to a pre-pandemic routine, I think that many bring their pandemic-related anxiety with them. Driving skills are down. Lots of people acting goofy. "... strength to accept things I can't change... "
Hope the move is progressing nicely fishk.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by Cityboy 
Just a warning. People return to a pre-pandemic routine, I think that many bring their pandemic-related anxiety with them. Driving skills are down. Lots of people acting goofy. "... strength to accept things I can't change... "
I didn't mention it earlier, but none of this is helped by the state of the nation at the moment - an energy crisis has pushed prices up considerably, there's a shortage of fuel, inflation is up, and a very serious unease about how things will pan out over winter with covid and other seasonal viruses.
Amen to accepting the things we cannot change.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
FishK, I hope that it's going as smoothly as possible with the relocation. Starting to look for fishing spots I hope.
Abraxas, I hope the new work is going well. Hope you are not affected by the gas supply issues there and the trouble that is brewing. Is the trouble in London?
Work is busy here at the moment, which is good and bad. Necessary care for Mom is on a gradual increase unfortunately. This means more coordination with siblings, which seems to automatically lead to friction, which apparently is my Achilles heal for the AV acting up. Not happening though. Continuing in my quest to learn more about the things like negativity, effective communication, etc.
Also, SIL gave me an electronic starbucks gift card. So, now I not only have a wallet full of starbucks cards, but I also have a starbucks account. I'm not going to tell any of my friends though, LOL.
Abraxas, I hope the new work is going well. Hope you are not affected by the gas supply issues there and the trouble that is brewing. Is the trouble in London?
Work is busy here at the moment, which is good and bad. Necessary care for Mom is on a gradual increase unfortunately. This means more coordination with siblings, which seems to automatically lead to friction, which apparently is my Achilles heal for the AV acting up. Not happening though. Continuing in my quest to learn more about the things like negativity, effective communication, etc.
Also, SIL gave me an electronic starbucks gift card. So, now I not only have a wallet full of starbucks cards, but I also have a starbucks account. I'm not going to tell any of my friends though, LOL.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 354
Yep, lots of trouble brewing here - looks like it is going to be a tough winter. The gas supply issues (due to a national shortage of HGV drivers) have finally subsided... queues to fill up the car were a good couple of hours wait for a couple of weeks there.
The wholesale price of energy has shot up dramatically also, leading to consumer energy costs increasing 20-30% almost overnight. Suggestions are that we could be paying 50% more next year than we were paying a few weeks ago. Add to that a rise in general inflation and other supply chain issues... comparisons are being made to the 1978/9 "winter of discontent" when the country almost ground to a halt... fingers crossed it is not a cold winter coming up.
The new job is going great! Hard work in variety of ways (not least people, including myself, having to socially interact "in person" for the first time in months). Getting in to a new routine has been exhausting but rewarding.
Interestingly, for the first few days at least, I had a bit of a "I could do with a beer" moment when I got home each day. Which is pretty weird because beer wasn't really my thing... so even after all this time, my brain seems to still have that connection to getting home = having a drink. It wasn't a strong feeling, no threat to my sobriety, but a bit of a surprise I have to say.
On the train home yesterday a group of guys got on, having "a good time" and clearly under the influence. Being loud, and whilst not completely anti-social, were only a few beers away from becoming obnoxious. I cringed a little as I have done that a few times myself, not realising what a bit of an idiot you can look like to others who are going about their normal business.
The wholesale price of energy has shot up dramatically also, leading to consumer energy costs increasing 20-30% almost overnight. Suggestions are that we could be paying 50% more next year than we were paying a few weeks ago. Add to that a rise in general inflation and other supply chain issues... comparisons are being made to the 1978/9 "winter of discontent" when the country almost ground to a halt... fingers crossed it is not a cold winter coming up.
The new job is going great! Hard work in variety of ways (not least people, including myself, having to socially interact "in person" for the first time in months). Getting in to a new routine has been exhausting but rewarding.
Interestingly, for the first few days at least, I had a bit of a "I could do with a beer" moment when I got home each day. Which is pretty weird because beer wasn't really my thing... so even after all this time, my brain seems to still have that connection to getting home = having a drink. It wasn't a strong feeling, no threat to my sobriety, but a bit of a surprise I have to say.
On the train home yesterday a group of guys got on, having "a good time" and clearly under the influence. Being loud, and whilst not completely anti-social, were only a few beers away from becoming obnoxious. I cringed a little as I have done that a few times myself, not realising what a bit of an idiot you can look like to others who are going about their normal business.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
Glad the new job is working out abraxas! We don't need no stinking beer.
I am afraid things, fuel issues etc., will not get better until there is some major push back from us, the citizens of the world, against the tyrannical forces destroying everything at the moment.
city I found a "river" 3 miles from the new place. More like a creek but saw a big catfish floating and heard of some nice bass caught also. Not a freshwater fisherman but I guess I will become one when I don't want to drive to the salt. I'm sure there are other freshwater species there also.
Negativity. Selfishness. Seems these things are everywhere. Not going anywhere. I am working on just not dealing with it. I'll do everything my damn self but don't ever ask me for anything. Have a Negative outlook on life?? Get away from me. Don't need the drama.
Patience? I have about zero these days for foolishness.
I will do anything I can for people but act stupid and I just tell em, you are acting stupid. Screw off.
These are things I would just bury when I was a drunk. Drink enough and they actually do go away, brain cells fried so I forgot why I was mad. Until the next time.
Nowadays I am hitting them head on and busting through the other side. I like this Me better. Not always pretty but life almost never is when dealing with some people.
Things are moving along here. Not smoothly but moving. Well failed because we had not run water in a while. Fixed that. Then AC broke a few days ago. I put a new fan motor in yesterday and all is good again. Chimney failed inspection, which I new it would. Getting liner installed today if rain holds out. It has been one trial after another.
No thoughts of drink though.
Both neighbors have covid now. Doctors said he was pretty close to the end when he got to hospital. Both had their shots. All I will say about that here.
May not sound like it but I feel I am in a pretty good place now. Taking care of Me and those I care about. The rest of the world can take care of itself. To put it nicely.
I am afraid things, fuel issues etc., will not get better until there is some major push back from us, the citizens of the world, against the tyrannical forces destroying everything at the moment.
city I found a "river" 3 miles from the new place. More like a creek but saw a big catfish floating and heard of some nice bass caught also. Not a freshwater fisherman but I guess I will become one when I don't want to drive to the salt. I'm sure there are other freshwater species there also.
Negativity. Selfishness. Seems these things are everywhere. Not going anywhere. I am working on just not dealing with it. I'll do everything my damn self but don't ever ask me for anything. Have a Negative outlook on life?? Get away from me. Don't need the drama.
Patience? I have about zero these days for foolishness.
I will do anything I can for people but act stupid and I just tell em, you are acting stupid. Screw off.
These are things I would just bury when I was a drunk. Drink enough and they actually do go away, brain cells fried so I forgot why I was mad. Until the next time.
Nowadays I am hitting them head on and busting through the other side. I like this Me better. Not always pretty but life almost never is when dealing with some people.
Things are moving along here. Not smoothly but moving. Well failed because we had not run water in a while. Fixed that. Then AC broke a few days ago. I put a new fan motor in yesterday and all is good again. Chimney failed inspection, which I new it would. Getting liner installed today if rain holds out. It has been one trial after another.
No thoughts of drink though.
Both neighbors have covid now. Doctors said he was pretty close to the end when he got to hospital. Both had their shots. All I will say about that here.
May not sound like it but I feel I am in a pretty good place now. Taking care of Me and those I care about. The rest of the world can take care of itself. To put it nicely.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
A couple of things this week.
I've talked about the big professional association meeting where two years ago I just drank beer and socialized the whole time, making an ass of myself, but this year remained sober. There are two other professional associations, smaller and more specific, that I have not even participated in. Mostly due to the social anxiety thing and not wanting to come into contact with my old boss.
One of those associations had a big state membership (about 30 people) meeting this week. It was held locally and looked to have good speakers so I went. Of course I know a good percentage of the members, so the social anxiety was almost nil.
My old boss was there, and the first encounter by the coffee stand went as predicted, with him looking down his nose at me like a **** on. I got some of that old feeling from 20 years ago, but didn't drink it out that night like I did so many times before. The next morning, as I saw him in the room, I had a completely different feeling in which I saw him in a different light and that old feeling seemed to be gone forever. A whole new level of dividends from sobriety.
The other thing. Working on a deal with an old business acquaintance right now. He's a good guy but doesn't socialize around the industry as much. Every time we talk, he makes comments about drinking a cold beer after work or over the weekend. He doesn't even drink much beer, if any, and only makes those comments because he doesn't know I put down my coozie. So, it's been interesting to me to see how people react to my having quit, or in this case, to see how quickly or slowly people found out that I had quit. I may or may not tell him. It's kind of funny to be honest.
Fishk, I hope NC is working out well.
Abraxas, I hope things are smoothing out with the gas supply issue.
I've talked about the big professional association meeting where two years ago I just drank beer and socialized the whole time, making an ass of myself, but this year remained sober. There are two other professional associations, smaller and more specific, that I have not even participated in. Mostly due to the social anxiety thing and not wanting to come into contact with my old boss.
One of those associations had a big state membership (about 30 people) meeting this week. It was held locally and looked to have good speakers so I went. Of course I know a good percentage of the members, so the social anxiety was almost nil.
My old boss was there, and the first encounter by the coffee stand went as predicted, with him looking down his nose at me like a **** on. I got some of that old feeling from 20 years ago, but didn't drink it out that night like I did so many times before. The next morning, as I saw him in the room, I had a completely different feeling in which I saw him in a different light and that old feeling seemed to be gone forever. A whole new level of dividends from sobriety.
The other thing. Working on a deal with an old business acquaintance right now. He's a good guy but doesn't socialize around the industry as much. Every time we talk, he makes comments about drinking a cold beer after work or over the weekend. He doesn't even drink much beer, if any, and only makes those comments because he doesn't know I put down my coozie. So, it's been interesting to me to see how people react to my having quit, or in this case, to see how quickly or slowly people found out that I had quit. I may or may not tell him. It's kind of funny to be honest.
Fishk, I hope NC is working out well.
Abraxas, I hope things are smoothing out with the gas supply issue.
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